Recently found out a best friend of mine has been in prison for several years ( i thought he ghosted me ) shortly after highschool for child molestation. What would you do? Would you write? Give you cell for him to call? Would you even want their side of the story?
Looks like his estimated release date is 2037 so its gotta be some pretty intense charges.
Side note: i have a baby girl due early jaanurary.
Child molestation is not good i wouldn't keep in touch with the guy.
maybe if it was another crime
No, i wouldn't make any contact with anyone from highschool.
You say "best friend" but you weren't close enough to know that he went to prison, so surely you can't have been that tight. I'd try and find out a little bit about what happened first, but kiddie fiddling is not a good look.
My best friend from highschool actually did go to prison, but for drug dealing. He's doing much better now.
(Dec 29, 2021 09:37 AM)noEsc Wrote: Recently found out a best friend of mine has been in prison for several years ( i thought he ghosted me ) shortly after highschool for child molestation. What would you do? Would you write? Give you cell for him to call? Would you even want their side of the story?
Looks like his estimated release date is 2037 so its gotta be some pretty intense charges.
Side note: i have a baby girl due early jaanurary.
Let me put it this way... A wise man always wants to know two sides of the coin, no matter how they present themselves. I would dismiss any judgment myself until I had the full picture and all the facts. Then I would make my judgment based on undeniable facts and finally my own beliefs and morals. It seems to me that this is the right approach to the matter.
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Dec 29, 2021 10:05 AM
(This post was last modified: Dec 29, 2021 10:06 AM by noEsc.)
(Dec 29, 2021 09:53 AM)bevc Wrote: You say "best friend" but you weren't close enough to know that he went to prison, so surely you can't have been that tight. I'd try and find out a little bit about what happened first, but kiddie fiddling is not a good look.
My best friend from highschool actually did go to prison, but for drug dealing. He's doing much better now.
well i wasnt close to his family to know what happened because hes adopted and he was very sheltered. i wasnt allowed over to his house or anything. he was a very very smart dude, always straight A's. then he went into the military and we would hangout when he was on leave, so i really didnt have much contact with his family when this all went down.
(Dec 29, 2021 10:01 AM)2xTheTap115 Wrote: Let me put it this way... A wise man always wants to know two sides of the coin, no matter how they present themselves. I would dismiss any judgment myself until I had the full picture and all the facts. Then I would make my judgment based on undeniable facts and finally my own beliefs and morals. It seems to me that this is the right approach to the matter.
this is kind of where im leaning... i mean its not like hes going to be out of prison anytime soon....
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No he's a lost cause, prison will likely turn him gay and he will probably be changed a lot, sex offenders in prison are the ones that get beat up n gang raped or just beat n killed. Remind you a good percentage of prisoners are in there for life and don't mind catching more charges since their already trapped.
There is always a chance for early release, but like you said, you're having a baby girl soon, you do not want someone like that around your children no matter how close you once we're with them.
Sorry to hear about that but shit it's his own fault.
Sorry to hear about that, you can research into his case without talking to him, if he pleaded guilty then some of the stuff you hear about it may be true.
First off he is in prison for child molestation, he belongs there. He is not your friend, he is a sexual predator and offender. It sounds like you can live your life without having any contact with him at all. You really think he would tell you his side of the story and be truthful, doubtful. These people are terrible and have no conscience. If he was in prison for drugs or something that would be different, you can offer him support. However, a crime like this has no defense and rehabilitation of sexual offenders is often futile. I would not have any contact with this guy.
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(Dec 29, 2021 11:09 AM)bk randy Wrote: Sorry to hear about that but shit it's his own fault.
Sorry to hear about that, you can research into his case without talking to him, if he pleaded guilty then some of the stuff you hear about it may be true.
Is it though? i kind of want to hear his side of the story you know? But i also dont want to be biased either you know? Im sure my wife wouldnt like the idea of him around when/if he gets out... i probably wouldnt.
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(Dec 29, 2021 11:46 AM)noEsc Wrote: Is it though? i kind of want to hear his side of the story you know? But i also dont want to be biased either you know? Im sure my wife wouldnt like the idea of him around when/if he gets out... i probably wouldnt.
Well when you plead guilty they will go into detail of shat exactly happened with everything, what exactly happened and all, then you say yes I plead guilty to everything you said, and then they leave the courtroom and go to jail, then get shipped to prison.
So if you can find some info about his trial then you might be able to find out what he pleaded to at least. I get that he was your friend but sometimes shit happens and it's best to keep your distance and definitely don't let someone fresh out of prison for sex charges around your family, that place will change him, unfortunately, but there isn't much you can do but accept it and move on.
If you send him mail or money he will probably remember it til he gets out and start asking for more favors, possibly, I wouldn't risk it, just let him forget about you.
I know it's a bit hard, I had a friend for like 13+ years and we had a big falling out, he was my best friend but I always questioned his motives. It's hard not talk to someone like that anymore but it's honestly been a great decision so far.
Anyway, you can make your own choice but I personally think it's a bit weird to even want to talk to someone that got wrapped up in a sex case with a minor. I'm sure your family will probably think the same. No offense.
(Dec 29, 2021 01:00 PM)bk randy Wrote: I know it's a bit hard, I had a friend for like 13+ years and we had a big falling out, he was my best friend but I always questioned his motives. It's hard not talk to someone like that anymore but it's honestly been a great decision so far.
Some people you grow apart from, there are some friends I have from school I'm still friends with, some that I wouldn't want to speak to ever again - I don't wish them ill, I hope they're happy, but I can't see any benefit at all in having contact with them. That's life. If you're not sure of someone's motives, best to leave them be. I agree that it's probably best for OP to see what he can find out about the case, but then leave alone.
I would let that guy rot in prison
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(Dec 29, 2021 09:37 AM)noEsc Wrote: Recently found out a best friend of mine has been in prison for several years ( i thought he ghosted me ) shortly after highschool for child molestation. What would you do? Would you write? Give you cell for him to call? Would you even want their side of the story?
Looks like his estimated release date is 2037 so its gotta be some pretty intense charges.
Side note: i have a baby girl due early jaanurary.
I'd call up, ask what happened to him and why he did it. I'd ask did he think of what would or could happen. I'd ask if he regretted it, and i'd let him know my thoughts on it, and hang up. Never to be spoken to again.
Depends. If he fucked some 16 years old hoe, better call him and make sure he has everything. If he fucked a real child like 12 years old, fuck him. Let him rot in there.
If he's in prison for it that means he likely took a plea deal which means police likely had evidence he had molested a child, if he's in prison awaiting trial you could see about getting in touch with him but if he's already convicted (and I'm not saying people aren't ever falsely convicted of things) I'd say you're better off just moving on
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