[funtela]

What’s up everyone! First of all, I just want to say thank you to HF and everyone in it. I wouldn’t have a roof over my head today if it wasn’t for this forum and learning how to monetize my time on my PC, phone, etc.

I’d like to keep this on topic, but it’s important to mention where I’m coming from. I spent the last 10+ years addicted to a certain medication. This medication ruined my life. It was prescribed to me after a panic attack at 18. My addictive personality didn’t help. By 23 years old, I was taking over 20mg of Xanax on a daily basis. I was taking 3-4 full 2mg pills 3x a day. This was just to feel normal.

It helped with my anxiety, at first. But it just made it worse and worse overtime. Eventually, depression came down hard. Suicidal thoughts, derealization, depersonalization, social awkwardness, I can go on and on about the long term affects of Xanax, but that’s not a part of my life anymore, so let’s move forward.

I feel like my brain is literally repairing itself every single day since I stopped taking that crap. It was a long road and a slow taper due to multiple seizures trying to quit cold turkey. I’ve been completely off of Xanax as of December 7th, 2019. And I’ve never felt better. I’m feeling like myself again. Not just someone who’s waiting for the day to end. I’m realizing more and more of the amount of time I’ve been wasting. Realizing that there’s so much more that I could’ve done, instead of numbing myself to the world.

This next year is going to be my year. There are SO many things I’d love to try. New skills, opportunities, etc. I’ve been doing just enough to pay the bills the last few years. Since nothing mattered, I didn’t have a motivation to make extra money to save up, travel, or do whatever the hell I wanted. But if I was able to earn around $1.5k per month (cost of rent, car, utilities) doing to ABSOLUTE minimum, I can’t imagine what I’m capable of doing if I actually got off my ass. I would spend 12+ hours a day just getting high and either watching tv, playing Xbox, or just on my phone. I had no life. I don’t know how I managed to get everything paid, but I know I have HF to thank for that. This forum has taught me everything.

I remember a time off of Xanax where I was making over $500/day off of CPA/PPI. Something that BARELY interested me. But I was good at it. I remember playing guitar in high school and being first chair. I remember being the top student in TV Production and film class. I fugging love all that. And I’ve forgotten about it. I’ve forgotten about what I love. I’ve forgotten my passions, my drive, my motivation. But I’m now on a journey to find it.

I’m going into 2020 with 2020 vision. I still don’t know what I want, but I now know exactly how to find it. Let’s all stay focused and motivate each other in whatever goals were aiming to achieve this year. Everyone seems to have a great attitude towards this year and I fugging love it.

Love you all! Thank you to those close friends I’ve made here that have listened, gave me advice, and helped me get through anything. You guys have helped more than anyone I know in real life.

[Moon Clown]

Get it! Glad to see someone else getting ready to make 2020 their bitch.

[hayesh]

Get it! Glad to see someone else getting ready to make 2020 their bitch.

2020 will also be my bitch

[Psychedelic.]

2020 will also be my bitch

I sorta say that every year but 2019, esp the summer was my bitch

[funtela]

Get it! Glad to see someone else getting ready to make 2020 their bitch.

Hell yea dude! Let’s all succeed! :)

[LoremIpsum]

You are a great motivational speaker, because it comes from your heart.

This line, grabbed me emotionally pretty hard;

I’ve forgotten about what I love. I’ve forgotten my passions, my drive, my motivation. But I’m now on a journey to find it.

This is what I often feel like. I used to 'love' doing things so much, but after going through some really bad sh*t I decided to leave things be as they were. Finding myself doing less and less of what I loved to do and more and more abuse of the time I have free, by 'chilling' or just being mind-numbed stoned or high to forget the things that happened instead of dealing with them and being creative busy.

Thank you for posting this, it helps me a lot. Perhaps not what you intended to do, but I really appreciate this. 🤝

[funtela]

You are a great motivational speaker, because it comes from your heart.

This line, grabbed me emotionally pretty hard;

This is what I often feel like. I used to 'love' doing things so much, but after going through some really bad sh*t I decided to leave things be as they were. Finding myself doing less and less of what I loved to do and more and more abuse of the time I have free, by 'chilling' or just being mind-numbed stoned or high to forget the things that happened instead of dealing with them and being creative busy.

Thank you for posting this, it helps me a lot. Perhaps not what you intended to do, but I really appreciate this. 🤝

That’s exactly how I’ve spent the last 3 years. Mind-numbed stoned. I’d catch myself sitting on my PC chair just browsing Instagram or Facebook. Waiting for my “free” time to finish so I can just close my eyes and repeat the process the following day.

I’m glad this sparked something inside, dude. We’re both fully aware of what’s happened to us. It’s the first step. So we’re definitely on the correct path.

[0l1v14]

Good luck OP, I hope you find happiness in whatever you end up doing.

[LoremIpsum]

That’s exactly how I’ve spent the last 3 years. Mind-numbed stoned. I’d catch myself sitting on my PC chair just browsing Instagram or Facebook. Waiting for my “free” time to finish so I can just close my eyes and repeat the process the following day.

I’m glad this sparked something inside, dude. We’re both fully aware of what’s happened to us. It’s the first step. So we’re definitely on the correct path.

I'm always pretty aware of what's happening to me, emotionally, financially or physically, but I don't always feel the need to take action.
I miss the days where I came home from work, browsed the PC and started my own internet things like a real business. Nowadays I feel more like doing nothing and just 'wasting' my time instead of actively doing something I love doing. On the other hand, I 'woke' up from the boring stuff though, I don't enjoy watching TV shows anymore or just 'watching TV' in general. I feel like it's dumbing me down which is a feeling I rather not have.

I'm glad you posted this, it's an eye opener my man 🤝

[HEISENPUG]

I just found out today that i have a IQ so thats a good way to start of the new year.

[N]

I must say, I’ve witnessed most of your growth and development on HF through your threads. I remember when you got your apartment and was struggling.

Glad to see you’re on the right path. I wish you all the best in 2020, keep focus and keep grinding, good things are in store.

[Mullet Muscle]

Stay focused man.
Going into the year is the easy part, its coming out of the year making it the whole way through.

[funtela]

I must say, I’ve witnessed most of your growth and development on HF through your threads. I remember when you got your apartment and was struggling.

Glad to see you’re on the right path. I wish you all the best in 2020, keep focus and keep grinding, good things are in store.

Thanks man. I appreciate you remembering that. I scroll through my old threads sometimes and remember the bad places I’ve been in.

Good things are indeed in store for 2020.

[Fish]

Go ahead and attack 2020 even better than all the previous years! I’m sure we can all do that

[Dhoroty]

I hope 2020 will also be my bitch, as well all yours too!