Apr 1, 2015 06:37 PM
(This post was last modified: Apr 1, 2015 07:06 PM by Terry A. Davis.)
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“Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it.” - Greg Anderson
“Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it.” - Greg Anderson
I have never been one for story telling, but today I will try my hand at it.
My name is Perfect Cell, this is my story from my beginnings to the top, of course when I say top I mean what I like to consider the peak of my time on HackFourms. This will differ from a lot of you as in a realistic light, what have I actually contributed other than "3 Months, 1 Week, 5 Days, 21 Hours, 52 Minutes, 39 Seconds" and counting. My story will be dull at times, and maybe interesting at others, although I hope to get my feelings across and how I feel about HackFourms. This style bring up old drama, but I feel like the drama I might raise will help with my personal story.
If you want a tl;dr version. There won't be one as this is open to how you think I feel. Don't ask for one.
My name is Perfect Cell, this is my story from my beginnings to the top, of course when I say top I mean what I like to consider the peak of my time on HackFourms. This will differ from a lot of you as in a realistic light, what have I actually contributed other than "3 Months, 1 Week, 5 Days, 21 Hours, 52 Minutes, 39 Seconds" and counting. My story will be dull at times, and maybe interesting at others, although I hope to get my feelings across and how I feel about HackFourms. This style bring up old drama, but I feel like the drama I might raise will help with my personal story.
If you want a tl;dr version. There won't be one as this is open to how you think I feel. Don't ask for one.
Beginning
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"Beginnings are always messy." - John Galsworthy
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"Beginnings are always messy." - John Galsworthy
3 Years ago... The stars seemed so high, I felt lost, I didn't know which of the many roads to take. I feel like I have taken the right road, as the road I took helped me get the best of all of what HackFourms had to offer me. I looked through the Beginner Hacking Section, I read, I learnt, I taught. I was shocked, so many people. They all wanted the same thing, I felt so helpless thinking I'd never know what all this around me meant, I look back at how scrubish I was, and wish I could go back to that me and guide me down a better path. Although I have already said the path I took was the best for me. I am not the person in my heart to leech stuff, I will try my best to give credit where I can, granted I haven't always lived up to this, but I try. I can't remember who it was, but the fist PM I remember doing was to a member for a "Hack Pack", this was back when Post&PM was still allowed, funny I never received the pack. I guess he thought I was just going to leave when I got it. Well, look at me now, I am boring everyone with my story. Around the 100 post mark I started gaining rep for helping in the Beginner Hacking Section by spoon feeding people. I guess that was my reward rep... The little green pixels I care so much about. For no reason other than it makes my E-Dick look big. Funny, I can admit it so easily. The first person I would've made friends with in my memory would've been Dolan he is a great guy, I am happy I still stay in contact with him when I can. He used to help with out with the scrub questions, it was always funny to see who could get there first. This is one of my more memorable moments as it was when I was getting in trouble for helping to hack my School. Oh, I don't regret that, I regret many things about my school, but we... Well I never didn't anything other than use the power to play games on my leaving party... Anyway, moving on. Interesting times ahead, I went on to meet Tony and Vandal. They are also pretty great guys, we had some great laughs on Skype. Also around this time I was looking for groups to join, and my first ever offical group would've had to have been Respawn. Hell of a time I had in that group, I loved every second of it, I had a sense of family online, we all got along, although deep down... I knew I was an outcast, I never showed myself in any other section than the Beginner Hacking Section at this point, I was an unkown. No one knew me, nothing. Although, they welcomed me, they made me laugh, they made me smile, now they're making me cry when I look back at those memories and that is all it is, as money changed the group... But more on that soon. I was fast approaching one year. This was an interesting time for me, I had joined Respawn and coming up on a year old. Oh how time flew. Another amazing thing happened around then. This kind user bought me l33t, I was stoked. A stranger on the internet doing something so generous. Now I had l33t and Respawn, I was contempt. A couple of months passed of the same stuff, Gaming weekends with Respawn, and college in the week. I was happy, thinking I am a respected member and cheerful. Then one night I was on Skype with Tony and Vandal after their fallout between each other, Vandal told me about a group called "root" he said I should apply to join them, I was shocked, I never once thought I would be able to get in a group like that, I knew I wouldn't stand a chance... But I applied, and got in. I nearly cried, I was so surprised they let me in, I never once thought I knew enough to be part of a community like that, however, as good as this is, this is only the start of my story, yes this story is very broad and open to interpretation on how I feel and what I was thinking, that is why I am trying to go for. So now, I had root and Respawn to keep tract of, I am enjoying myself and life is good for the next few months. Then.. Who? came along and got root fucked over(Not all him but most people should get the jist) and disbanded, I was shocked. I had lost a group I prided myself on being in. I kinda withdrew myself to try help in the Beginner Hacking Section, and talk with the people I had made friends with. Oh, how time flew by me, not a care in the world. Then one night, +Pirate came on Skype, the leader of Respawn, I was so scared not knowing if he was a strict leader or a nice leader, or just a normal guy. Turns out he was an amazing guy. We got along from the word go. I won't go to far into this as it is most of the same, with an extra person. I guess I would like to say this wall of text is a very broad overview of what happened in my first year in HackFourms.
Middle
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"It's all part of my journey - I've done a lot of stupid things, but you learn by your mistakes." - Ozzy Osbourne
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"It's all part of my journey - I've done a lot of stupid things, but you learn by your mistakes." - Ozzy Osbourne
Legion. The calm before a storm. I was in the high time of my life on HackFourms, I was active in Respawn, I was sad there was no hacking group, then I noticed Legion. A new hacking group, I applied. The night after I got a PM from Vinnie welcoming me to the group, I was stoked. Again, I seemingly had proven myself capable of being in a big name group, I was surrounded by like minded people. This would've been before Respawn turned into Innovation, we'll come to that soon. This was an interesting time in Respawn for me and a few other members. Kentucky joined Respawn and just outright paid for a leader position. Me and Dolan and a couple of other "OG" members took a stand against this and outright said "Fuck off, you earn respect from us and don't pay for it" Naturally any normal person would take offense to this and pretty much threatened to kick us, of course he ended up kicking us when we didn't back down. This was something I still feel strongly about, I will not stand for people joining groups paying and then somehow getting respect, so now me Dolan and the other members were kicked, however +Pirate was kind enough to hear us out and re-add us, I am thankful for his non-biased and agreeing with what we had to say. You may see it differently, it is your right to, but as this is the internet I am hereby entitled to say "Your opinion is wrong". Anyway, moving on. Me and Kentucky for the most part came to terms with our differences, we stayed out of each others way. It was once again peaceful, I didn't respect anyone more than +Pirate though, he was a leader I would love to be with again, he had a way of making everyone in Respawn feel involved and was the only one doing anything to help keep the group alive. Then it changed, one day Astonish decided out of nowhere to change the group, I was apposed to this, to this day I still am, Respawn was a thing that HackFourms needed. But no, he thought we needed another shitty monetizing group. Oh how well did that turn out when it went back to Respawn before dieing anyway. While this was happening, I was just posting along in Legion, reading the forum threads learning and sharing stuff as I had always loved to do. I was warming up to Anonymous, getting to know him, getting to respect him. At this point in my HF career I like to think my respect chain was Anonymous->+Pirate. Anon was a great leader, but he lacked the communication with his group and relied on an average rather than individual needs. Which as hard as it is I prefer the individual approach, I tried helping with it by offering services, but they never seemed to get anyway. I will touch on this more near the end of my story. I find... It weird. I have stood up for 2 things in one group, but both happened against my will because of Money. I know I am like a grain of sand on a beach trying to stop the tide. But I truly believed I could make the difference. I guess this is what you would call the high times of my career. It all goes downhill from here. When Respawn changed I got back into Innovation, and lurked, it was dead. Respawn wasn't active but at least we gamed Innovation was dead most of the time. After a few months I left Legion, I felt like I wasn't able to do anything. I hope to this day Anonymous doesn't hold it against me. However, this is the downward slope to where we are today.
End
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"Though the road's been rocky it sure feels good to me." - Bob Marley.
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"Though the road's been rocky it sure feels good to me." - Bob Marley.
Oh, where did it all go so wrong. Maybe investing 3 months total time into a site that at first made me feel at home, then went on to make me feel like shit. After leaving Legion, I just lurked and helped back in the Beginner Hacking Section (To This Day I am sure I have the most posts). Time went by day in and day out. Meeting new people making friends, but it wasn't the same for me, I felt compelled to come on the Forums, not genuinely excited to, it felt like a chore. Although, even with this, I got back into Legion. Thank you for the second Chance Anonymous. This was around the time they had the Student Teacher program, I again stood against this as it would make us a whore group and not offer anything other than for people to whore the group tag. I wasn't right nor wrong with this, a lot of people did whore the group tag, but the same amount were also really interested. Funny, I was told be brand myself as a student even with prior being in Legion, this was my second active streak, which died with me snapping at people for post whoring the lounge thread. I lurked, I offered help where I could, I tried. But no. Not to be, so Anonymous had the greatest idea to get a new leader, guess what? It wasn't anyone in Legion, it was a buy-in from Arianda Granda, another Kentucky in the making, came on the IRC and demanded respect from us, then went cryting Anonymous when we didn't give it. I was shocked Anonymous of all people would do this, I messaged him about it, and he outright said I could've got it if I asked. I guess I should've but, in my culture we don't ask, we get given if we deserve it. I don't hold it against him as much as most people would, but I was still heart broken, to make up for it, he made a poll saying who the leader should be, Goodies me and Arianda were the 3 in the lead, Goodies and Arianda drew, it was then clear to me the members who liked me as a leader were gone because I didn't get it, so sadly Arianda remained leader even though I would've prefered Goodies because he knew his shit and had proved it more than Arianda. Alas, not to be. So I died out again, this time permanently after a few months of riff raff in the sub forum, I said my farewells and left Legion for the final time. this is the low of my career on HackForms. I had no where to go but back up, and I didn't want to go back up. So here I am. Taking 6 month bans, and now writing this up. I have missed a lot in this story, I have put expanded time periods with no detail, but I hope this gives some insight to me as a person on HackForums. None of you probably know me, I guess that's how it is isn't it, I'd have to spend over $1000 to get known, most members are only known for either paying someone to do the work then taking credit, or spending money and getting those pixels, a select few like Stev in my mind are known for both.
The road is dark ahead, I don't know where I will head from here, I don't know if I will be welcomed or shunned, I don't know if anything I used to like is still around, I don't know if I should still hint for Mod of the Beginner Hacking Section like I used to. I don't know if anyone I used to talk to still comes here. I don't know... I know this isn't necessarily a feedback, but I feel like I needed to share this, even if it isn't relevant in anyway shape or form. Please, if you know who I am, take the time to read this, take the time to craft a reply, don't just post for the sake of posting, I want to hear your feelings towards me in your post.
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