[justbenbro]

It's truly unbelievable.. I was drunk last night like i wasn't for a very long time, and ice seen the email notifications noticing that thread, and I'm quite shocked of myself since i didn't expect to write such things about myself in a such public place, Ive never done that before and i honestly don't know what to feel.

I always tended to keep everything to myself no matter how critical things were, And always found a perspective that the only salvation in darkness is only me and none else, so none could tell if I'm going through a hard time or not since i was always the guy who motivates while he isn't motivated and nothing would stop my will to find a common ground i could relay on, knowing that i got this in some way.

Saying that, I wish to thank you all for for the sympathy, and I'm grateful you haven't put my pride on a guillotine, for a man like me, that's all i have left to keep remembering who i am.

You guys are awesome, and I'm certain the universe will bring you everything you deserve, and i apologize sincerely if i bombed you with my story out of nowhere like this, I appreciate the time for your answers and feedback to my complex situation.

[The Joker]

Hope you get everything sorted! Good luck..

[justbenbro]

Hope you get everything sorted! Good luck..

Thank you man, much appreciated.

[Terry A. Davis]

Now i'm 29, still at my start 0, and now the only available optiom and choice is to compromise, and find a normal job that will just write a whole L on everything i committed myself to, all these 7 years. So honestly, i'm frustrated, call it desperate even if i came here to tell you guys about it, but i seriously seek for a way out.

Don't measure your life by others progress, I'm one year older, and not really much further along, I've lived a life I am happy with up to this point, and will continue to take steps I think I need to do in order to keep that happiness.

---

I suggest going to professional help, you're not crazy, depressed, or anything, but having a trained person that will spot trends in your line of thought will help you understand more about your feelings and will offer much greater help than strangers on the internet, trust me.

[The Pact]

Don't measure your life by others progress, I'm one year older, and not really much further along, I've lived a life I am happy with up to this point, and will continue to take steps I think I need to do in order to keep that happiness.

---

I suggest going to professional help, you're not crazy, depressed, or anything, but having a trained person that will spot trends in your line of thought will help you understand more about your feelings and will offer much greater help than strangers on the internet, trust me.

How is he supposed to do that when he has no money and no job. Jesus people think!

O.P. guy who made this thread. Just go look through the money tab on here.

[Terry A. Davis]

How is he supposed to do that when he has no money and no job. Jesus people think!

There would hopefully be some level of social service that offers support much like we have where I live, though I am not certain about America, or otherwhere in the world, I would hope that some local body place has enough brains to think "Hmm, maybe we should sponsor this" or through the issue, help I would suspect in most developed places where you can get on a place like this freely enough that there is freedom to get help of whatever level even if you're broke.

[The Pact]

There would hopefully be some level of social service that offers support much like we have where I live, though I am not certain about America, or otherwhere in the world, I would hope that some local body place has enough brains to think "Hmm, maybe we should sponsor this" or through the issue, help I would suspect in most developed places where you can get on a place like this freely enough that there is freedom to get help of whatever level even if you're broke.

I don't know where the OP lives, but you sure don't know much about the USA. That is absolutely the last country in the first world where you could get something like that. As for where I live which is more socialist....um it's not the 1970s. In the 1970s people here got all kinds of lovely things via the state, but not any more. You must live in a Utopian country in this era.

[Terry A. Davis]

I don't know where the OP lives, but you sure don't know much about the USA.

Very true, I live far enough away from them that I don't need to care, I would've assumed some local body places would've sprung up because of the nature, but I think I am derailing now, I will take my deranged view of the world and leave, since I live in a snowflake bubble. This is known, I am not insulting or dismissing what you are saying, I am saying I was wrong, and moving on with it. I guess I think the best of people and the world in that regard to much.

I don't think I live in that much of a Utopia, I just know the upcoming counselling session I have would be free if I was unemployed, but likely doesn't help they're sponsored by a church so they likely get it from them.

[The Pact]

Very true, I live far enough away from them that I don't need to care, I would've assumed some local body places would've sprung up because of the nature, but I think I am derailing now, I will take my deranged view of the world and leave, since I live in a snowflake bubble. This is known, I am not insulting or dismissing what you are saying, I am saying I was wrong, and moving on with it. I guess I think the best of people and the world in that regard to much.

I don't think I live in that much of a Utopia, I just know the upcoming counselling session I have would be free if I was unemployed, but likely doesn't help they're sponsored by a church so they likely get it from them.

Oh well that's true that churches might offer free stuff. Governments arpund the world started moving away from that a long time ago. I saw this documentary about a serial killer in the USA who had grown up with violent sadistic child abuse being done to him. His mother and his sister went begging and begging for mental health care for him and every place said "Does he have health insurance insurance?" "No." "Fuck off then." So, he decided to deal with his problems by picking up hitchhiking women and torturing them to death instead.

Sorry to the OP about the derail but I might PM the OP.

[JoshAllen]

For starters, I am sorry for everything you are going through.

There is nothing to be ashamed of and life is not a map to follow.

Try getting a social worker NOW. They will be a great guidance for you and can help you out with many things such as mental health, housing, etc.

[RangoWorld]

I read your whole story. Give yourself some leeway man.

I don't have a particular advice. Though I will say that since you've spent so many years with trading. That experience is what makes you standout from other guys. So whatever next work you do. Maybe try to incorporate that? Use that leverage to your advantage?

[justbenbro]

It's truly unbelievable.. I was drunk last night like i wasn't for a very long time, and ice seen the email notifications noticing that thread, and I'm quite shocked of myself since i didn't expect to write such things about myself in a such public place, Ive never done that before and i honestly don't know what to feel.

I always tended to keep everything to myself no matter how critical things were, And always found a perspective that the only salvation in darkness is only me and none else, so none could tell if I'm going through a hard time or not since i was always the guy who motivates while he isn't motivated and nothing would stop my will to find a common ground i could relay on, knowing that i got this in some way.

Saying that, I wish to thank you all for for the sympathy, and I'm grateful you haven't put my pride on a guillotine, for a man like me, that's all i have left to keep remembering who i am. You guys are awesome, and I'm certain the universe will bring you everything you deserve.

Don't measure your life by others progress, I'm one year older, and not really much further along, I've lived a life I am happy with up to this point, and will continue to take steps I think I need to do in order to keep that happiness.

---

I suggest going to professional help, you're not crazy, depressed, or anything, but having a trained person that will spot trends in your line of thought will help you understand more about your feelings and will offer much greater help than strangers on the internet, trust me.

I appreciate your good will of telling me what is most commonly advised, but unfortunately my responsibility for my house, and my mother was denying me the ability to take actions without consideration of consequences.

As i was young, telling out the manner of how we live and how I'm dealing with everything, would turn my mother in an image i know that would dishonor her, since i knew her deep intention, and also her true nature, regardless to the pain or the inconvenience i experienced from her behavior.

So a normal job, a third party opinion to navigate right was never an option, i had to force myself to navigate and motivate myself since i didn't seek to be a victim of my own reality, so i had to learn patterns, think and feel beyond my own emotion and seeing whats matter to keep my house balanced which was allowance to look outwards and make some actions, and since she couldn't treat herself, I had to take responsibility in a way or another and somewhat become a psychiatrist of my own.

i wanted to face and overcome it knowing that my will and knowing what is true led me to my salvation, and not a runaway or a compromise.

My mother is all i have, and good memory that reminds me that my future is worth having, mostly, not being a storyteller, but having someone who will be a witness to who i am since explaining where, what and how i came from to the person i am today, is not an easy or a normal story you are telling.

But non the less, thank you very much for your honest opinion.

How is he supposed to do that when he has no money and no job. Jesus people think!

O.P. guy who made this thread. Just go look through the money tab on here.

Thank you for seeing the deeper point and my position in all this. It's not about money, or a job, but a choice and peace that i was seeking to finally take care of what i should have to establish myself, I am not saying that i have issues, but Ive lived as a loaded gun through my life, so resting my mind or my actions was a privilege when i get such peace and even for a small period.

Regarding the money tab, Ive started in that tab before i started investing and when i first started my road of chasing a definite result for all the chase that Ive started after my release from the military. Ive tried it all, and even bought some methods, but as you know, nothing comes easy, and some methods required tools or time spend that i sadly didn't have.

I don't know where the OP lives, but you sure don't know much about the USA. That is absolutely the last country in the first world where you could get something like that. As for where I live which is more socialist....um it's not the 1970s. In the 1970s people here got all kinds of lovely things via the state, but not any more. You must live in a Utopian country in this era.

I live in world's devil's nest, Israel, the military i have served was the IDF for 3 years.

(I'm not a pro-palestine or political, Ive got to know and seen things sadly that made me against politics, it's all corrupt.)

Oh well that's true that churches might offer free stuff. Governments around the world started moving away from that a long time ago. I saw this documentary about a serial killer in the USA who had grown up with violent sadistic child abuse being done to him. His mother and his sister went begging and begging for mental health care for him and every place said "Does he have health insurance insurance?" "No." "Fuck off then." So, he decided to deal with his problems by picking up hitchhiking women and torturing them to death instead.

Sorry to the OP about the derail but I might PM the OP.

No offense taken man, I got the point of your perspective. Sadly, I am able to get the help that some are advising me to take, either for myself or to deal with my mother, and all the solutions are to abandon her.

Taking that help as much as it might not make sense to some of you, would ruin the progress and everything that my mother was trying to make and the image that i was creating of myself that kept me safe and synced with how I'm seen and how i look at myself in the mirror. As it would destroy my house, it would destroy me, since Ive given it all to save the slight of good that i have left in the memory of where I'm coming from in order to consider my future valid without burying skeletons in the closet. So Ive tried to bury the necessary ones, if it makes any sense.

For starters, I am sorry for everything you are going through.

There is nothing to be ashamed of and life is not a map to follow.

Try getting a social worker NOW. They will be a great guidance for you and can help you out with many things such as mental health, housing, etc.

Thank you Josh, I appreciate that. unfortunately it's not an option for me. It's either i give up on what i dedicated myself all my life which will shock my whole world and i have no idea what would be the price of it, but i know it will be critical. or keep trying to deal to overcome the origin of what made me the way i am today.

Many blessings man.

I read your whole story. Give yourself some leeway man.

I don't have a particular advice. Though I will say that since you've spent so many years with trading. That experience is what makes you standout from other guys. So whatever next work you do. Maybe try to incorporate that? Use that leverage to your advantage?

You reading my drunken spill-out is more than an honorably gesture and i respect that. Thank you for giving out of your time and realizing my place, I appreciate that man.

I had opportunities to be invested and to split profit in percentages, but i mostly refused since working with someone who has no knowledge but only money expectations could just ruin the work itself, and also the relations with that person. That's why if you invest, you invest alone and responsibly.

Many blessings bro.

[JoshAllen]

Thank you Josh, I appreciate that. unfortunately it's not an option for me. It's either i give up on what i dedicated myself all my life which will shock my whole world and i have no idea what would be the price of it, but i know it will be critical. or keep trying to deal to overcome the origin of what made me the way i am today.

Social workers are free. You gotta try instead of thinking everything is a deadend.

[Phantom_NiNja]

It's truly unbelievable.. I was drunk last night like i wasn't for a very long time, and ice seen the email notifications noticing that thread, and I'm quite shocked of myself since i didn't expect to write such things about myself in a such public place, Ive never done that before and i honestly don't know what to feel.

I always tended to keep everything to myself no matter how critical things were, And always found a perspective that the only salvation in darkness is only me and none else, so none could tell if I'm going through a hard time or not since i was always the guy who motivates while he isn't motivated and nothing would stop my will to find a common ground i could relay on, knowing that i got this in some way.

Saying that, I wish to thank you all for for the sympathy, and I'm grateful you haven't put my pride on a guillotine, for a man like me, that's all i have left to keep remembering who i am.

You guys are awesome, and I'm certain the universe will bring you everything you deserve, and i apologize sincerely if i bombed you with my story out of nowhere like this, I appreciate the time for your answers and feedback to my complex situation.

Dude that's an insane story. Why not go back into the military? Or do some social media marketing instead of working a regular job.