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+--- Thread: 5$ BTC GIVEAWAY | 4th GIVEAWAY | JOKE CONTEST (/showthread.php?tid=5651385)
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* - Skyion - Jun 20, 2017
(Jun 20, 2017 02:33 PM)Mr. Robot Wrote: Wut.
I didn't say their wouldn't be multiple winners I will edit the thread to make it more clear.
* - Prettykitty - Jun 20, 2017
What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic?
Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there is a dog.
Why do trees seem suspicious on sunny days?
Dunno, they're just a bit shady.
* - Bik1998 - Jun 20, 2017
I was going to write really good joke ... but i saw my wiggle and i got sad.
Size doesn't matter words from my girlfriend - 2010
p.s She is marrying with my best friend Josh or as we call him The Big Wiggle - 2017
🤝
* - OnlyFinesse - Jun 20, 2017
Pussy.
Do you get it?
* - Skyion - Jun 20, 2017
(Jun 20, 2017 03:47 PM)Fluff- Wrote: Pussy.
Do you get it?
Hmm yeah makes a lot of sense 🙃
I just one the green leaf award from this post lol
* - ☘️☘️☘️☘️ - Jun 21, 2017
wassup Skyion, PLEASE SEND $5 to 12Vh2XxpQoci82VrvR9tZgN6dptxfgxeug
Once upon a time I wanted $5 so I asked Skyion. Thanks you rock dude!
* - BTB™ - Jun 21, 2017
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!”
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.
She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣
* - Elinked - Jun 21, 2017
More of a comeback;
"who lit a fuse in your tampon?"
* - Cain_ - Jun 22, 2017
A guy goes into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a $100 bill on his penis. Curious, the tattoo artist asks him why he would possibly want that. "Three reasons: I like to play with my money, I like to watch my money grow, and a hundred dollars seems to be the only thing my wife will blow these days."
* - Sapience - Jun 22, 2017
The name, the crime, the mugshot... Basically just everything about this.
![[Image: VBsptjI.png]](https://i.imgur.com/VBsptjI.png)
* - roosiinfidel09 - Jun 22, 2017
Alright ...LONG JOKE
So, there is this border control inspector in a desert at the border of say country A and Country B, who gets a tip about a smuggler on a motorbike.
He is waiting eagerly and sure enough the guy turns up with two huge gunny sacks tied to the bike. He stops the guy and asks his guard to thoroughly check the sacks. The guards check the gunny sacks but find nothing. The frustrated Inspector orders them to cut them open because his informer had never been wrong. So, they cut it open and they are filled with....sand. Just sand. They check the guy and the bike..nothing.
Well, the Inspector has to let the guy go.
He double checks with his informer who confirms that one hundred percent the guy is smuggling something.
So the Inspector orders X-Ray machines, drug-sniffing dogs and what not.
Sure enough the next day the guy on the bike is again at the border crossing. They check again ...again he has those two gunny sacks. When they cut them open..it is just sand.
They X-Ray him.
The dog checks him out and his bike..nothing.
The inspector is furious, but has to let him go.
This goes on for years.
Finally, the Inspector is retired.
SO the very next day he ends up drunk at the guy's house
He says" Well, now I am retired and I promise on my children I wont tell a thing to anyone. I know you are a smuggler and you smuggle something across the border. Just so I don't die of curiosity, I beg you please tell me what in the mother cocksucking fuck do you smuggle? we even checked your asshole"
The guy smiles and says..Bikes!!!
* - Skyion - Jun 23, 2017
Last day to enter better make some good jokes people
Last chance to enter enter while you can
(Jun 20, 2017 12:08 PM)AliasIlias Wrote: An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic.
He put a sign up outside that said: "Get your treatment for $500 - if not cured get back $1,000."
Doctor "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000.
He went to Dr. Geezer's clinic and this is what happened.
Dr. Young: "Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me?
Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young's mouth."
Dr. Young: "Aaagh! This is Gasoline!"
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $500."
Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.
Dr Young: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything."
Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."
Doctor Young: "Oh no you don't, that's Gasoline!"
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be $500."
Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.
Dr. Young: "My eyesight has become weak I can hardly see!"
Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so. Here's your $1000 back."
Dr. Young: "But this is only $500..."
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500."
Moral of story: Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart an old "Geezer "
You win pm me please thanks for entering