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Essay grammer any mistakes? - Badplum - Oct 21, 2014

In ELA I need to make an essay comparing the maze runner book to the movie. I want to make sure that I have as few grammer errors as possible. You dont need to watch the movie (that was terrible) to help me, I would just appreciate it if someone could point out any grammer issues I made. Thanks in advance! 😁 (I dont expect anyone will want to read this but if you do Id greatly appreciate it xD )

Code
Alby is different in The Maze Runner book and in the movie. Although in both the movie and book Alby is one of the most interesting characters. He has his similarities from the book and his differences from the movie. There are few similarities with Alby in the book and in the movie The Maze Runner. One similarity with Alby in the book and the film is that Alby liked Thomas from the beginning and to the end.  He trusted him through out the book such as when Alby shot Ben to save Thomas in the book.  Alby was very brave and selfless notably when he sacrificed himself to cause a distraction when Thomas was in the abyss to type in the code and when he told Tomas to escape the maze before his noble dead in the movie. He decided to sacrifice himself to save everyone in the book and film.

   In the movie Alby was described as a nine-teen black male.  He always was jovial towards Thomas for instance when Thomas first arrived to the Glade. Alby died in the first griever attack, however,  there was only one attack on the Glade. In the film Alby never made it after the changing so he never changed his personality or made him haggard. Alby was also a side character and was rarely seen throughout the film such as when Newt defended Thomas with a shovel instead of having Alby strike down Ben in a belligerent way. In conclusion of the film Alby was the only original glader in the movie.

  In the book Alby was still described as a nine-teen year old black male. Unlike the movie Alby kept a neutral relationship with Thomas and was not as jovial towards him especially after Alby went through the changing. In the book Alby survived all of the griever attacks, however, after the attacks he sacrificed himself to buy the gladers more time to enter the griver hole. Alby was a main character in the book having more to do with plot. Alby never saved Thomas from Ben regarding the fact Newt knocked him out with a shovel. Additionally Alby burnt the map room so that no one would leave the glade because in his vision's the out side world is terrible. In conclusion Alby was not the only original glader for he can with twenty other gladers.

In conclusion the Alby in the book was more thought out and had more character traits, however, in the movie he was not as thought out and was underestimated. In the movie he was not included in the plot and was not an essential character in the story. Overall many could agree that he was a rushed character and was a lot more

interesting in the book.



* - Louis C.K. - Oct 21, 2014

Although in both the movie and book, Alby...

There are a few similarities with Alby.....

One similarity with Alby in the book and the film is that Alby liked Thomas from the beginning and to the end.======>One similarity is that...... or...... one similarity with Alby in both the book and the film...

that Alby liked Thomas from the beginning and to the end.======> from the beginning to the end.

He trusted him (throughout) the book such as when Alby shot Ben to save Thomas in the book. This sentence need editing, the pronoun are ambiguous.

Alby was very brave and selfless notably when =====> Error in parallelism, and the sentence needs to be revise, maybe a comma?Is a run on sentence with 2 when.

I got tired after the first paragraph. someone confirm these errors to help out op. GL man.


* - Badplum - Oct 21, 2014

Thank you so much! Didnt know I had so many errors in the first paragraph. Im going to need to revise for more errors.


* - Rivalry - Oct 22, 2014

Corrected and optimised to flow:

Code
Alby is presented differently in 'The Maze Runner' book and the movie, although in both the movie and the book Alby is one of the most interesting characters. He has his similarities from the book and his differences from the movie. Nevertheless, there are few similarities between Alby in the book and Alby in the movie. One similarity between Alby in the book and the film is that Alby liked Thomas from the beginning to the end;  he trusted him throughout the book, such as when Alby shot Ben to save Thomas.  Alby was very brave and selfless, notably when he sacrificed himself to cause a distraction when Thomas was in the abyss, allowing him to type in the code and escape the maze. Therefore Alby decided to sacrifice himself to save everyone in both the book and the film.

In the movie Alby was depicted as a nineteen year old black male.  He was always jovial towards Thomas, such as when Thomas first arrived in the Glade. In the film, Alby never made it after the changing so he never changed his personality (or became haggard). Alby was also a side character and was rarely seen throughout the film, like when Newt defended Thomas with a shovel instead of having Alby strike down Ben in a belligerent way. In conclusion, Alby was the only original Glader in the movie.

In the book Alby was also described as a nineteen year old black male. Unlike the movie, Alby kept a neutral relationship with Thomas and was not as jovial towards him; especially after Alby went through the changing. In the book Alby survived all of the Griever attacks, although after the attacks he sacrificed himself to buy the Gladers more time to enter the Griever hole. Alby was a main character in the book, having more to do with plot. Alby never saved Thomas from Ben (regarding the fact that Newt knocked him out with a shovel). Additionally, Alby burnt the map room so that no one would leave the Glade, because in his visions the outside world is terrible. In conclusion Alby was not the only original Glader, for he was with twenty other Gladers.

To sum up, Alby in the book was a more developed character and had more character traits. However, in the movie he was not as well thought-out and was underplayed. In the movie he was not included in the plot and was not an essential character in the story. Overall, many could agree that he was a rushed character and was a lot more interesting in the book.

I hope this helps!


* - Trickstered - Oct 22, 2014

Adding to the previous ones, its grammar, not grammer.


* - Badplum - Dec 8, 2014

okay thanks everyone I fixed a few more errors (I know this is a VERY late response) and I ended up getting an 88% soooo ya thanks