I've always had a bad temper, I get angry at inappropriate things, and tend to really tear people down, if I'm angry enough. I know it's not right, but on the other hand, I feel as if my vengeful rage is justified, because people are being stupid, or inconsiderate, or talking out of turn. I feel as if people should know their place when speaking with me, because I really do think I'm smarter and better than just about everyone else, and I hate having to speak to people on their terms, instead of my own. I really don't care what other people have to say about anything, at least not in real life. Online, is a different story. But in real life, I just wait for the other person to stop talking, so I can get in my enlightened words of wisdom. Also, I feel as if I have multiple different personalities, one of them being a "Jesus freak" personality. This personality makes me think I really don't have the kind of love inside of me that people need from me, so instead, I say "Jesus loves you" or something like that, so that the other person at least gets [i]some[i] kind of love. I've never been able to connect with anyone emotionally. Most regrettably, my (now ex) girlfriend, Michelle. Our sex life was great, but that was the only good thing about our relationship, or so I thought. After she dumped me, she would say what good times we had, while hanging out, and I was just confused. I never thought of those times as "good times". In fact, I only thought of them as tedious, but necessary, steps I had to take, in order to get more sex from her. I used to have friends, but one night, after they had invited me over, I got high on weed, met up with them, and proceeded to act like a total jackass. I was throwing nasty jokes, calling one of my friends a pussy, and broke some stuff. So they never invited me over again after that. I had a best friend, who I would hang out with a lot, and I fucked up things with him as well. I knew he believed in God, so one day I texted him, "Your God is a worthless cocksucker". I have no idea why. I've been to the psych ward several times. I am currently medicated. Can anyone relate to any of this?
My temper and personality |
Damn, that sounds like some serious mental problems.
Have you thought about seeing a therapist? What kind of medication are you on? (Aug 8, 2021 05:47 AM)T0Bi Wrote: Damn, that sounds like some serious mental problems. I've been to lots of therapy, with different therapists, some better than others. I'm not sure if it actually helped, or if it was all just a waste of time. I take an anti-psychotic, an anti-depressant, and a mood stabilizer.  |
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