[oscarzxyz]

it's time for you to get some help! I am here if u need anything ;)

[Cifer7]

good you found that out with 20 years.
im still fighting.

[❤️BowmanBot❤️]

I have a couple of notes for you read through them, trust me it think you'll be able to understand yourself better.

A person is nothing but their memories, past events and future actions. But how does one decide what they are. "Do I fit in with this group? No. How about this one. No Ok maybe this one." It goes on and on and on. The best part about what makes you "you" is that you are different.

But what does make you "you"? That is a question many people have asked themselves time and time over again. Almost everyone, including myself, have felt this way at least once in their life. It is better to ask to now as it can make for a very troublesome mid-life crisis. So let's break it down.

Personality

Are you an optimist? Do you see the glass half full or half empty? How do you interact with people? Are you a fun person to be around? Are you adventurous? Are you a nervous person? Do you get high on life? 

What makes your personality is thousands of different questions like these. Your personality is how you interact with the world around you. Some people how a great personality and some can be better. Knowing where you stand can allow yourself to improve your personality and become a better person overall. 

Interests

Do you enjoy sports? Do you like woodworking? Do you enjoy being around people with the same overall mentality. Do you like to watch action movies, drama or comedy? Do you enjoy going for walks? Do you enjoy being around nature. Do you like video games.

If you find yourself with no interests you just have to be more adventurous, more outgoing. Just try something you never know if you like it or not until you try it. It sounds cheesy but your interests make you interesting, the less popular the better. It also allows you to communicate better. You will find people who share the same interests as you and they will usually have to same outlook on life as you. 

Your Past and Memories

Even if your childhood and/or teenage years were shit that doesn't mean the rest of you life will be. Usually people with a lot of shitty experiences under their belt are better off in life as the little things tend to bug them less. Having this kind of past also gives you a set of morals, ambitions and goals. If your father beat you, you will go out of your way to be an amazing father. If someone close to passed away you will know to hold the ones you love closer and treat them better. If you family had no money you will want to succeed in life to be able to give a better life for your children.

Morals

Morals is an essential part to what makes you "you". It ties in closely with your past as your past will dictate how you feel about different situations. Does a murder deserve to die or does he deserve to spend his life repenting. Is it right for children to die of hunger. Is it ok to take $100 dollars out of a wallet that was left on the ground. Is it right to rob a store. What if he is trying to feed his family. You will realize not everything is black and white, morals will help you guide your way through the grey areas. Morals make you think about what is right and wrong and will dictate how you live your life.

Goals and Ambitions

Your ambitions are what you strive for in life. Do you want to be successful? Do you want to be wealthy. Do you want to travel the world. Do you want get married and have kids. Do you want to have a lot of friends. Do you want to drive a nice car. Ambitions should be set on idealistic ideas rather than materialistic. If you want to drive that $200 000 you need to have to money to be able to buy it without going into debt. Setting your ambition to be successful will allow you to buy any materialistic dream you want to achieve. 

Goals are how you achieve your ambitions. If you want to be successful you need to go to school and finish with a nice degree. You need to get a job. You need to work hard and you will get there. If you want a family you will need to be more social, meet some girls or guys. You will need to have enough money to be able to support them. If you want a lot of friends, you will need to talk to people who have similar interests.

Failures

Failures should never be thought of as a reason to quit. With every failure comes an opportunity to learn from you mistakes. If you lose a job you need to understand why you lost and and either improve in that area or find something you are better at. Failures open you mind to what you can't do. Instead, think of what you can do with the knowledge of where you went wrong. Life is full of failures and there is not a single truly successful person that didn't fail at least a couple times. If a girl left you, you will want to understand where you went wrong and improve on whatever caused it to end. If you crash your car, go for driving lessons. Understand that failures are not a weakness. However, a weakness of failure is to spend too much time fretting over what doors have close. If you spend too much time you wont realize the new doors that have opened up for you.

To Re-Cap

Your personality, your interests, your past and memories, you morals, your ambitions and goals, as well as your failures all make up who you are. Knowing who you are allows you to improve yourself. Not knowing who you are allows you to take the time to figure it out. Find new interests, meet new people, get into situations that put you out of your box. Look into into different situations and figure out what your morals are. Figure out your ambitions and set your goals accordingly then take the correct steps to complete those goals. Look back on your failures and figure out where you can improve.

I really hope this helps. If you want to talk I am always reachable by PM or on discord. It took quite a while to write this so please take the time to understand what everything means and how you can implement the knowledge into your life.

Your Cherub,
~Bowman

[Tat Tvam Asi]

I have a couple of notes for you read through them, trust me it think you'll be able to understand yourself better.

A person is nothing but their memories, past events and future actions. But how does one decide what they are. "Do I fit in with this group? No. How about this one. No Ok maybe this one." It goes on and on and on. The best part about what makes you "you" is that you are different.

But what does make you "you"? That is a question many people have asked themselves time and time over again. Almost everyone, including myself, have felt this way at least once in their life. It is better to ask to now as it can make for a very troublesome mid-life crisis. So let's break it down.

Personality

Are you an optimist? Do you see the glass half full or half empty? How do you interact with people? Are you a fun person to be around? Are you adventurous? Are you a nervous person? Do you get high on life? 

What makes your personality is thousands of different questions like these. Your personality is how you interact with the world around you. Some people how a great personality and some can be better. Knowing where you stand can allow yourself to improve your personality and become a better person overall. 

Interests

Do you enjoy sports? Do you like woodworking? Do you enjoy being around people with the same overall mentality. Do you like to watch action movies, drama or comedy? Do you enjoy going for walks? Do you enjoy being around nature. Do you like video games.

If you find yourself with no interests you just have to be more adventurous, more outgoing. Just try something you never know if you like it or not until you try it. It sounds cheesy but your interests make you interesting, the less popular the better. It also allows you to communicate better. You will find people who share the same interests as you and they will usually have to same outlook on life as you. 

Your Past and Memories

Even if your childhood and/or teenage years were shit that doesn't mean the rest of you life will be. Usually people with a lot of shitty experiences under their belt are better off in life as the little things tend to bug them less. Having this kind of past also gives you a set of morals, ambitions and goals. If your father beat you, you will go out of your way to be an amazing father. If someone close to passed away you will know to hold the ones you love closer and treat them better. If you family had no money you will want to succeed in life to be able to give a better life for your children.

Morals

Morals is an essential part to what makes you "you". It ties in closely with your past as your past will dictate how you feel about different situations. Does a murder deserve to die or does he deserve to spend his life repenting. Is it right for children to die of hunger. Is it ok to take $100 dollars out of a wallet that was left on the ground. Is it right to rob a store. What if he is trying to feed his family. You will realize not everything is black and white, morals will help you guide your way through the grey areas. Morals make you think about what is right and wrong and will dictate how you live your life.

Goals and Ambitions

Your ambitions are what you strive for in life. Do you want to be successful? Do you want to be wealthy. Do you want to travel the world. Do you want get married and have kids. Do you want to have a lot of friends. Do you want to drive a nice car. Ambitions should be set on idealistic ideas rather than materialistic. If you want to drive that $200 000 you need to have to money to be able to buy it without going into debt. Setting your ambition to be successful will allow you to buy any materialistic dream you want to achieve. 

Goals are how you achieve your ambitions. If you want to be successful you need to go to school and finish with a nice degree. You need to get a job. You need to work hard and you will get there. If you want a family you will need to be more social, meet some girls or guys. You will need to have enough money to be able to support them. If you want a lot of friends, you will need to talk to people who have similar interests.

Failures

Failures should never be thought of as a reason to quit. With every failure comes an opportunity to learn from you mistakes. If you lose a job you need to understand why you lost and and either improve in that area or find something you are better at. Failures open you mind to what you can't do. Instead, think of what you can do with the knowledge of where you went wrong. Life is full of failures and there is not a single truly successful person that didn't fail at least a couple times. If a girl left you, you will want to understand where you went wrong and improve on whatever caused it to end. If you crash your car, go for driving lessons. Understand that failures are not a weakness. However, a weakness of failure is to spend too much time fretting over what doors have close. If you spend too much time you wont realize the new doors that have opened up for you.

To Re-Cap

Your personality, your interests, your past and memories, you morals, your ambitions and goals, as well as your failures all make up who you are. Knowing who you are allows you to improve yourself. Not knowing who you are allows you to take the time to figure it out. Find new interests, meet new people, get into situations that put you out of your box. Look into into different situations and figure out what your morals are. Figure out your ambitions and set your goals accordingly then take the correct steps to complete those goals. Look back on your failures and figure out where you can improve.

I really hope this helps. If you want to talk I am always reachable by PM or on discord. It took quite a while to write this so please take the time to understand what everything means and how you can implement the knowledge into your life.

Your Cherub,
~Bowman

The persona, for Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung, was the social face the individual presented to the world—"a kind of mask, designed on the one hand to make a definite impression upon others, and on the other to conceal the true nature of the individual". 
C. G. Jung, Two Essays on Analytical Psychology(London 1953) p. 190

Personality is, as you mention, conditional and changing according to multiple factors/variables.
In other words, it cannot be who you are, because not only is it ever changing, you are also aware of it and all the changes it undergoes.
To make it clearer, personality is an object of perception. And just like any other object of perception, you know that you are not fundamentally what you are perceiving, because that which perceives it must underlie the very object of perception.

To adopt your sense of self from a fickle identity, like the persona, is to literally compromise the entirety of life and your experience hereof to a mere cartoon being played out in a 3D reality.
Surely, you can find a sense of fulfilment and gratification in going on the roller coaster of life and chasing your desires, but for how long? Especially considering that you may be ignorant to the fact of what you are not, and as such, what you are, makes for a life of great strife and suffering. Allow yourself to step out of the game every now and then, so you don't get too caught up in this fantasy of becoming someone and accomplishing what you focus your attention on.

[❤️BowmanBot❤️]

The persona, for Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung, was the social face the individual presented to the world—"a kind of mask, designed on the one hand to make a definite impression upon others, and on the other to conceal the true nature of the individual". 
C. G. Jung, Two Essays on Analytical Psychology(London 1953) p. 190

Personality is, as you mention, conditional and changing according to multiple factors/variables.
In other words, it cannot be who you are, because not only is it ever changing, you are also aware of it and all the changes it undergoes.
To make it clearer, personality is an object of perception. And just like any other object of perception, you know that you are not fundamentally what you are perceiving, because that which perceives it must underlie the very object of perception.

To adopt your sense of self from a fickle identity, like the persona, is to literally compromise the entirety of life and your experience hereof to a mere cartoon being played out in a 3D reality.
Surely, you can find a sense of fulfilment and gratification in going on the roller coaster of life and chasing your desires, but for how long? Especially considering that you may be ignorant to the fact of what you are not, and as such, what you are, makes for a life of great strife and suffering. Allow yourself to step out of the game every now and then, so you don't get too caught up in this fantasy of becoming someone and accomplishing what you focus your attention on.

I think you misunderstood what OP was going through and also misunderstood what my post was about. Yes one's self is not just factors are listed but they are used to found out who you are. If you feel like you stand for nothing, don't fit in and can't find joy it isn't about accomplishing something. It is much deeper than that.

[LilRican]

I'm 20 years old and i don't know who i am and what kind of person i want to become.

Had shitty childhood filled with depression and no love at all, i feel like i can't define myself and can't create my character and personality.

I don't like circles around me really that much so i don't really fit into anything here and don't hang out with too many people, it's all about doing drugs after their 9 to 5 jobs to them, no ambitions at all.

Have anyone felt like this?

I feel you bro. I was a single parent raised kid growing up. I didn't know what to do with my life so i got in trouble alot. I got sentenced 3 years at 16 but ended up getting out early. When i got out i didnt wana be a loser. I was depressed af before getting sentenced and got a lil depressed when i got out cuz i didnt kno what to do with myself. Talk to someone you know thats older that's doing pretty well for themselves. Shit will eventually come its a phase alot of young dudes go though and thats real shit.

[Klout]

New years coming soon, feeling FOMO as fuck

I wanted to ask my friend to go out for new years but in the meanwhile he got other plans with my other friend and i'm feeling left out asf

Gonna stay at home, 2017 was actually depressing for me, lost my girlfriend, still have no good friends, still feeling left out

Hello 2018!

BTW few of you who posted here like BowmanBot - thank you! You took time to write that down and i will actually try to make myself a better person off of your post, because i found out that i couldn't answer to some of your points in the text, i feel like i need to develop everything you noted there.

Stay strong to everyone who's down. Please enter 2018 by knowing you are not alone and that you are worth something too. Please stay safe.

Happy new year

[❤️BowmanBot❤️]

New years coming soon, feeling FOMO as fuck

I wanted to ask my friend to go out for new years but in the meanwhile he got other plans with my other friend and i'm feeling left out asf

Gonna stay at home, 2017 was actually depressing for me, lost my girlfriend, still have no good friends, still feeling left out

Hello 2018!

BTW few of you who posted here like BowmanBot - thank you! You took time to write that down and i will actually try to make myself a better person off of your post, because i found out that i couldn't answer to some of your points in the text, i feel like i need to develop everything you noted there.

Stay strong to everyone who's down. Please enter 2018 by knowing you are not alone and that you are worth something too. Please stay safe.

Happy new year

Happy new year Kai_! Remember always learn, always progress, always improve.

Cheers mate!

[FryPan]

You are so like me man.

Read some of my threads asking for help.

Good luck bro <3

[machine911]

Happy new year. bro!
I undersand you and at the age of 20 I was undecided what I'll do with my life.
Take a break, go to gym, make new friends and I hope you'll get better.
If you want, pm me and I hope to help you

[Untold]

We are very similar in many ways, OP. I too, have struggled with the apathetic lifestyle. I've lived the majority of my life feeling toxic towards everyone around me. This primarily can be related to my trauma I endured during my childhood. I've felt lost throughout my entire life, I've lost people I love due to my grievances. I believe us humans will never know who we are, or what we are doing. We are not a constant, we are always changing and adapting. 

But I do believe we need to find love within ourselves before we can go out and embrace everyone and everything else in the world. We have to embrace who we are as the first step. We have to find hope within ourselves, we can't live in this dark prolonged hole constantly trying to find the light. We have to find love for ourselves before we can love everything around us.

[Wismec]

Dude, let me tell you something. Like many others have said, life is a never ending process of learning who you are. I feel as if there's a lot of societal pressure these days to know who you are. There is a famous entrepreneur/motivational speaker named Gary Vaynerchuk, and many people in their 20s and early 30s go to him saying that they feel lost in life, and his advice to them is consistently the same: "You're not lost in life, you're just early in the process."

Now you have to understand that I seriously relate to you. I am an 18 year old kid who is battling drug addiction (Heroin to be specific). As of right now I am sober and somewhat happy, but it hasn't always been this way and negative feelings of worthlessness, self hatred, self doubt etc still come up. I've learned to realize that they will pass. Everything in existence is temporary except for change. This includes our feelings.

I also learned the lesson of "Feelings are real, not reality". What this means is that feelings are real! That is an undeniable fact, we experience them. The important part however is that they are not reality, meaning the way we feel doesn't dictate reality. I can feel like a piece of garbage for doing something I'm not proud of and later that day feel like a king for doing something that I AM proud of. The point is neither of those are real, and I exist somewhere between.

The one thing that I believe has gotten me to where I am today (Sober and happy, which is a miracle taking my past into account) is love for others. As corny and cliche as that sounds, it's real. I feel very good about myself at this very moment, and that's because I genuinely care about you and I'm trying to best to help you! I don't know what you look like, don't know what kind of music you listen to, don't know the way you talk, where you are from, and I care about you. Even towards those we resent the most, deep down we can find humanitarian love for them as we are all imperfect humans. We are all on this lifelong battle to figure out who we are.

Resentment, greed etc all separate us from this fact, that we are all the same. I know this was a mouthful but dude just realize, YOU ARE GOOD. You are twenty years old. You likely have 50 years or more ahead of you. Depression is a bitch I know, but things will not always be this way. I am very grateful for my mental illnesses (Drug addiction, anxiety, depression) because I learned how much caring about others matters because of them. I can relate to others on a deeper level because of the demons I've faced. You have this same gift! Perhaps you don't realize it, but it will surface more as you age. I only wish you the best buddy, I genuinely, really do; I hope you realize that.

[Speed Test]

Same boat friend. I really don't know what I want to become. Only time will say.
My biggest afraid is to become 30 years old because I know for sure I will look back and I will feel so sorry about I did not use my years when I was 17-24.
I am really feel bad for this.