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From Near-Death Experience to Intergalactic Resume Writer: The Story of Moe

My name is Moe and I am a professional resume writer. Before 2016, I lived a very self-centered life. However, a near-death experience (NDE) in 2016 completely changed my perspective. As I lay there on the side of the road after a car accident, I had a vision of my life flashing before my eyes and realized how short and precious life is. From that moment on, I made a promise to myself to be more selfless and help others whenever I could.
One day, while driving down a deserted road, I came across a woman who seemed to be in distress with a flat tire on her car. Without hesitation, I pulled over to help her and changed the tire. While I was working, I had the feeling that something was off about the woman. It wasn't until she revealed her true identity as an alien from a distant planet called Resumo that I realized my suspicions were correct. The alien, who was disguised as a human, was grateful for my kindness and decided to reveal her true identity to me.
Shana, the alien, told me about her home planet which was a part of a federation of planets. She explained that her planet, Resumo, was home to an ancient civilization that was responsible for writing resumes for the entire galaxy. Shana's name was so hard to write in English as it contained sounds that couldn't be said or heard by humans and the closest approximation to it was shananenenenagrlivanga. For short, we agreed to call her Shana. After I helped her, the car transformed into a spaceship with a strange design that looked like non-Euclidean geometry. Shana told me that they had detected my resume-writing expertise from her planet and had decided to test me to see if I was as kind as I was good at writing resumes, as a resume writer needs to have empathy.

Because I passed the test, Shana bestowed upon me the honor of becoming Resumo's representative on Earth. She downloaded the entire repository of resume writing knowledge from Resumo into my brain, which contained all the resume knowledge in the federation of planets. However, because Earth is not a part of the federation, Earth's knowledge is not included in the repository. Because I also have Earth's knowledge of resume writing, this made me the greatest resume writer in this universe and in the two universes that border it on both sides.

Shana explained that she didn't choose to come to Earth, but she had to in order to support her family. She said that she needed her salary from her job on Earth to help provide for her loved ones back on her home planet. She confided in me that her dream job was to be a general on an intergalactic ship, fighting space pirates and protecting her home planet. She knew that with my help as the greatest resume writer in the universe, she could land her dream job and make her family proud. 
I'm proud to say that thanks to my help, Shana was able to land her dream job as a general on an intergalactic ship, fighting space pirates and protecting her home planet.

As a result of my alien encounter, I started by offering my services on Reddit, where I was able to assist over 450 clients. From there, I created my own resume website and used the information given to me by Shana to help even more people improve their job prospects and find their dream careers.
Now, I take orders from all over the universe using Universanet, an interplanetary internet that connects beings from all over the universe together. Being able to access Universanet made me one of 10 Earthlings who have access to the interplanetary network. I'll admit, the overflow of universal resume requests sometimes causes delays in fulfilling orders from Earthlings. Nevertheless, I am grateful for the opportunity to use my skills and knowledge to help beings from all corners of the universe write their resumes and find employment in any plane of existence they may be, not sure if you know but some planets only look barren to us but in reality, you need to have a phasing device that changes the vibrational frequency of your molecules so you can access other planes of existence. Mars is the closest planet to us with this property, also, FYI, Martians are so funny and generous, they honestly tip like crazy, and I'm proud to say that some of my closest friends now come from Mars. :)

This concludes my story for today and what I wanted to share with all the good members of HackForums, I know that my crazy story was only possible thanks to the kindness of an alien who decided to leave her diamond-shaped planet and come to help an earthling brushup his resume-writing skills, Thank you, Shana, wherever you may be.

Your friend, always and Forever
Moe


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