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Complete Guide on Attracting Almost Any Girl - TomHimself - Sep 17, 2015
I've noticed most people around here are clueless when it comes to building attraction and the worst thing is, most people give advice that doesn't work, because they don't have sufficient experience and knowledge.
Introduction
Spoiler (Click to View)
First of all, I'd like to talk about what attraction is. Attraction is the feeling one has toward another person when they have sexual interest in them. It is an emotion felt similarly by both men and women, but for completely different reasons.
I'd like to point out that attraction is not a process that happens by choice. You can't logically convince a girl to become attracted to you.
Similarly, you can't bore a girl into being attracted to you - in other words, being all sweet, kind and generous (without prior attraction) will just bore the shit out of her and turn her off.
Attraction is an unconscious process that happens in response to certain traits. If a man displays these traits the woman will be turned on, just as when a man sees a hot woman.
If a woman feels attraction for a man, then nothing else matters. The man does not even have to be her type!
After all, when you ask a girl what kind of guys she likes, what will she say?
"Nice, sweet, caring" and the list goes on. Yet, she will end up dating an asshole.
Why? Because of the so-called social programming - she has to tell the society (including you, her friends, etc.) that she is attracted to nice guys, because otherwise, she'd be thought of as a slut.
So, the million dollar question is, how do you build attraction?
What builds attraction
Spoiler (Click to View)
There are several ways to build attraction - some of them project who you actually are, some of them are just attraction routines that make you stand out and work on her subconscious mind (including her attraction switches).
In general, girls are attracted to a man who projects these so-called High Value traits:
- Preselected by other women - You have lots of women around you who like you and this is probably the strongest attraction switch, because - in a woman's mind, other women choose you because you have the other attractive traits. This is why bringing a girl with you when you're out will instantly draw more attention to you and you will be perceived as a high value guy.
- Protector of loved ones - You care about your family and friends and you're willing to fight for them
- Humor - This one may seem simple, but don't confuse it with being funny. Funny is "haha". Funny won't get you laid. Playful will get you laid.
- Leader of men - Self-explanatory. This involves group activities where you're put in charge. This is why managers and bosses often have lots of women attracted to them - they're in a position where they lead other men.
Be the leader of your group - someone with power and choice.
- Successful risk-taker - You did something dangerous/forbidden and got away with it.
- World traveler - Self-explanatory.
- Willingness to emote - This isn't a very strong attraction switch, it's rather a required trait; it just shows her that you're not a psychopath. Showing her you can laugh, empathize, be playful, etc. is enough.
- Social alignments - Think of the one person in your social circle that everyone knows and everyone would stand up for. Be that person.
- Confidence - Self-explanatory. You have a strong belief in yourself and your abilities. You get things done and go for what you want in life. While confidence will get you further than no confidence, it's not enough on its own.
So, why are these traits perceived as attractive? As I briefly mentioned, they're High Value traits. But what is the so-called value?
Basically, your two biological roles (regardless of your gender) are survival and replication. Simply put, you're attracted to someone with high value, because it increases your survival + replication chances.
However, there are slight gender differences when it comes to the value system. The attraction process has evolved over thousands of years, possibly tens of thousands, so you have to "think cavemen" when it comes to attraction.
A woman needs a man who increases her survival chances while a man needs a woman who increases his replication chances.
How to build attraction - The Mystery Method
Spoiler (Click to View)
Now, I'd like to describe a model described by Mystery (the pickup artist), it's called the Mystery Method or simply the M3 model, because it consists of 3 "pillars": Attraction > Comfort > Seduction.
Each of them consists of 3 steps, so we have 9 steps in total.
A = Attraction
C = Comfort
S = Seduction
They are: A1 - Opening
The first step is opening a girl. In other words, you approach her and use a line that does not project interest. It's important to use a false time constraint, to prevent the girl from feeling pressure. It's amazing how one simple phrase can change her perception. All you have to do is say something along this line - "I only have a minute before I go / get back to my friends".
After that, you can use a situational opener ("Hey, what book is that?" or, if you're in a club, you can ask her about her drink, the music, etc.). Opinion openers are also great, because they get the girl talking. It can be something as simple as - "Who do you think lies more, men or women?" (This is a classic by Mystery).
Important note: Never approach a girl from the front, talk to her over the shoulder until she starts investing into the conversation. Once she's done that, slowly turn your body towards her.
A2 - Female-to-male interest
In this stage, you have to project your value (the traits I mentioned above) while displaying disinterest in the girl.
There is a huge difference between projecting disinterest and not projecting interest.
Not projecting interest is what nice guys do and they end up friendzoned. Projecting disinterest in a playful way is a powerful tool that builds attraction.
You can do this non-verbally - by talking to her over the shoulder and verbally. You can plainly tell her that you think she is attractive, but she isn't your type.
If she asks you what your type is, she's interested and you can switch to A3. Instead of telling her what your type is, tell her something like "What attracts me is a good personality, a good sense of humor and a positive attitude. You seem to have two so far, that's a good start.". You can also add "What do you have going on besides your look?" after that.
Basically, let her know that you're not interested in her looks.
Once she is interested in you (turns her body towards you, plays with her hair, compliments you, etc.), you're allowed to compliment her, but only on her personality and only after she has earned it.
What do I mean by that? Let me give you an example - this is called the hoop theory (credits to Mystery), or B-H-R-R (Bait, Hook, Reel, Release).
You: Can you cook? (Bait) Girl: Hmm... It depends, I can only cook Chinese food. You: No way! I love Chinese food. How good is your sushi? (Hook) Girl: I'm good at it...blah blah blah. You: Wow, that's great. Most girls I talk to can't cook at all. You'll have to cook for me some time. (Reel) Girl: Sure. You: But let's do it at my place, I don't think I'd feel safe at yours just yet. (Release)
A Bait can be a question to challenger her: a compliance test, a hoop, you basically test her and see if she answers in a positive way.
A Hook is when she genuinely answers a question, complies, or responds to the artist’s Demonstration of Higher Value with an Indicator Of Interest. If she is not hooked, go back to A2 and work on attraction some more.
A Reel is a reward. The artist can give her kino escalation (touch her), an Indicator Of Interest in return for compliance.
A Release is the breakaway that happens before the warm feeling of the reward turns to awkwardness. The artist can release by physically pushing her away (gently) and saying, “alright get off me, that’s all you get for now.” The PUA can also give a false time constraint after a reward, making her chase him.
After A3 the Comfort phases begin, the first of which is C1 Connection. The objective in this Comfort phase is to build an emotional connection with the girl. That is, you get to know her and allow her to get to know you in a way that gives her the sense that you have connected on a meaningful level. She needs to feel that you are someone who sees her for who she really is, and appreciates her for it.
We left off in A3 with the girl isolated and qualifying herself to you. As she is now attracted to you, and knows that you enjoy her company as well, she is going to want to build comfort with you. At this point you should lead her to a comfort location, where the two of you can sit down in isolation.
This is stage can only occur in a private place, because this is where things get sexual, heavy making out is going on and you're escalating towards sex by kissing her neck, etc.
S2 - Last Minute Resistance
This does not always occur. Actually, it only occurs when you don't build enough comfort, but you have a massive amount of attraction. This is why you need to have both. I personally have never had this happen to me, probably because I know how to calibrate and build a good connection.
Last Minute Resistance is a self-defense mechanism of the girl, because she doesn't want to feel like a slut for sleeping with someone she doesn't know - if you build a connection with her, she will feel like she knows you and you will almost always eliminate this feeling in advance. However, when LMR does occur, you can still smash it.
Also, there's this 7-hour rule and this usually occurs if you seduce (from attraction to seduction) a girl too quickly (under 7 hours).
That's it, guys. I hope you enjoyed reading this guide. If you have any questions, feel free to ask or send me a private message. Also, vote and let me know what you'd like me to talk about in the next thread. ✌
Isn't this unnatural, ingenuine and deceitful?
If your DHV stories are truthful, there is no deception going on. Picking up girls is merely a skill.
Can I attract any girl or does this work only on a certain type of girls?
The short answer is, it works on any and all girls. Why? Because they all share the same attraction circuits in their brains. The only difference is, different girls respond to some attraction switches more than others. While preselection may be enough to attract one girl, it may take a leader of men and a protector of loved ones to attract another one.
I'm not good looking, will this work, too?
Your looks don't impact your success. You just have to be groomed, dressed in a stylish way and have good hygiene, but that's all you really need. Your face does not matter, as long as don't obviously neglect yourself.
She says I'm not her type. Can I still attract her?
Most of the time, when a girl says you're not her type, she is actually interested, but she is just testing you. For more information about these tests, simply look up "shit tests" - I'm going to write an article about them soon.
Will this work on my friends, too?
It works on any girl, but if you're suddenly trying to attract a friend, it will just seem ingenuine and she will probably notice something isn't right. I suggest you try this with other girls first and try it on your friends only once you're intermediate or advanced.
Should I tell her I like her?
Never tell a girl you like her, right away. You can do this in the Comfort phase, but only after you have built attraction.
You just made me realize so many mistakes , and right things I've done overall. This is FREE High Quality content! You should all be bowing down to Tomynho for all these gems we're being provided with! Kudos my good sir ! Thank you very much :-)
Very good information, however I am going to point out in one of the first lines you stated attraction is when two people have sexual interests in each other. I'm going to disagree, as I feel attraction is more of the desire for something. As in I could be attracted to a car I want, because I desire it. And I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have a sexual interest in my car. Yes, serious attraction definitely includes sexual interests, but that's long down the way, attraction doesn't have anything to do with sex.
Other than that, fantastic job, lots of information here that is very useful. 🤝
(Sep 18, 2015 10:16 PM)Fapple Wrote: Very good information, however I am going to point out in one of the first lines you stated attraction is when two people have sexual interests in each other. I'm going to disagree, as I feel attraction is more of the desire for something. As in I could be attracted to a car I want, because I desire it. And I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have a sexual interest in my car. Yes, serious attraction definitely includes sexual interests, but that's long down the way, attraction doesn't have anything to do with sex.
Other than that, fantastic job, lots of information here that is very useful. 🤝
(Sep 18, 2015 10:16 PM)Fapple Wrote: Very good information, however I am going to point out in one of the first lines you stated attraction is when two people have sexual interests in each other. I'm going to disagree, as I feel attraction is more of the desire for something. As in I could be attracted to a car I want, because I desire it. And I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have a sexual interest in my car. Yes, serious attraction definitely includes sexual interests, but that's long down the way, attraction doesn't have anything to do with sex.
Other than that, fantastic job, lots of information here that is very useful. 🤝
Pickup Artists refer to attraction as sparking interest and lust.
(Sep 18, 2015 09:56 PM)Year Wrote: You just made me realize so many mistakes , and right things I've done overall. This is FREE High Quality content! You should all be bowing down to Tomynho for all these gems we're being provided with! Kudos my good sir ! Thank you very much :-)
I'm glad to hear I've helped you. ✌
(Sep 18, 2015 03:38 PM)Fiery Wrote: Opening a girl is crucial, good shit m8
It is, yet, so many guys don't know how to do it properly. 😟
(Sep 18, 2015 10:16 PM)Fapple Wrote: Very good information, however I am going to point out in one of the first lines you stated attraction is when two people have sexual interests in each other. I'm going to disagree, as I feel attraction is more of the desire for something.
Of course, the term "attraction" is generally used, as well, but I was talking about sexual attraction here, I thought it was clear. ✌
Why would I teach you how to make your car attracted to you? 🤭
(Sep 19, 2015 05:25 AM)n1n3tyn1n3r Wrote: Could someone elaborate on the difference between funny and playful? Also , very nice thread, thanks for helping bros out
Funny:
Whiz Khalifa looks like a homeless woman, don't you think so?
Playful:
So you like Drake? How about you sing me some Drake songs in a dim lit room, although I doubt it won't go any further than just singing.
(Sep 19, 2015 05:25 AM)n1n3tyn1n3r Wrote: Could someone elaborate on the difference between funny and playful? Also , very nice thread, thanks for helping bros out
Funny is "haha". Playful is "haha, you're bad" *punches your arm*. 🤭
