[Nobilma]

So, to first start off im diffrent then all the kids at my school. I never had a real life friend before. And my life has been very strange. At a very young age, probably 4 or 5 I started doing a hand flap thing. I start flapping my hands then usually moving around while twirling then its like I go into another dimension of imaginary thoughts. I do this everyday and I try not to do it at school but I have caught my self many times doing it at school. I also flap my hands when I get excited. I have tried to quit a couple times and only managed to be flap free for about a day. I used to have really bad anxiety all the time, and have panic attacks everyday at school. I was really happy before I had anxiety. I still have the memories when I thought nothing could go wrong in life and I was so happy. I only had anxiety for about a year as I got counseling pretty quickly. I still have a little anxiety every once in awhile tho. After anxiety my life has fell apart. I have been depressed ever since I had anxiety. I have suicidal thoughts quite a bit but I always seem to talk myself out of it. It makes me mad seeing others happy. I get bullied a lot at school because the way I look. And it really hurts me, but im too nervous to tell somebody. My dad has also abused me many times as well. My parents believe there is nothing is wrong with me and I beg a differ.. I have always been a deep thinker about everything and sometimes overthink things. I understand why people kill and do horrible crimes, because I have thought about it many times. I know its a lot of problems im telling you but I wondering if it has to do with the following question. My question is, do you think im autistic? My brother says I am but my parents say im not.

[๖ۣۜSynapse]

I'd suggest talking to another adult you can trust. Hope everything turns out ok, hang in there OP!

[Robin Williams]

OP, first off talk to someone. I was/am suicidal, and i day dream about killing myself constantly. dont go down this road, its not a fun game to play. talk to someone, a trusted adult, and maybe see about seeing a therapist or a psychiatrist. they can help you.

[Deany]

Don't worry, we're all a little autistic.

[SIM-3117939]

You may or may not be on the Autism/Asperger's spectrum...if you are, its pretty common actually and many people you would not expect to have it do, people like Dan Aykroyd, Daryl Hannah, James Durbin, Susan Boyle and others (good article on Huffington post). My step daughter has Aspergers and it was rough on her, more so until we figured out what she was dealing with. I noticed the hand flapping years ago and wondered what it meant and Googled it and found out what was going on with her and me and her mother began looking at ways to help her. Despite her struggles, with strong family support and counseling, she has done well in school and is attending college to be a RN. She is very smart, but has the same symptoms as you and has struggled socially. My advice is to get support for yourself through a counselor, your family and friends and area Aspy groups . Good luck and hang in there!

[m...]

I never had a real life friend before. And my life has been very strange. At a very young age, probably 4 or 5 I started doing a hand flap thing.

You were just a child, what do you expect? No one else had friends either at those ages. It's normal to feel this way.
The hand flapping thing seems to be nothing more than a habit you've developed and kept up with, perhaps it helps you deal with emotions?

It makes me mad seeing others happy. I get bullied a lot at school because the way I look. And it really hurts me, but im too nervous to tell somebody.

Everyone has gotten bullied to some extent, but I would see it as a good thing. The more shit you have to put with early on, the all around better for you long term.

My question is, do you think im autistic? My brother says I am but my parents say im not.

You seem very functional to me and in tune with yourself, so I say the answer to that question doesn't matter. If you must, then go with what your parents say, as they raised you; they know you the best.

Seems to me that you've been maturing gradually and turning into an adult, so look forward to the future.

[Lorenzo Gucci]

So, to first start off im diffrent then all the kids at my school. I never had a real life friend before. And my life has been very strange. At a very young age, probably 4 or 5 I started doing a hand flap thing. I start flapping my hands then usually moving around while twirling then its like I go into another dimension of imaginary thoughts. I do this everyday and I try not to do it at school but I have caught my self many times doing it at school. I also flap my hands when I get excited. I have tried to quit a couple times and only managed to be flap free for about a day. I used to have really bad anxiety all the time, and have panic attacks everyday at school. I was really happy before I had anxiety. I still have the memories when I thought nothing could go wrong in life and I was so happy. I only had anxiety for about a year as I got counseling pretty quickly. I still have a little anxiety every once in awhile tho. After anxiety my life has fell apart. I have been depressed ever since I had anxiety. I have suicidal thoughts quite a bit but I always seem to talk myself out of it. It makes me mad seeing others happy. I get bullied a lot at school because the way I look. And it really hurts me, but im too nervous to tell somebody. My dad has also abused me many times as well. My parents believe there is nothing is wrong with me and I beg a differ.. I have always been a deep thinker about everything and sometimes overthink things. I understand why people kill and do horrible crimes, because I have thought about it many times. I know its a lot of problems im telling you but I wondering if it has to do with the following question. My question is, do you think im autistic? My brother says I am but my parents say im not.

Yes, I think you're mildy autistic.

Good-luck with solving your problems OP, most of us deal with things like this on the daily.

Stay strong.

[typhoid]

can you teach me how to do that hand flap thing

[Pillows]

In my point of view you're not. You just have anxiety and a history of abuse. If you do believe that you have autism, I would recommend getting speaking to your physician so they can either diagnose you or refer you to someone who specializes in the neurological field. In any case, best thing to do is live your life the way you are and look at the happy side of life.

[devnull]

Ehh, I wrote a paragraph but erased it. I was going to say from the explaining of symptoms you have, you may quite possibly have Asperger's but then I do agree with @Pillows, @m... and @spacecowboyfromhell. The best thing to do is contact your physician and diagnose you if you are concerned and by reading your post, I highly suggest it. If you need someone to talk too, I'm here.

[๖ۣۜDark Psychosis]

Hey man, I have Asperger's, a higher functioning form of autism. I also have been physically and verbally abused my whole life. However I'm extremely high functioning and volunteer at places that assist people who are on the ASD Spectrum. As many others said, a lot of the things you mentioned are signs of mid-low functioning aspergers/autism. To start, you might want to see a psychiatrist/psychologist. If you want to control the hand flapping, I highly recommend getting a stress ball or something to move in your hands to keep you sidetracked. In regards to abuse, there is always places you can go to get help in those scenarios. I know in Canada it's CAS (childrens aid services) but I don't know what it would be for where you are located. As well, suicidal thoughts can be caused from abused. In regards to the bullies, fuck em. Ignore them and show who is the bigger man. Know they are probably saying that because they are jealous or are self-cautious. Finally, if you need someone to talk to, hit me a pm and if you want I can give you my skype 😁 also on a side note IGNORE some of the people on here who might post stupid and rude shit. 🤝

[sick24033]

honestly I'd first talk to an adult I trust, and/or your family physician. Hope all goes well dude

[SIM-3092053]

Get help from a professional, forget your parents, they are clearly not doing their job. Don't worry man, get a friend or your brother to take you to see a professional.

[NiceMe.Me]

I think you might have it. There is a kid at my school who has been diagnosed with it and he does the hand flapping thing when he gets really excited. Get help from a professional my dude :)


Ps: im sorry your dad abused you