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+---- Thread: I found out my brother was adopted... But he doesn't know. (/showthread.php?tid=6025334)
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I found out my brother was adopted... But he doesn't know. - Condasoft - Nov 15, 2019
Last week I began creating a family tree and I was searching online using ancestry.co.uk every body else in my families search was returning documents i.e. census results, birth certificates etc except his.
I decided to do a little digging through my mothers photographs, turns out there were a lot of pictures of me and my other two sisters but none from when my brother would have been 'just born' furthermore my mother saved all of our umbilical cords but not his, I thought to myself this can't just be coinsidence.
There wasn't really an easy way to do it but I decided to ask my mother if he was adopted or something, turns out he was. My mother doesn't want me to tell him she says it will crush him and break her heart but I don't know what to do I feel like I am keeping a secret from him and I know I'm going to feel uncomfortable around him knowing something so personal about himself that he doesn't know himself.
What would you do?
RE: I found out my brother was adopted... But he doesn't know. - Natas - Nov 15, 2019
Hes your brother man .
If he was raised with you hes your brother.
Im not sure your guys age, but I personally would let it be and respect your mothers wishes.
RE: I found out my brother was adopted... But he doesn't know. - Condasoft - Nov 15, 2019
(Nov 15, 2019 07:17 PM)Natas Wrote: Hes your brother man .
If he was raised with you hes your brother.
Im not sure your guys age, but I personally would let it be and respect your mothers wishes.
I'm 28 he's 2 years my senior.
RE: I found out my brother was adopted... But he doesn't know. - Natas - Nov 15, 2019
I mean I guess if I were you id wait for others input but I personally would let it be.
I got some friends that are closer to me then brothers, It really should be your parents to tell him
in my opinion.
See what
BTC
@Fooligan@ oops I mean Cooligan
And flavoral and DNA have to say
there smart guys.
RE: I found out my brother was adopted... But he doesn't know. - KrazyHigh - Nov 15, 2019
Not really fair that y’all are keeping it a secret he deserves to know
RE: I found out my brother was adopted... But he doesn't know. - Condasoft - Nov 15, 2019
(Nov 15, 2019 07:20 PM)Natas Wrote: I mean I guess if I were you id wait for others input but I personally would let it be.
I got some friends that are closer to me then brothers, It really should be your parents to tell him
in my opinion.
See what
BTC
@Fooligan@ oops I mean Cooligan
And flavoral and DNA have to say
there smart guys.
My mother isn't that type of person she hates any type of confrontation.
RE: I found out my brother was adopted... But he doesn't know. - Natas - Nov 15, 2019
(Nov 15, 2019 07:29 PM)Condasoft Wrote: My mother isn't that type of person she hates any type of confrontation.
Im honestly baked af right now.
I guess think about if you were in your brothers shoes and your lifes were swapped.
What would you want him to do
RE: I found out my brother was adopted... But he doesn't know. - Ravioli - Nov 15, 2019
Blood or not.. this man is your brother.
RE: I found out my brother was adopted... But he doesn't know. - StarZ - Nov 15, 2019
Snitches get stitches... Keep it under wraps..
RE: I found out my brother was adopted... But he doesn't know. - Ravioli - Nov 15, 2019
(Nov 15, 2019 07:39 PM)StarZ Wrote: Snitches get stitches... Keep it under wraps..yeah don't tell him
it could really traumatize him
plus who gives a fuck it's literally your brother. blood doesn't matter
RE: I found out my brother was adopted... But he doesn't know. - Temp_reassign - Nov 15, 2019
You such a nice guy OP you should go ahead and tell(against your mom's wish). Look at you. Already acting differently around him. Imagine what he'd do or how he'd act once that comes to his knowledge. It's your home, you can break it if you so wish.
RE: I found out my brother was adopted... But he doesn't know. - BTC - Nov 15, 2019
Regardless, at the end of the day he is your brother.
I would personally tell him if I found that out about one of my brothers.
The way I see it, is if you were in his position and it was switched, would you want him to tell you or keep it a secret? I would want to know, therefore I would not keep it a secret.
RE: I found out my brother was adopted... But he doesn't know. - DNA - Nov 15, 2019
My advice is do your own research, ancestry doesn't know sh!t.
I backtracked 11 generations by calling libraries and such
Ancestry is not useful
RE: I found out my brother was adopted... But he doesn't know. - Sly Cooper - Nov 15, 2019
Not telling you what to do but I'm a grown ass man and I would want to know.
RE: I found out my brother was adopted... But he doesn't know. - Game - Nov 15, 2019
Honestly, I’d just keep it to yourself for now. He’s still your brother as you were raised together.
My brother is also adopted and I know once he’s older it would break his heart to find out we’re not blood brothers. (We are cousins by blood though. Basically my parents adopted my cousin because his parents weren’t medically “fit” to look after him and it was either that or he would end up in the childcare system..)
Let him find out himself or your parents tell him, it’s not your place to do so tbh.
Good luck with this though, I know it can be stressful. Best advice I can give is to let it go and not think about it.