[Request] Need a High Quality Sales thread

Title says it all. Do not post or PM me unless your gfx skills are top of the line, I am not looking for some 12 year old Leonardo da Vinci wannabe. Nor am I looking for someone who thinks they are a descendent of the Mona Lisa. I will literally take a spoon, scoop up the bullshit you are giving me, and shove it directly back up your ass until you are so stuffed with your own bullshit your eyes will turn brown. I need someone who speaks proper English, as I need them to understand me, I also need them to have a understanding of Linux VPS's so that they can corroborate the design into the thread. Thank you, I hope to hear from you soon.