[Rexagon]

Happy Holidays from Rexagon

I'm celebrating the holidays by holding a contest for all regular users, this is your chance for a free upgrade to L33T.

The Requirements:

1. Must have a 0% warning level
   
2. Must have positive rep
   
3. Must be a HQ user (no post whoring)
   
4. Must make me laugh with a single post
   

So there we go, if you're a HQ user with 0% warning and positive rep, all you need to do is post a joke below to enter the contest, and I will pick the funniest, but most deserving user.

This contest will end it's drawings on January 1st, 2014 and the winner will be announced shortly after, and will be PM'd with a 24 hour time window to respond. If no response is given, a new winner will be chosen.

Contest has ended
The winner is EarThQuakE and responded within the 24 hour window.

[DeltaGrinch]

A 14 yrs old went to a bar with his father when,
Guard: Sir, I am sorry but your kid is not allowed to go inside the bar.
14 yrs old : Sir, if I may speak. I am already 21 yrs old, don't judge me by my height. Look at my fathers height.
Father: Seriously son?
Guard: You can go in now.

I am not a comedian so I don't know anything funny. :D

[h4xer]

Kind of an nsfw joke maybe :P

The wife asks the owner, "what's so special about this mirror that it's $50?" The owner says "it's a magic mirror, it will grant you any wish." After a little discussing the husband and wife decide to purchase the mirror.
They haul it home and hang it on their bedroom door. "Try it out," the husband exclaims. The wife looks in the mirror and says, "Mirror, mirror on the door. Give me boobs that touch the floor." All of a sudden, the womens breast enlarge, become voluptuous, and are so big they are touching the floor.
The husband obviously excited wants to try it out. He looks in the mirror and says, "Mirror, mirror, on the door, make my dick touch the floor." All of sudden, the mans legs fall off.

and thanks for this Lt. Rexagon

[DaEnemyz]

I'll be honest, this is not my original joke, my cousin told it to me and it made it laugh so I thought I'd share:

A father comes home to find his daughters there with their lesbian partners, (the father is not really gay friendly)

Father (angrily and annoyed): Does no body in this house like men anymore?

Son walks in

Son: I do!

[Pink.]

I sadly have 20% warning level with an a ccident, hopefully i can still enter :(

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7sLYNwevDQ

[Gladiators]

This is a nice thing to do. Good luck to everyone who enters this.

[Humanity]

There was a commander named Napolean. They were being attacked by the British so he said to his firstmate "Firstmate Nicholas, go get my red shirt" so he got his captains red shirt and he asks "Captain Napolean, why did you need this red shirt?" and than Napolean said "If I get shot, my men will keep fighting for me!".
2 hours later they were attacked by 200 British ships and when they first spotted them, the captain said "Firstmate Nicholas, go get my brown pants."...
Thank you c: I really hope I get to win L33T. Hope you all had a Merry Christmas!

[Impoofpooh]

A man was in a bar all day and he had to use the bathroom. He was in there for a while, yelling, so the barmaid reluctantly went to the bathroom to check on him.
"Sir, what are you yelling about? You're scaring the customers."
"Every time I try to flush the toilet something keeps biting my balls!"
"Sir, please get off the mop bucket."

Hai I'm poof :D

[Mdc1996]

There's an Air Force guy driving from McChord to Ft Lewis, and an Army guy driving from Ft Lewis to McChord. In the middle of the night with no other cars on the road they hit each other head on and both cars go flying off in different directions.
The Air Force guy manages to climb out of his car and surveys the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says,.."Man, I am really lucky to be alive!"

Likewise the Army guy scrambles out of his car and looks at his wreckage. He too says to himself, .. "I can't believe I survived this wreck!"

The Army guy walks over to the Air Force guy and says,.. "Hey man, I think this is a sign from God that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of archrivals"

The Air Force guy thinks for a moment and says, .. "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. Now I'm gonna see what else survived this wreck"

So the Air Force guy pops open his trunk and finds a full, unopened bottle of Jack Daniels.

He says to the Army guy, "I think this is another sign from God that we should toast to our new found understanding and friendship"

The Army guy replies, "You're damn right!" and he grabs the bottle and starts sucking down Jack Daniels. After putting away nearly half the bottle the Army guy hands it back to the Air Force guy and says, "Your turn!"

The Air Force guy twists the cap back on the bottle and says, "Nahh, I think I'll wait for the cops to show up."

[iKickCats]

Hey do you work in a farm? Because you seem to be raising a lot of cocks (;

[Captain Steve Rogers]

Today's Joke! A girl Said Trust Me....😏

[minimalist]

You want to hear a joke; that's it? Alrighty then, here goes.
A man walked into a pizza parlor - hungry, weak and in need of food.
A young petite woman, Italian, brought a pizza to the table upon request...
...wait no, this joke is too cheesy. Nevermind.
--
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
--
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
--
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
--
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
--
I'm glad I know sign language, it's pretty handy.

[typhoid]

lt rexagon sir i wanna be a big tiem hecker mester sked liek you.. i need 1337 to maek big tiem hecks! pick me sempai am most hq and deserving..

[fullofbanter]

Teacher : whoever answers my next question, can go home.
One boy throws his bag out the window
Teacher : who just threw that?!
Boy : Me! I’m going home now.

ROFL
merry christmas 🎉

[eedouardu44]

Today, I just obtain the NIGGA PASS ... It rocks !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NcAflj4lb2U