Dec 26, 2017 05:58 AM (This post was last modified: Dec 26, 2017 06:06 AM by Klout.)
I'm 20 years old and i don't know who i am and what kind of person i want to become.
Had shitty childhood filled with depression and no love at all, i feel like i can't define myself and can't create my character and personality.
I don't like circles around me really that much so i don't really fit into anything here and don't hang out with too many people, it's all about doing drugs after their 9 to 5 jobs to them, no ambitions at all.
ye im basically in the same boat as you. word for word, ive been trying to say something constructive to this but honestly i have no idea, could be the fact is 6 am and i havent slept, but i got no idea what kind of person i might be, ive tried getting myself out there and trying to hang out with friends and stuff and of course that sounds like fun to most, dont find a real reason to do so, i went through this thing a couple months ago where i closed myself completely off from society, lost my job and never left my house unless it was to buy food, got kicked out and moved in with my parents, met a girl who ended up killing herself and that made me even more lost (google Holden alberta train, you will find something on it) and now im just in this state of i have no idea what im doing anymore, im starting to kind of recover and hang out with friends, but hopefully when i find some more confidence in myself ill go out again with friends and try and fix my life, because right now im growing up to be something i dont want to be, even when i dont know who i want to be yet, this might be completely off topic than what you actually were trying to say but im way too frickin tired to even know, which means its time for me to go to bed
(Dec 26, 2017 06:30 AM)explodinx Wrote: ye im basically in the same boat as you. word for word, ive been trying to say something constructive to this but honestly i have no idea, could be the fact is 6 am and i havent slept, but i got no idea what kind of person i might be, ive tried getting myself out there and trying to hang out with friends and stuff and of course that sounds like fun to most, dont find a real reason to do so, i went through this thing a couple months ago where i closed myself completely off from society, lost my job and never left my house unless it was to buy food, got kicked out and moved in with my parents, met a girl who ended up killing herself and that made me even more lost (google Holden alberta train, you will find something on it) and now im just in this state of i have no idea what im doing anymore, im starting to kind of recover and hang out with friends, but hopefully when i find some more confidence in myself ill go out again with friends and try and fix my life, because right now im growing up to be something i dont want to be, even when i dont know who i want to be yet, this might be completely off topic than what you actually were trying to say but im way too frickin tired to even know, which means its time for me to go to bed
Sorry to hear that, that is horrible man, i can't even imagine how it feels to lose someone like that, hope you get better.
I always felt like i was born on the wrong continent/in the wrong country. I just can't fit here and will probably start to travel often with a friend i got.
I feel no worth in myself and no love towards myself as a person or anyone else. I grew up with nobody teaching me how to express emotions and that weight is pulling me down now, that's why i lost my girlfriend actually, cause i'm a shitty person.
It's like life tied this giant piece of weight to my leg and threw me in the ocean to drown and i didn't do shit to anyone and i feel like i don't deserve this.
I never wanted to be this way and rn i'm completely lost and just want someone to tell me what to do.
(Dec 26, 2017 07:01 AM)Klout Wrote: Sorry to hear that, that is horrible man, i can't even imagine how it feels to lose someone like that, hope you get better.
I always felt like i was born on the wrong continent/in the wrong country. I just can't fit here and will probably start to travel often with a friend i got.
I feel no worth in myself and no love towards myself as a person or anyone else. I grew up with nobody teaching me how to express emotions and that weight is pulling me down now, that's why i lost my girlfriend actually, cause i'm a shitty person.
It's like life tied this giant piece of weight to my leg and threw me in the ocean to drown and i didn't do shit to anyone and i feel like i don't deserve this.
I never wanted to be this way and rn i'm completely lost and just want someone to tell me what to do.
when i get 25 posts ill be sure to dm you, because im going through the same shit right now, good to know theres someone else who knows what im going through
For some reason, I'm still looking for an answer online, even when I know the sole answer to all of these problems lies inside of ME. WE are the only ones that can change our lives around, but I guess we're scared of the change, and can't bring ourselves to do so.
Hopefully one day I will be truly happy, with happy people surrounding me.
(Dec 26, 2017 07:01 AM)Klout Wrote: I always felt like i was born on the wrong continent/in the wrong country. I just can't fit here and will probably start to travel often with a friend i got.
Also, I always though that I would be happier living in the UK.
This is not true at all. I spent 80% of my life wanting to move out and go to school in the UK and now I hate it here.
I feel like i'm wasting my time living, i'm 20 and never traveled anywhere, never had any real fun and friends, never had a good life.
I feel like i need to live but i just can't i'm stuck here in this bitch ass parents house, i'm just staring at myself in the mirror and asking why me, i didn't do anything wrong..
I can see it on my face that i'm just tired from stress and shit around me, all the toxic people that i need to live with and all the failures from my life.
I never invested any money into myself, like health or looks, everything i had i blew it on alcohol and weed with fake friends, plus my family is broke thanks god that i'm working as a freelancer and i don't have any clue how the hell i landed that job but i'm grateful asf for that even if it's a low paying job.
I have so many ambitions but i never focus on one thing, just jump from one to another just like that...
So random thread but i suck at life and i need help but don't know what to do, i just want to be a normal guy..
The thing is, you're not supposed to know who you are. You're just supposed to be doing what feels right in the moment and let those actions dictate who you're becoming. Don't force yourself to become someone you think you're supposed to be when in reality you can just live by whatever each moment makes you. Theres not many people who knew who they "are" and kept that plan while living a happy life.
You're ONLY 20 years old. There are still sex positions for you to figure out. Life is one hell of a long journey, or short.
The one advice I can give you is don't give up. That's the easiest thing to do and easy things won't really help you progress.
bro, your 20s is all about trying to figure out who tf you are in society. give it time, find new hobbies. for me, i painted with a friend on a whim as just some random thing to do while we were bored getting stoned and i personally found it so soothing. you'll know when you hit a breakout point. you'll view life in a different perspective once again.
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