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+---- Thread: Lost All Confidence - Need Help / Tips (/showthread.php?tid=5806323)
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Lost All Confidence - Need Help / Tips - ExTRaCTz - Mar 1, 2018
I'm 21 years old, only been in 3 real relationships and been with 7 women sexually in total. After messing up in college and being forced to go back home ; over the past year I had started using Heroin, this in turn made me isolate completely. I lost all self confidence and sex drive at all. Since I had gotten clean from opiates I've only talked to one girl. Which is a girl that I dated way back in 7th grade and did nothing with. We reunited after a close friend passed away and began talking / hanging out as much as possible. She would sleep over a few days a week and still we only had sex once because I'm just a pussy and I'm awful at reading women. Just the fact that she was sleeping over, staying in the same bed should have been enough for me to realize that she most likely wanted to as well. Eventually things just kind of faded between us although we still keep in touch occasionally. I'm now living in a Sober Living apartment in the city and am trying to find just anybody honestly. It's been months since my last hookup and I honest feel like its never going to happen again. I can't even get matches on [BRAND NAME REMOVED] or Bumble which honestly is just killing me inside. It's really sad knowing I'm that ugly that I cannot even find a hook up on the easiest social media app for that. I really do not know what to do; I've lost all confidence and don't even know how to talk to women at this point. I've always been shy and unable to read women. And honestly have only ever hooked up with 2 girls while being sober. The rest was all drinking. Thats the only time I truly feel like I can read women and act upon what I'm feeling inside. I've got literally nobody as I have cut most people off. If anybody has some tips on how I can fix my situation, it would be much appreciated.
* Sorry for the long rant guys
RE: Lost All Confidence - Need Help / Tips - Theocritus - Mar 1, 2018
hmmm if you are desperate for a match, have you considered Grindr? Kappa
RE: Lost All Confidence - Need Help / Tips - spradebassen - Mar 1, 2018
Life is not only about sex and being swiped on [BRAND NAME REMOVED], it is also being with people, who has a positive effect on your mood and daily day.
If my confidence were to be influenced by [BRAND NAME REMOVED]-swipes I'd be going nuts long term-wise.
RE: Lost All Confidence - Need Help / Tips - Theocritus - Mar 1, 2018
(Mar 1, 2018 02:27 PM)dickbreath Wrote: Life is not only about sex and being swiped on [BRAND NAME REMOVED], it is also being with people, who has a positive effect on your mood and daily day.
If my confidence were to be influenced by [BRAND NAME REMOVED]-swipes I'd be going nuts long term-wise.
if my life was going to revolve around [BRAND NAME REMOVED] i would as well go insane lol
RE: Lost All Confidence - Need Help / Tips - spradebassen - Mar 1, 2018
(Mar 1, 2018 02:29 PM)Theocritus Wrote: if my life was going to revolve around [BRAND NAME REMOVED] i would as well go insane lol
I'm actually surprised on how this can influence people.. Holy shit.. People shouldn't care what other people (who you don't even know (and probably never will)) think about you.
I only think about what the closest people around me think, otherwise I have the ability to do what suit myself.
RE: Lost All Confidence - Need Help / Tips - Elitas - Mar 1, 2018
There are plenty of great social media apps which can allow you to engage with some new people. And I'm not talking about Grindr. -.-
RE: Lost All Confidence - Need Help / Tips - Y3LI0NZ - Mar 1, 2018
I think this, I don't give a shit what people think of me. Where people start crying over someone says about them I'm like, "are you having a fucking laugh lol"
I just don't get why it puts you down.
But that's just how I workol
RE: Lost All Confidence - Need Help / Tips - spradebassen - Mar 1, 2018
(Mar 1, 2018 02:33 PM)Y3LI0NZ Wrote: I think this, I don't give a shit what people think of me. Where people start crying over someone says about them I'm like, "are you having a fucking laugh lol"
I just don't get why it puts you down.
But that's just how I workol
No matter how much people try to have this "facade" about not caring what other people think, they do.
RE: Lost All Confidence - Need Help / Tips - Theocritus - Mar 1, 2018
(Mar 1, 2018 02:34 PM)dickbreath Wrote: No matter how much people try to have this "facade" about not caring what other people think, they do.
some people do some people dont. personally i will say that i literally could not give a single shit what people think about me. plenty of people dont like me or think im weird of whatever, doesnt bother me in the slightest
RE: Lost All Confidence - Need Help / Tips - Elitas - Mar 1, 2018
(Mar 1, 2018 02:34 PM)dickbreath Wrote: No matter how much people try to have this "facade" about not caring what other people think, they do.
Yeah, I strongly believe that people who act like that really do care. I used to have that attitude, but then I realized that people had that attitude to impress others, meaning, they genuinely did care...
RE: Lost All Confidence - Need Help / Tips - Theocritus - Mar 1, 2018
(Mar 1, 2018 02:38 PM)Elitas Wrote: Yeah, I strongly believe that people who act like that really do care. I used to have that attitude, but then I realized that people had that attitude to impress others, meaning, they genuinely did care...
so saying you dont care means you care? hmmm this society is more complex than i thought lmao
RE: Lost All Confidence - Need Help / Tips - Y3LI0NZ - Mar 1, 2018
(Mar 1, 2018 02:38 PM)Elitas Wrote: Yeah, I strongly believe that people who act like that really do care. I used to have that attitude, but then I realized that people had that attitude to impress others, meaning, they genuinely did care...
I probably do care just doesn't hit me is all, I don't do anything differently or change if I get abuse.
RE: Lost All Confidence - Need Help / Tips - SysAdmin - Mar 1, 2018
Nearly 22, been in one serious relationship and had sex with one girl (The current relationship) because I was saving myself for the real deal.
Not sure why you're depressed about that.
RE: Lost All Confidence - Need Help / Tips - Elitas - Mar 1, 2018
(Mar 1, 2018 02:39 PM)Theocritus Wrote: so saying you dont care means you care? hmmm this society is more complex than i thought lmao
Yep, basically by publicly announcing it, you're only doing that to make people think highly of you. You therefore, obviously care what people think of you..
RE: Lost All Confidence - Need Help / Tips - ExTRaCTz - Mar 1, 2018
(Mar 1, 2018 02:52 PM)SysAdmin Wrote: Nearly 22, been in one serious relationship and had sex with one girl (The current relationship) because I was saving myself for the real deal.
Not sure why you're depressed about that.
I guess I'm more or less just depressed at the fact that I really do not have anybody. Friendships & Relationships.
(Mar 1, 2018 02:27 PM)dickbreath Wrote: Life is not only about sex and being swiped on [BRAND NAME REMOVED], it is also being with people, who has a positive effect on your mood and daily day.
If my confidence were to be influenced by [BRAND NAME REMOVED]-swipes I'd be going nuts long term-wise.
It's not that its what my life evolves around its more just the fact that I literally have nobody at all. Friends or Relationships. But you're totally right. I shouldn't look at an app as a way to feel better about myself, but for me its much easier said than done lol. Thank you for the reply.