BMW 5 series, codename E39. It's a future classic and according to many last generation of BMWs that can be considered a BMW. Last true series includes along with E39 models such as E38 (7 Series) and E46 (3 series). It has that dangerous, badass look. Also M5 E39 didn't have a proper competitor, W210 E55 AMG, Jaguar XJR and Audi RS 6 were, according to many reviews and enthusiasts far behind the actual M5. Only thing that stops me to buy one now is insanely high registration rate for an old car. Hopefully I'll get one of those fine BMW's inline sixes because without inline six or higher, BMW isn't a BMW. 😎
![[Image: bmw-528-01.jpg]](https://betterparts.org/images/bmw-528-01.jpg)
![[Image: 14438913268_e9ce8be385_b.jpg]](https://farm4.staticflickr.com/3853/14438913268_e9ce8be385_b.jpg)
![[Image: BMW-E39-5-Series-2001-7.jpg]](https://res.cloudinary.com/carsguide/image/upload/f_auto,fl_lossy,q_auto,t_cg_hero_large/v1/editorial/dp/albums/album-1063/lg/BMW-E39-5-Series-2001-7.jpg)
Favorite mod - exhaust mods. With good exhaust you can make a 100 horsepower car to sound awesome, almost as a v6.
Joke? A few of them - some might be inappropriate - reader discretion is advised!
Phone conversation in a firm:
- Hello.
- What the fuck do you want?
- Do you know who you're talking to, this is your CEO?
- Do you know who you're talking to?
- No...!?
- Then go fuck yourself.
Joe was really depressed. In his heads two voices were echoing. First voice said:
Joe, you don't need to be depressed, that was just sex without emotions. Look, you aren't the first nor the last doctor that had sex with his patients, relax man.
Second voice reminded him: Joe, you're a veterinarian.
A kid comes to the barber shop and the barber says to his customer - "look, I'm going to show you the dumbest kid in the world. Kid, come here!" Kid comes and barber puts $20 bill in one hand and $100 bill in other hand, reaches to kid and says - "choose one you'd want to have". Kid chooses $20 and leaves the shop. Afterwards, the customer finds the kid and asks him why did the take the smaller bill. The kids says: "When I take the larger one, the game is over".
Two smugglers, Joe and Don, were trying to smuggle a rare and expensive squirrel across the border. In order to hide the squirrel from border patrol, Joe put squirrel in his underwear. After they've passed the border successfully, Joe pulls out squirrel from his pants, breaks its neck, jumps on it and throws it away 40 meters.
Horrified, Don asks Joe: Why the fuck did you do that man? There goes our $50000.
Joe: Don, when squirrel thought that my penis is a branch and started swinging on it, I endured. When squirrel thought my balls were walnuts and tried to crack them, I endured. When squirrel thought my ass is a tree hole and tried to get in, I endured.
Don: So what didn't you endure?
Joe: When she started pulling walnuts into tree hole.
Staff member 10th Jan 2017 - 30th May 2020.
HF Administrator 30th May 2020 - 14th July 2022.
It was a blast being on staff. I stepped down as it's time for me to move on. I wish you all the best and if you were hit by my warnings and/or bans, it was nothing personal.
Peace out!
(Sep 25, 2017 02:03 PM)Eagle 95 Wrote: BMW 5 series, codename E39. It's a future classic and according to many last generation of BMWs that can be considered a BMW. Last true series includes along with E39 models such as E38 (7 Series) and E46 (3 series). It has that dangerous, badass look. Also M5 E39 didn't have a proper competitor, W210 E55 AMG, Jaguar XJR and Audi RS 6 were, according to many reviews and enthusiasts far behind the actual M5. Only thing that stops me to buy one now is insanely high registration rate for an old car. Hopefully I'll get one of those fine BMW's inline sixes because without inline six or higher, BMW isn't a BMW. 😎
Favorite mod - exhaust mods. With good exhaust you can make a 100 horsepower car to sound awesome, almost as a v6.
Joke? A few of them - some might be inappropriate - reader discretion is advised!
Phone conversation in a firm:
- Hello.
- What the fuck do you want?
- Do you know who you're talking to, this is your CEO?
- Do you know who you're talking to?
- No...!?
- Then go fuck yourself.
Joe was really depressed. In his heads two voices were echoing. First voice said:
Joe, you don't need to be depressed, that was just sex without emotions. Look, you aren't the first nor the last doctor that had sex with his patients, relax man.
Second voice reminded him: Joe, you're a veterinarian.
A kid comes to the barber shop and the barber says to his customer - "look, I'm going to show you the dumbest kid in the world. Kid, come here!" Kid comes and barber puts $20 bill in one hand and $100 bill in other hand, reaches to kid and says - "choose one you'd want to have". Kid chooses $20 and leaves the shop. Afterwards, the customer finds the kid and asks him why did the take the smaller bill. The kids says: "When I take the larger one, the game is over".
Two smugglers, Joe and Don, were trying to smuggle a rare and expensive squirrel across the border. In order to hide the squirrel from border patrol, Joe put squirrel in his underwear. After they've passed the border successfully, Joe pulls out squirrel from his pants, breaks its neck, jumps on it and throws it away 40 meters.
Horrified, Don asks Joe: Why the fuck did you do that man? There goes our $50000.
Joe: Don, when squirrel thought that my penis is a branch and started swinging on it, I endured. When squirrel thought my balls were walnuts and tried to crack them, I endured. When squirrel thought my ass is a tree hole and tried to get in, I endured.
Don: So what didn't you endure?
Joe: When she started pulling walnuts into tree hole.
The classic look is always nice but what are those funny looking two pedals and that weird looking shift stick in the middle? 🤣
Those jokes actually made me laugh a little, except the second last one. I didn't quite get it/missed the funny part.
My favorite car is the Koenigsegg Regera because it’s one of the top 10 most expensive car and it looks like the most appealing car in my point of view.
Picture of the car:
http://www.topcarrating.com/2017-koenigsegg-regera.php
My favorite car mod would be adding High-Flow Exhaust which would relieve pressure on the engine and can return a little bump in horsepower as well.
What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians?
One hundred people who don't do dick.
Good luck to all. Thanks for doing this!
(Sep 25, 2017 03:47 PM)MrShakoz Wrote: My favorite car is the Koenigsegg Regera because it’s one of the top 10 most expensive car and it looks like the most appealing car in my point of view.
Picture of the car:
http://www.topcarrating.com/2017-koenigsegg-regera.php
My favorite car mod would be adding High-Flow Exhaust which would relieve pressure on the engine and can return a little bump in horsepower as well.
What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians?
One hundred people who don't do dick.
Good luck to all. Thanks for doing this!
Nice car.
This post automatically loses because you’re making fun of lawyers and I am one! 🤣
My current dream car would be anything from the Skyline Family yes cliché but of course the R34 is a absolute beast even stock RB26DETT 2.6 I6 twin Turbo (Manual of course) is a monster boasting easily 276 HP but with a little bit of tinkering she easily a car of Gold and Straight beauty making well over 500+ HP
with a some helping Mods with a Tune, downpiping, exhaust, intake manifolds, suspension, better intercooler, just some easy things to get started with get her running strong and fast as fuck boi
One day it is my plan to own one once they're legal in America
![[Image: R34_GTR_import_price_5_small.jpg]](https://image.ibb.co/nGDUik/R34_GTR_import_price_5_small.jpg)
(Sep 25, 2017 05:05 PM)Peter Wrote: Nice car.
This post automatically loses because you’re making fun of lawyers and I am one! 🤣
Aw darn, alright well thanks for doing this anyways. 🤝
(Sep 25, 2017 08:37 PM)MrShakoz Wrote: Aw darn, alright well thanks for doing this anyways. 🤝
I was only joking around mate. 👍
Awesome giveaway you're doing here homie. Best of luck to everyone who enters.
(Sep 25, 2017 02:13 PM)Peter Wrote: The classic look is always nice but what are those funny looking two pedals and that weird looking shift stick in the middle? 🤣
Those jokes actually made me laugh a little, except the second last one. I didn't quite get it/missed the funny part.
It's quite hard to find 530i or d and almost impossible to find 540i as a manual in mint conditions, especially today. 😟
Staff member 10th Jan 2017 - 30th May 2020.
HF Administrator 30th May 2020 - 14th July 2022.
It was a blast being on staff. I stepped down as it's time for me to move on. I wish you all the best and if you were hit by my warnings and/or bans, it was nothing personal.
Peace out!
My favourite of all time is a '68 Chev.
Although I'm gonna give the spotlight to the Subaru Forrester. There's no more practical car in my opinion. An AWD sports wagon with a boxer engine? I've owned 3, 2 which surpassed 300,000kms on the odometer (almost 200,000 miles) effortlessly. The third I'm still driving @ 165,000kms.
The forrester is a good pick for campers, snow-goers, surfers, with Roof racks & a tow bar for trailers. The boot's large enough for a matress given the back seats are folded down. Even if you intend to use this vehicle for city driving, it will accelerate with ease up hill & having a 2.5ltr engine is quite efficient on fuel.
One downside of the forrester is that Subaru use a dual-mas clutch, consisting of plastic parts. An ameture learning to drive manual-transmission in a Subaru is risking burning out the clutch much faster than with other manufacturers.
I hope you enjoyed reading this OP, and I hope I've inspired at least one reader to buy this awesome car!
Good luck everybody. :)
Tell us what your favourite car is and why (show us a picture to while you're at it);
Cadillac Escalade Black. I like this car because it makes me feel empowered in a way.
Tell us a funny joke (10 points if I actually laugh):
Cat: pack of cigs please
Cashier: u sure u wanna waste one of your 9 lives on cigarettes? Haha
Cat: ur wasting the only life you have in a box
Cashier: holding back tears cash or credit?
Friend: did you watch the video i sent you?
Me: yes
Friend: what was your favorite part?
Me: yes
check comes
Me: girl i got this waiter returns minutes later
Waiter: sir, this is an expired gym membership
Me: Run it again
HS teacher: (setting up projector)
I hope you're ready for some notes
College professor: (setting up projector)
Lion King or Toy story?
(eye exam)
Doctor: Now tell me what you see
Her: A virgin in his 40s
Doctor: Ok get out
(Kanye goes to the food court with KimK)
Cashier: Any drinks?
Kanye: A coke for the most beautiful person on this earth
Cashier: Awwwwww
Kanye: And Kim will have a water
what do you get when you put pet and er together?
PETER
(Sep 26, 2017 05:10 PM)Killy Wrote: what do you get when you put pet and er together?
PETER
Great joke. 🙃
I will be picking the first lot of people shortly. Get your submissions in.
I'll be picking people tomorrow for the first wave. Get more posts in.
Oct 1, 2017 03:57 AM
(This post was last modified: Oct 1, 2017 03:58 AM by Noтorious.)
Surely there should be more entries to this!? People aren’t interested in freebies!! 🤦♂
We roll in, they roll out.
|
![[Image: yiynKi.gif]](https://vgy.me/yiynKi.gif)