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+---- Thread: [High School] Need help with the grammar in this assignment (/showthread.php?tid=5770619)
Need help with the grammar in this assignment - Recycle Bin. - Dec 18, 2017
Hello Hackforums.
I was wondering if any of you would be so kind to look at my abstract and correct the grammatical faults it may have?
English is not my strongest side, so it would be awesome if any of you could take a look at it.
it is not that long of a read, only 188 words.
Cheers to you whom will take a look at it.
Spoiler (Click to View)
RE: Need help with the grammar in this assignment - lil purpp - Dec 18, 2017
Cannabis has been an important crop for several thousand years, and with its many attributes, the plant has been indispensable in most cultures.
- Awkward sentence. You're using commas for breaks, which is not their purpose. Either reword this sentence into two separate thoughts or create a more cohesive thought. The part "Cannabis has been an important crop for several thousand years" is the root of this awkward sentence.
In the beginning of the 20th century, the plant was banned, due to numerous scare campaigns against the otherwise harmless plant.
- Comma abuse. Commas aren't breaks, they're grammatically necessary for a separation of ideas. The comma between "banned" and "due" is unnecessary and separates your thoughts.
Even 80 years later
- In a formal setting, you should spell out numbers that you can do so in two or fewer words. In this case, eighty is only one word.
the scare campaigns are rooted in the population, and the view on cannabis is hard to change
- Awkward phrase. The structure of "are rooted in the population" causes the awkwardness as well as the comma abuse in the sentence.
Through an analysis of the 1930s debate about the legalization of cannabis, it was revealed how big an influence the scare campaigns had on the ban on cannabis.
- Vague statement. You might want to include the name of the study/analysis in the text as well as a citation later on. That's a more general tip in technical writing (specifically for school) where you can cite almost anything that you put in your text no matter how redundant it is.
By examining various factors in the documentary, The Culture high, such as argumentation and mechanisms
- Names of films aren't separated by commas. They're instead italicized.
it is made clear
- "made clear" is informal and there are better options to make it more eloquently worded.
Overall, it's got a few minor mistakes/awkward sentences which is typical of any paper. I'd suggest rewording a few of the sentences I pointed out and reread it yourself for ambiguous nouns/phrases. For example, being specific with "the 30s" is more typical in formal writing. Saying 1930s is more formal than 30s.
RE: Need help with the grammar in this assignment - Recycle Bin. - Dec 18, 2017
(Dec 18, 2017 11:06 AM)lil purpp Wrote: Cannabis has been an important crop for several thousand years, and with its many attributes, the plant has been indispensable in most cultures.
- Awkward sentence. You're using commas for breaks, which is not their purpose. Either reword this sentence into two separate thoughts or create a more cohesive thought. The part "Cannabis has been an important crop for several thousand years" is the root of this awkward sentence.
In the beginning of the 20th century, the plant was banned, due to numerous scare campaigns against the otherwise harmless plant.
- Comma abuse. Commas aren't breaks, they're grammatically necessary for a separation of ideas. The comma between "banned" and "due" is unnecessary and separates your thoughts.
Even 80 years later
- In a formal setting, you should spell out numbers that you can do so in two or fewer words. In this case, eighty is only one word.
the scare campaigns are rooted in the population, and the view on cannabis is hard to change
- Awkward phrase. The structure of "are rooted in the population" causes the awkwardness as well as the comma abuse in the sentence.
Through an analysis of the 1930s debate about the legalization of cannabis, it was revealed how big an influence the scare campaigns had on the ban on cannabis.
- Vague statement. You might want to include the name of the study/analysis in the text as well as a citation later on. That's a more general tip in technical writing (specifically for school) where you can cite almost anything that you put in your text no matter how redundant it is.
By examining various factors in the documentary, The Culture high, such as argumentation and mechanisms
- Names of films aren't separated by commas. They're instead italicized.
it is made clear
- "made clear" is informal and there are better options to make it more eloquently worded.
Overall, it's got a few minor mistakes/awkward sentences which is typical of any paper. I'd suggest rewording a few of the sentences I pointed out and reread it yourself for ambiguous nouns/phrases. For example, being specific with "the 30s" is more typical in formal writing. Saying 1930s is more formal than 30s.
Thank you very much for taking the time to look at the paper mate! 🤝
RE: Need help with the grammar in this assignment - Atom™ - Dec 18, 2017
For future reference, you could use Grammarly.
What is Grammarly?
It's a free service that helps its users correct grammar mistakes and it does a pretty good job of it.
They've got Chrome & Firefox extensions that you can add to the browsers and the plugin will take care of the rest, as you type.