[xclouded1]

I'm in my mid twenties, and life has gotten pretty lonely for me these last couple of years, friends just drifting, getting married, jobs etc.

Is it just me or is it getting harder to connect with people you meet through in real life? I find it much easier to find people online who I connect with, but it never feels real like seeing them face to face, or I worry about them just deleting me eventually since I'm not actually in their lives.

One thing I've particularly noticed is that, you have to be perfect all the time, you can't debate or have different political views otherwise you'd be straight up deleted, even down to petty things such as if you share same music/movie tastes etc.

So my question is, how do you go about creating a new social life when your life is completely different and you don't really have the friends you used to have?

Is there anything I can do to appreciate my company more, and make being lonely more enjoyable?

Thank you for reading ✌

[Phantom_NiNja]

I'm in my mid twenties, and life has gotten pretty lonely for me these last couple of years, friends just drifting, getting married, jobs etc.

Is it just me or is it getting harder to connect with people you meet through in real life? I find it much easier to find people online who I connect with, but it never feels real like seeing them face to face, or I worry about them just deleting me eventually since I'm not actually in their lives.

One thing I've particularly noticed is that, you have to be perfect all the time, you can't debate or have different political views otherwise you'd be straight up deleted, even down to petty things such as if you share same music/movie tastes etc.

So my question is, how do you go about creating a new social life when your life is completely different and you don't really have the friends you used to have?

Is there anything I can do to appreciate my company more, and make being lonely more enjoyable?

Thank you for reading ✌

Bro I am older than you. My understanding is that everyone on HF that are like you ... or have the same interests as you are on here. However,
most of us on here are in different states and different countries. My point there's people that are just like you and I am sure when you meet them it automatically clicks. However, finding these same people near where you physically live is physically impossible. My point there's more morons
that live near you that don't have the same interest as you and most of them are superficial meaning they would rather be friends and hang out with people that are just like them. Some people hate computers and tech and would rather work on cars or anything mechanical. Those types of people are the majority in our U.S. population. People that just want to get a small job and just live with people like them that are simple and don't care much about anything.

The people like you and me that are interested in computers, tech, science etc.. We are mostly busy either workin, or going to school or just reading books or going online to learn.

My point is forget about making friends just enjoy your alone time and don't force it on you to make friends. Just go to events or business conferences etc
and just talk to people randomly. I feel like the first time you walk up to strangers to talk it's the most awkard thing to do because you except people to give you that look confused and be like " I am sorry ... but do I know you? " that is where you go oh I am sorry I forgot to introduce myself.
You tell them your name and that you never met but You came to the event to meet new people. Don't go expecting to make any friends. If feel the first few times you won't make any friends but once you get used to approaching people and handle different types of people that are friendly or not friendly or some that might rude. You over time will get used to dealing with people in different situations. Eventually you will find someone that would think you're cool and chill to hang out with.

However, the older you get he harder it is if you're a man. It's just hard because people look at men as con people or scammers or perverts that are trying to get a change to see their wife naked or something. People always think of such things and is why it's hard for people like you and me to make new friends. I myself gave up on making friends but I do talk to strangers when I am out and about. I remember at first I would stutter and fumble my words but it was because I was worried how it would look like or how they would perceive me.

[xclouded1]

Bro I am older than you. My understanding is that everyone on HF that are like you ... or have the same interests as you are on here. However,
most of us on here are in different states and different countries. My point there's people that are just like you and I am sure when you meet them it automatically clicks. However, finding these same people near where you physically live is physically impossible. My point there's more morons
that live near you that don't have the same interest as you and most of them are superficial meaning they would rather be friends and hang out with people that are just like them. Some people hate computers and tech and would rather work on cars or anything mechanical. Those types of people are the majority in our U.S. population. People that just want to get a small job and just live with people like them that are simple and don't care much about anything.

The people like you and me that are interested in computers, tech, science etc.. We are mostly busy either workin, or going to school or just reading books or going online to learn.

My point is forget about making friends just enjoy your alone time and don't force it on you to make friends. Just go to events or business conferences etc
and just talk to people randomly. I feel like the first time you walk up to strangers to talk it's the most awkard thing to do because you except people to give you that look confused and be like " I am sorry ... but do I know you? " that is where you go oh I am sorry I forgot to introduce myself.
You tell them your name and that you never met but You came to the event to meet new people. Don't go expecting to make any friends. If feel the first few times you won't make any friends but once you get used to approaching people and handle different types of people that are friendly or not friendly or some that might rude. You over time will get used to dealing with people in different situations. Eventually you will find someone that would think you're cool and chill to hang out with.

However, the older you get he harder it is if you're a man. It's just hard because people look at men as con people or scammers or perverts that are trying to get a change to see their wife naked or something. People always think of such things and is why it's hard for people like you and me to make new friends. I myself gave up on making friends but I do talk to strangers when I am out and about. I remember at first I would stutter and fumble my words but it was because I was worried how it would look like or how they would perceive me.

Wow thanks for writing all of that, definitely relatable, especially the last part, I find myself stuttering in public since I've gotten used to just living at my house and not going out much, and yeah it's true, the older you get, the more people judge you and are not as interested into learning about you etc.

It's also true about the local area people, they just seem so different and we rarely if ever share the same interests and life outlook etc, thank you for the post though, it was a nice read honestly.

[plops]

It's just going to be tough.
I work a regular nob tech job, but my free time over the last couple years has been spent building a few things to eventually get out of this job.
But that also makes my hobbies completely unrelatable to every single person around me, like the other guy said. So I don't blend in. I'm even at the age where I don't give a shit about online friends. It's pointless and not genuine to me.
So yes, putting yourself in meetups, conferences etc will help you socialize with people that are somewhat relatable. Like he also said, if you are really needy, talk to strangers. Or actually engage with the random person who talks to you at the store.
They might be in the same boat as you.
Its all easier said than done, but just say fuck it and do it. You never know what will happen from it.

[n8maniac]

hell, I have problems making friends even while being in the education

[Mech]

That's the world now adays. There's so no longer agree to disagree but still respect one another. It's only, if you don't agree with me, you're wrong and we can't be around one another.

[The Pact]

That's the world now adays. There's so no longer agree to disagree but still respect one another. It's only, if you don't agree with me, you're wrong and we can't be around one another.

And there's the whole ghosting and "no contact" fad where people think it's cool and trendy to pretend that their living relatives are dead and their therapists encourage them to have a "found family" and dump that relative that said the "wrong thing" even if it's your own brother, sister, aunt, father, mother. People online on r/AmItheAH will say DUMP THEM, GHOST ThEM. Go no contact.

People can block anyone on all platforms at any time. If your family member once said something you didn't like that means that they are toxic, and deserve "no contact" and you don't try to talk and work things out because you can always find other people and pretend your living relatives are dead and pat your found friend on the back about how cool and trendy you both are because you are pretending your father, mother and sister are dead and how great that is for your mental health, and if you don't have to read boring emails from family or take boring calls from family that means you can watch more Netflix after work.

It's really cool and trendy to pretend living relatives are dead and the person who first decided to pretend their living relatives are dead is obviously the one in the right because they're the ones doing the trendy "no contact." That means they are the nontoxic person because they know it's best for mental health to pretend your living relatives are dead. There's lots of internet articles that say so!

Dump old friend of ten or fifteen years because they said something wrong and you're too busy with work anyway.

[SilentTrace]

I'm in my mid twenties, and life has gotten pretty lonely for me these last couple of years, friends just drifting, getting married, jobs etc.

Is it just me or is it getting harder to connect with people you meet through in real life? I find it much easier to find people online who I connect with, but it never feels real like seeing them face to face, or I worry about them just deleting me eventually since I'm not actually in their lives.

One thing I've particularly noticed is that, you have to be perfect all the time, you can't debate or have different political views otherwise you'd be straight up deleted, even down to petty things such as if you share same music/movie tastes etc.

So my question is, how do you go about creating a new social life when your life is completely different and you don't really have the friends you used to have?

Is there anything I can do to appreciate my company more, and make being lonely more enjoyable?

Thank you for reading ✌

I think most people are in the same situation nowadays — it's hard to make real friends. Over time, we find ourselves drawn to easier distractions, like watching reels alone at home. Personally, I consider myself lucky. I have my family and a few friends — literally just a handful — but that’s more than enough.

I've had many friends in the past and met lots of people because I’m quite extroverted. But to be honest, that’s one of the worst things you can do if you're not careful. Now, I’ve come to truly value solitude. Sure, there are moments when you need to get out, live a little, and experience the world. But I believe the greatest strength is learning how to live with yourself and your thoughts.

Train your mind so that being alone doesn't hurt — so you can see it as a privilege rather than a punishment. When you're alone, you don’t have to carry anyone else’s burdens or drama. Honestly, many of the friends I’ve had were nothing like me, and that’s fine. Often, the only role they played was sitting with me at a bar and sharing a drink.

My advice, man, is this: learn to be alone and become mentally strong. Learn to control your thoughts, and you’ll discover the mental stability everyone is chasing. That stability — what many call “happiness” — comes from having control over your mind, staying positive, keeping your thoughts in check, and being yourself without needing anything from anyone.

Yes, relationships and close friendships are great, but often our happiness becomes tied to them. And when things fall apart — when that partner or friend disappears — it feels like your world falls apart too. But trust me on this: everything passes. Friendships come and go. Relationships come and go. Life moves in seasons.

So, find what’s best in your current season and enjoy it. If you have time, invest it in something you love. If you have money, spend it wisely. If you have good friends right now, go out with them more. Learn to enjoy the present moment and don’t fall into the trap of thinking you’ll be happier just because you're around people. Most of the time, that’s just a trick your mind plays on you.

If u wanna talk more about this, send a pm

[Emilu]

Hello guys. I need how to bypass location verification on Nextdoor app

[Jamika]

I made alot in work , to be honest i didn't have many while in education

[Phantom_NiNja]

Wow thanks for writing all of that, definitely relatable, especially the last part, I find myself stuttering in public since I've gotten used to just living at my house and not going out much, and yeah it's true, the older you get, the more people judge you and are not as interested into learning about you etc.

It's also true about the local area people, they just seem so different and we rarely if ever share the same interests and life outlook etc, thank you for the post though, it was a nice read honestly.

Yeah, so don't force it and don't be hard on yourself. Just be open to talking to people even if they annoy you or if some people you just flat out don't like try and still give them some respect as long they don't disrespect you.

I am older than you and I am going thru exactly what you're experiencing. I was hard on myself for years because everyone told me that problem isn't other people but me. So, I always tried talking to people and I have always in my life been friendly but most would give me those looks and would say one word responses like yes, or yepp... and I could feel like they didn't want to talk to me and wanted me to leave them alone. Those people had friends and once they showed up they would ditch me and run to their friend.

I experienced that my whole life. I always made an effort and always thought it's me not having good social skills until after college.
In college I met many people did group projects and I was always the one that did all the work in most groups.

I today still talk to people but I never made a real friend. Even as a kid I thought I had alot of friends. It's people I knew from school.
I knew everyone in my classes and I would hang out with them in school. I have them on my facebook but never really hung out of school with them.
I had a best friend which I thought at the time. However, long story short that kid just used me to help him with school work and he made this know in highschool when he ended up moving away. He never kept in touch and would talk to people from my school about me in a negative way.

I learned in college in psychology class. That a acquaintance is not the same as a friend. They defined a friend and an acquaintance. There's also no such thing as a good friend or a friend that isn't close.

My best friend I would hang out with them every day. I met his parent's, his sister, his grandma, grandpa, uncle, etc. I mean I knew the whole family and even his cousins. The uncle and cousins never really liked me.

but my point is that society is changing a lot and the older you get and being a male it's a lot harder to get friends or meet new people without judging you. They will ask about your education and where you work and if you have any kids. In today's day and age people would want to be your friend if you have financial success or have something they wish they had. If you don't have anything of interest or that they can benefit from you then they ignore you and try and keep the talk short. I seen this many times in my life time. Very superficial. Even when I would go to other countries if people knew I was from the U.S.A I always thought those people are just friendly people like they would talk to you in a way that they want to know everything about you and have interest in you. It's because they perceive you to be rich. They would always ask questions about what it's like in the U.S.A. That is why people in other countries seem to be friendly. The truth it looks like this superficial attitude is global. It's just you visiting another country they look to you as a rich people. That is why they're friendly with you and want to be friends because they will try and use you. They might ask if they can one day visit and stay at your crib and you show them around. I experienced this too and always wondered why when I leave the U.S.A and visit other countries people are more talkative to me and seem genuinely interested in me but I never got this attention back in the U.S.A.

So, don't force it but be open and be careful what info you tell to people. I just feel everyone has their own intentions. It wasn't like this back in the old times. Most people would talk to you about similar interests like if you like sports or have a similar hobby people would hang out and eventually become friends over it. Today most don't do this instead it's all about your wealth and your education.

---

I made alot in work , to be honest i didn't have many while in education

Are you sure they're friends or acquaintances? Trust me I had a lot of co-workers that I knew that I bought lunch for them.
They did the same and they were nice to me and I was nice to them. I bought them lunch because when I first started working with them.
I was slow on doing things and I heard these people behind my back talking to the clinic manager about me being slow.
I bought them lunch to hopefully try and get them off my back until I learn the routine of the job. Over time learned shortcuts
and was able to do things faster. They didn't understand why I bought them lunch. There was times where I was leaving from work
and it was a buy day and the person that came to relive me of my duty. I asked them all if they wanted anything from Mcdonalds.
I paid or all their lunch and went and picked it up and dropped it off to them. I can keep on going to the point that I would think we were close enough to be considered friends. I would her stories and issues from their family or if a family member was sick.

This one lady older than me had her husband in the hospital in serious condition. She asked for days off due to those issues.
The manager said she could take those days off if she can find someone to take her spot. She asked everyone and everyone refused.
Then she asked me and I said yeah I will do it but told her I didn't need the extra money and I am doing it or her since I told her we heard her talk to the manager. She thanked me and gave me hug.

One year later I needed to take off of work because my mom broke her hip and she was in the hospital. I talked to the manager and she told me the same thing if you can find someone to replace your spot she will allow it. I asked everyone if they can cover for me including the lady I did her a favor and everyone refused. My dad and mom was pissed at me because I told them I couldn't take time off from work.
After that the lady that I covered for her started talking again behind my back That I am working slow and doing things wrong and am retarded.
She even complained to HR and to the owner and she wanted me fired. This was because I was following strict company policy for urgent care to register and let anyone seen before closing. Anyone that waked in at 8pm would be seen. She one time told me that I am doing things wrong and told me that after 6:30pm we can't take any more patients.

This was like my 5th year working there when things went sour. She stir the pot got a lot of people to think negatively about me. They never fired me because they couldn't find anything but at this time I was being micromanaged because this lady made so many complaints. They were watching me closely to just find any excuse to fire me. I ended up quitting because the workplace was toxic and many people that made mistakes got fired and we would be short staff and I would have to work 3 or 4 jobs the same day. I even at times had to do the managers work by doing inventory on medical supplies.

My point is that these people never were my friends. I at one point thought they were because of how friendly they were but when I saw them switched up on me I knew it was all fake and for show. They were nice to me because they wanted to get to know me so they can dig up dirt on me. Then they wait for a time when they need to use that dirt to be used against me.

I would say they were acquaintances. Most co-workers are just acquaintances and never could be a friend. What makes a friend ... a friend is a person that visits you at your house and had genuine feelings towards you and would be there for anything meaning if you need a ride they will either do it themselves or ask one of their friends if they could do them a favor to help you out. If you tell this person that you lost your job and their first reaction is laughing their ass off and calling you a bum or a loser. This person ain't your friend. A real friend would say sorry to hear that but if you need anything let me know meaning if you need to fiend another job that person would always be hitting you up and letting you know people they know that are looking to hire someone.

I actually seen this happen to others where they had legit friends and in that college class psychology class they even define a friend like that.
Friends are supposed to care for you. They should treat you that same way like care about you and that feelin needs to be mutual meaning you should do the same for them but you need to understand not everyone has the same resources and some people might not have other friends but if you have a friend that has no other friends then don't expect much help but you should see the behavior where they should still feel concern about you if negative things are happening to you. It boils to how they act.

I myself never experienced anyone legitimately looking out or me or having my back. Most would act like that until something bad happens to me and then I get to see their true selves which is them happy that negative things are happening to me and laughing about it even though I helped them in the past with their problems. After seeing that I distance myself.

---

I think most people are in the same situation nowadays — it's hard to make real friends. Over time, we find ourselves drawn to easier distractions, like watching reels alone at home. Personally, I consider myself lucky. I have my family and a few friends — literally just a handful — but that’s more than enough.

I've had many friends in the past and met lots of people because I’m quite extroverted. But to be honest, that’s one of the worst things you can do if you're not careful. Now, I’ve come to truly value solitude. Sure, there are moments when you need to get out, live a little, and experience the world. But I believe the greatest strength is learning how to live with yourself and your thoughts.

Train your mind so that being alone doesn't hurt — so you can see it as a privilege rather than a punishment. When you're alone, you don’t have to carry anyone else’s burdens or drama. Honestly, many of the friends I’ve had were nothing like me, and that’s fine. Often, the only role they played was sitting with me at a bar and sharing a drink.

My advice, man, is this: learn to be alone and become mentally strong. Learn to control your thoughts, and you’ll discover the mental stability everyone is chasing. That stability — what many call “happiness” — comes from having control over your mind, staying positive, keeping your thoughts in check, and being yourself without needing anything from anyone.

Yes, relationships and close friendships are great, but often our happiness becomes tied to them. And when things fall apart — when that partner or friend disappears — it feels like your world falls apart too. But trust me on this: everything passes. Friendships come and go. Relationships come and go. Life moves in seasons.

So, find what’s best in your current season and enjoy it. If you have time, invest it in something you love. If you have money, spend it wisely. If you have good friends right now, go out with them more. Learn to enjoy the present moment and don’t fall into the trap of thinking you’ll be happier just because you're around people. Most of the time, that’s just a trick your mind plays on you.

If u wanna talk more about this, send a pm

This is true but understand that we as humans are built to be social creatures. You really need to depend on people. You won't live long by living alone.

The reason I say this is that I watch urban exploring videos on youtube. I have see videos that show body stains like of dead people.
There was a house in the UK that an old lady lived in it. Her daguther would help with her bills but she lived alone. One day she didn't pick up the phone.
So, she called the police which did a wellfare check and found the old lady collapsed on the floor and they found her dead.
You can see where her body was laying face down.

My point is that you need someone with you just in case of medical emergencies. Like that old lady she died of a heart attack and it was determined if someone watch there watching her they could have saved her based on symptoms.
I always see videos like that and always gets me tearing up and it's just that the way they died was so cold and cruel. I mean thinking about it what if you have some medical emergency where you cannot walk or talk properly. if you're all alone you will die and no one will know you're dead until your body is rotting and the whole area can smell you dead corpse .

My point is be ok with being single and alone and find ways to kep your mental help at bay. Don' think negative and sometimes you need to go out for a walk to calm down. However, don't be foolish to think you can just live alone and not have social interaction. We live in a world that we need to socialize and anything you do you have to talk to people. You need a job and in any jobs you will always need to know how to talk and deal with people.
So, that is why I encourage you to always go out and talk with strangers even if you're awkward. If you talk to an attractive woman don't say sexual things just be genuine when asking questions. Don't think you have to score with her or go on a date. Just get used to talking to people. Always make sure you take showers and be groomed nicely when going out.

The reason I say this is that if you don't try and make friends you will end up living a hard life. My point is that there's times where out of nowhere you might have a medical emergency and if you had someone with you that could call 911 and talk to people on behalf of you. They could have saved your life and keep you going longer. If you're alone you will die an early age and that's because sometimes you cannot be in control and need someone else to take control of a medical type situation and by not having someone with you that jut means you will be stuck in that condition until you die.