[Citoa]

This is a topic that I have been rolling around in my head for a few years.
I want to be a psychopath.
But not the psychopaths depicted in movies that go on murder sprees and ruin everyones lives.
I want to just not feel emotions. For the last 1-2 years I have been trying to train myself not to feel. Watching some videos and movies that are sad and trying to rationalize them so I don't get sad. Or listening to stories my friends tell me and intentionally trying to not care on the inside and to put on a mask of caring on the outside. I have also imagined some events in life that usually bring emotion and rationalized them as well ( for example death of my mother, death of an animal, being disowned, losing everything I own and living on the streets ). I tell myself that these are just normal things that happen every day to people. I start thinking about how small those problems are compared to everything else and the feelings just numb down.
Thus far it has worked to some extent. Now I don't actually sympathize with people like I used to. I just act like it. I don't feel much sadness, excitement or happiness anymore. But there are still traces of it.
What are your thoughts on this? Do you think it is something good or something bad? Do you think I should keep going and remove every humane thing in me? I need some opinions so I can decide what to do from now on.

[Stevensan]

I suffer from PTSD and OCD. A part of me is very sensitive. I don't want to hurt people that I like. I want to help them as much as I can. A part of me is emotionless. I can kill and torture someone without any feelings. I have ridiculous thoughts. I want to take revenge on people who have hurt me in the past. I want to stab people in the face that I hate. The only thing I can do is hang around with positive people. Avoid negative people. Also talking with Christians reduces my revenge feelings.

[Bossk]

Your goal here seems very retarded.

Psychopathology is not something that you can obtain through training, and it's certainly not something that you'd want. The human evolved into having feelings for a reason. You should instead focus on processing whatever is making you sad instead of trying to deny it.

[Soaaponarope]

Sounds more like you want to be a sociopath rather than a psychopath. A sociopath doesn't feel emotions for others to where a psychopath are more like the movie serial killers haha.

[Mullet Muscle]

Sounds like you're an emotional wreck and trying your hardest to hide it and not be so emotional.

[Bossk]

Sounds more like you want to be a sociopath rather than a psychopath.   A sociopath doesn't feel emotions for others to where a psychopath are more like the movie serial killers haha.

The two share very similar traits, what OP is describing could fit either.

[spiral]

I think you have something wrong with you tbh. strange

[Cooligan]

"I want to just not feel emotions.

I think what you're looking for here is a sociopath, not a psychopath.

[iabm123]

You honestly sound like an edgy teen and I'm surprised you don't have a Joker profile picture.
I actually hope you are at least under 18, because then at least it's just a phase.
If you are over 18, time to grow up man and start talking and being honest about whatever it is you're going through.

[Fish]

I wouldn’t necessarily say that’s the right goal to have in mind...

[James Burnham]

Look into stoic philosophy. Maybe it's what you 're looking for.

[G-DopE]

I suffer from PTSD and OCD. A part of me is very sensitive. I don't want to hurt people that I like. I want to help them as much as I can. A part of me is emotionless. I can kill and torture someone without any feelings. I have ridiculous thoughts. I want to take revenge on people who have hurt me in the past. I want to stab people in the face that I hate. The only thing I can do is hang around with positive people. Avoid negative people. Also talking with Christians reduces my revenge feelings.

Boy I am with you on that. You just described me perfectly and I too think I have OCD just not diagnosed really but I have come to a solid conclusion that I do have it since a kid. Anyhow I am the same if someone is good with me I am 100 times better with them and do anything for them as if they are family but if somebody crosses me I just start thinking of the nastiest revenges ever and really am ready to absolutely destroy someone anyway possible even kill them just because of the nasty shit they've done to me even if it's something very minor.

OP no offence but what your saying is that your too weak to handle perfectly normal emotions and rather be a psycho so that you don't feel anything. Emotions are a good thing you just need to know how to embrace them. Without emotions your just a living robot. Psychopaths aren't happy people I can guarantee you that. Yeah they don't feel shit but they aren't happy because of this very reason.

[Moon Clown]

No one truly wants to be a psycho... It's just romanticized to much.
It doesn't feel good hurting people and then having to deal with how it affects you down the road.

[SIM-3343347]

Just don't feel it? It is not hard...
Well, it is at some point...
Are you sure?

[Citoa]

Your goal here seems very retarded.

Psychopathology is not something that you can obtain through training, and it's certainly not something that you'd want. The human evolved into having feelings for a reason. You should instead focus on processing whatever is making you sad instead of trying to deny it.

I don't think I can obtain true psychopathy through training. And I am actually not sad. I don't have anything in my life bothering me right now. I have just seen a lot of my friends get hurt because of how nice they are to other people and because of their high moral. And to me it seems to be a total minus to have moral or to be nice to people who have hurt you. Of course I don't want to go on and murder anyone but I also don't want to be blinded by feelings and emotion.

Sounds like you're an emotional wreck and trying your hardest to hide it and not be so emotional.

There is probably some truth to that.

I think you have something wrong with you tbh. strange

Well yeah... I think so too. I just don't show it or talk about it to other people. I don't want to be an outcast.

You honestly sound like an edgy teen and I'm surprised you don't have a Joker profile picture.
I actually hope you are at least under 18, because then at least it's just a phase.
If you are over 18, time to grow up man and start talking and being honest about whatever it is you're going through.

I didn't mean for it to sound edgy. I am honestly thinking about how emotions and feelings affect us and thus far I don't see much positives. Stories from my friends confirm that.

Look into stoic philosophy. Maybe it's what you 're looking for.

Thanks for the suggestion. I skimmed through the wikipedia page and honestly I haven't thought about separating the sad emotions and the happy ones. I have always thought about them as one whole thing. Maybe I will try a different approach.

OP no offence but what your saying is that your too weak to handle perfectly normal emotions and rather be a psycho so that you don't feel anything. Emotions are a good thing  you just need to know how to embrace them. Without emotions your just a living robot. Psychopaths aren't happy people I can guarantee you that. Yeah they don't feel Clay Davis but they aren't happy because of this very reason.

I can handle emotions. They just seem too impractical. I guess I need to see what my life is about. If it is about being happy or about materialistic needs.

No one truly wants to be a psycho... It's just romanticized to much.
It doesn't feel good hurting people and then having to deal with how it affects you down the road.

I don't want to hurt people who haven't crossed me in any way. I just don't want to deal with people who have hurt me. For that to work I need to not feel sympathy for them.

Just don't feel it? It is not hard...
Well, it is at some point...
Are you sure?

I am trying to not feel it. It is hard to numb those feelings down but it is working. I don't know if at some point I will burst like a bubble but for now I am fine. And I am not sure about wanting to be a psychopath. I am making this thread to read some other viewpoints and reassess my position on this topic if I need to.