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+---- Thread: I've lost a friend today (/showthread.php?tid=6070911)
I've lost a friend today - Herbert - Apr 24, 2020
I woke up today to a message of a friend, that I thought was ghosting me.
I was expecting to hear an excuse like "Hey, I was busy working" or "Hey, I didn't have wifi/data."
The message was sent by his mother, telling me that he had passed away in January.
At first, I was skeptical about the legitimacy of it as some people like to sadistically joke about these things. But as we talked and the more research I did, I realized how real the situation was. His last activity was on the 9th of January. I've been messaging him throughout the last couple of months and heard nothing back, not even on his birthday. I didn't try to think anything of it. I was just hoping that he just needed a break. I was wrong, he took his own life.
I just wish I could've done something different, what if I realized sooner, that he was taking his own life?
I wish I could do it again and be a better friend.
I'm constantly blaming myself. I'm left with so many questions.
You never know what a person is going through, but you can do your best to prevent it, everything you do in life has consequences.
If you ever have suicidal tendencies or find yourself in a dark place, please call someone, talk about your problems, don't bottle it up inside.
Your life is more valuable than you think, even though it seems like time stands still sometimes, whether you're in trouble, or you've lost something close to you.
Whatever it is that's troubling you. Just know that in time things will get better, even if it doesn't look like it now.
RE: I've lost a friend today - Ash Ketchum - Apr 24, 2020
Usually i would troll these posts because i'm a sadistic self-hating c unt.
But i like you, so i'm sorry for your loss i have lost many friends and family to suicide so i can relate to this situation.
My pms are open if you need someone to speak with herbert.
RE: I've lost a friend today - transgenderisgood - Apr 24, 2020
(Apr 24, 2020 07:01 AM)Herbert Wrote: I woke up today to a message of a friend, that I thought was ghosting me.
I was expecting to hear an excuse like "Hey, I was busy working" or "Hey, I didn't have wifi/data."
The message was sent by his mother, telling me that he had passed away in January.
At first, I was skeptical about the legitimacy of it as some people like to sadistically joke about these things. But as we talked and the more research I did, I realized how real the situation was. His last activity was on the 9th of January. I've been messaging him throughout the last couple of months and heard nothing back, not even on his birthday. I didn't try to think anything of it. I was just hoping that he just needed a break. I was wrong, he took his own life.
I just wish I could've done something different, what if I realized sooner, that he was taking his own life?
I wish I could do it again and be a better friend.
I'm constantly blaming myself. I'm left with so many questions.
You never know what a person is going through, but you can do your best to prevent it, everything you do in life has consequences.
If you ever have suicidal tendencies or find yourself in a dark place, please call someone, talk about your problems, don't bottle it up inside.
Your life is more valuable than you think, even though it seems like time stands still sometimes, whether you're in trouble, or you've lost something close to you.
Whatever it is that's troubling you. Just know that in time things will get better, even if it doesn't look like it now.
oh, I thought he passed from corona
that said, poor friend, i hope he will have great afterlife in heaven
dont blame yourself man! its the SOCIETY at fault! were all taught to be masculine and thats why stuff like this happens
RE: I've lost a friend today - Perileos - Apr 24, 2020
Don't blame yourself, I know it's difficult but it's not your mistake.
If you need someone to talk to, hit me up. Recently lost 3 relatives in 1 week so I know what you feel like.
RE: I've lost a friend today - Yin Yang - Apr 24, 2020
I’m sorry for your loss, but don’t beat yourself up too much- you didn’t know.
RE: I've lost a friend today - hugh janus - Apr 24, 2020
I'm really sorry to hear about this, it's always really hard to lose a friend, especially in such a dismal way. I don't think that you should have any guilt in your heart, because it was their choice and full conscious decision. My only word of advice would be to always check in on your friends, and make a conscious effort for 2-3 minutes a day to actually see how they are doing, because it's a small investment that will pay off well. Show others around you that you genuinely care about them (past all the surface level stuff) and it will mean a lot. (I'm in no way saying that you didn't do this) But again, you have my condolences.
RE: I've lost a friend today - SourceCode101 - Apr 24, 2020
sorry for your lost Op
its the same, the words we didnt told to ppl who passed away...
is same story all the time...
RE: I've lost a friend today - Exposed74 - Apr 24, 2020
You probably could not have handled it differently. You might remember some "obvious" indirect call for help, but if he never really talked about it there was no way for you to see that.
You can only learn going forward, and you may treatother friends differently now (not that I know how you are with your friends), with less superficiality and much more interest in them. But don't blame yourself for what happened to this friend. You will miss him, but you have to go forward
RE: I've lost a friend today - Boil - Apr 24, 2020
Do you even know why he took his life? I'm so sorry for your loss.
RE: I've lost a friend today - Sick - Apr 24, 2020
Sorry for your loss mate . Don't be thinking any ifs or buts there is nothing you could have probably done mate
I'm just a message away mate if you need a chat anytime and you know that
Try keep your chin up ok
RE: I've lost a friend today - Athr - Apr 24, 2020
Don't blame yourself. We can't read what's going on inside someone's head. I hope your friend's close ones recover from this loss.
RE: I've lost a friend today - 123 - Apr 24, 2020
One can only think what he was going through to take such a step.
Sorry for your loss mate. Hope his soul rest in peace.
RE: I've lost a friend today - crixus - Apr 24, 2020
sorry to hear aboout your friend. I have ex girl friend as well last activity few months ago and try to reach her too much.
hope she didn't suicide.
this happen to me in the past when I message my friend and a lot and he didn't answer and just after a while his borther message me tell me he suciide.
this was hard to accept.
RE: I've lost a friend today - shitmaster - Apr 24, 2020
Hey buddy. This must be a difficult time for you. I know how bad it feels. I lost my mum in January too. And I blame myself everyday for not being a good son. I slowly realised that I'm not as bad a son I think I am. Hence I am sure you are not as bad a friend you think you are.
When and how someone dies is out of our control. All we can do is keep ourselves strong. Enjoy what we have left as we will go to someday.
And yes. For people looking to commit suicide. Think of alternatives. Think of how it'll affect others. Try to see a psychiatrist first. Or speak to Befrienders. There is no easy way out.
Anyway you take care of yourself OP and not blame yourself!
RE: I've lost a friend today - a11s - Apr 24, 2020
I'm sorry for your loss. But trust me, don't blame yourself.
I was suicidal in the past and almost overdosed on the pills my psychiatrists gave me. But at no point I was blaming it on anyone.
I don't know how to say this to not sound... bad... but it's likely you couldn't do that much about it.
Depression is a bitch and it often doesn't have any reason attached to it.
One could have the perfect life and still suffer from severe depression, and most often than not in actuality you can't do anything about it.
If I killed myself right then and there, I wouldn't want anyone to feel guilty for it, and I believe your friend didn't want you to blame yourself.