Jul 21, 2025 05:05 PM
(This post was last modified: Aug 25, 2025 09:50 AM by Eran.)
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ From Breakdown to Breakthrough ˚☽˚｡⋆
✦ My 2025 Awakening ✦
A Personal Journey
✦ My 2025 Awakening ✦
A Personal Journey
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✦ Prologue ✦
At first I wasn't sure if I wanted to share this story.
Not during the moments when I knew something deep was shifting inside me — when it felt like my entire timeline was bending into something new.
After all, there is something sacred about stories like these.
But it's one of those things that just feel right and you have the un-explainable, overwhelming urge to share with the world.
Not a rushed kind of urge, but something that just sits well with your soul.
This is a story of synchronicities, divine timing, full-circle moments — and those cosmic jokes life throws at you, the kind that don’t make sense at the time... but eventually reveal exactly why they had to happen.
The first half of 2025 almost broke me.
But something started shifting in late June - subtly and then rapidly mid July.
This thread isn't just mine.
It might be yours too.
Maybe the reason I feel so compelled to share this is because someone out there needs it...
Maybe you stumbled upon this thread at the exact right time...
If you're in the middle of your storm, this is a reminder: it doesn't end here.
Not during the moments when I knew something deep was shifting inside me — when it felt like my entire timeline was bending into something new.
After all, there is something sacred about stories like these.
But it's one of those things that just feel right and you have the un-explainable, overwhelming urge to share with the world.
Not a rushed kind of urge, but something that just sits well with your soul.
This is a story of synchronicities, divine timing, full-circle moments — and those cosmic jokes life throws at you, the kind that don’t make sense at the time... but eventually reveal exactly why they had to happen.
The first half of 2025 almost broke me.
But something started shifting in late June - subtly and then rapidly mid July.
This thread isn't just mine.
It might be yours too.
Maybe the reason I feel so compelled to share this is because someone out there needs it...
Maybe you stumbled upon this thread at the exact right time...
If you're in the middle of your storm, this is a reminder: it doesn't end here.
⋆｡°✩━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━✩°｡⋆
✦ The Breakdown ✦
The memories of the last days of 2024 are still fresh in my mind like it was yesterday. I could feel that 2025 would be an amazing year. The tone was just different.
I spent the last week of the year decorating my home, spending time with family and preparing my house for a NYE party with 3 of my closest friends. Everything about that night was just gratitude, love, positive vibes and unity.
I had set up 2 0 2 5 balloons in my living room, and those were the only holiday decorations I left up.
And 2025 was off to a good start.
I started journaling and haven't missed a single day. Every night I would sit down, meditate, and unload my thoughts onto paper - something I found serenity in after a rough day. I'm reading the same journal as I'm writing this story, almost 7 months later.
Just two weeks into the year, every one of my bank accounts was frozen over an unpaid debt. And legally, a good chunk of my paycheck would have been taken automatically by the bank until the debt was paid off in full. I saw it coming, it just hit at a very bad period (or so I thought, at the time).
Financial stress wasn’t the only weight I was carrying. I had, and if I'm being honest, still have a bad habit with weed. Although lately I'm being able to control it more by using a more mindful approach. Oh and alcohol too — though I’m proud to say I’m over one month clean now. Social media and doomscrolling? That too. I knew the toxic social media was to my mental health though it's a habit I'm actively battling and the future looks much brighter now.
A few weeks later, I lost my job. Well, they didn't extend my contract. Honestly, it came out of nowhere. Although I was miserable at that place and knew I wouldn't stay long, I did the job and I did it pretty well.
Around that time my insomnia came back. I got out of routine real quick which messed up my sleep schedule. Anxiety and paranoia had me in a chokehold. I thought I would had it together and would have handled the unemployment period better, but I did not. A huge shoulder off my shoulders was lifted though, as I really hated that job.
At the same time, I had a falling out with a group that I had been a part of for 3 years which I have to admit, hit me emotionally hard, under the circumstances.
It took me 45 days to land another job, and that stretch was both mentally and financially brutal. The tensions in my family were heating up. My old friendships didn't feel the same at the time and I felt detached. I've lost my confidence and spent much time isolated which was clearly taking a huge toll on my overall wellbeing. It didn't help that at the time my entire crypto portfolio was crashing, and as a first time investor, I panicked.
For so many times, I wanted to pop the balloons because the year felt like hell - but something in me was hesitant and kept them up...
When I finally got hired again, I thought things would settle. But two days leading up to my first day at the job, I simply couldn't sleep. Nothing helped at all. I had been living in survival mode for so long, and the stress was piling so much that I just couldn't find peace. I've completed my first day, although completely unfocused and dissociated. I was beyond exhausted, and I was sure I would sleep that night - but no, the same thing repeated again. I had to call in sick the next 2 days so I could catch up on sleep. The muscle spasms from not sleeping were too much and the dissociation was intense.
When will it end, I thought...
I spent the last week of the year decorating my home, spending time with family and preparing my house for a NYE party with 3 of my closest friends. Everything about that night was just gratitude, love, positive vibes and unity.
I had set up 2 0 2 5 balloons in my living room, and those were the only holiday decorations I left up.
And 2025 was off to a good start.
I started journaling and haven't missed a single day. Every night I would sit down, meditate, and unload my thoughts onto paper - something I found serenity in after a rough day. I'm reading the same journal as I'm writing this story, almost 7 months later.
Just two weeks into the year, every one of my bank accounts was frozen over an unpaid debt. And legally, a good chunk of my paycheck would have been taken automatically by the bank until the debt was paid off in full. I saw it coming, it just hit at a very bad period (or so I thought, at the time).
Financial stress wasn’t the only weight I was carrying. I had, and if I'm being honest, still have a bad habit with weed. Although lately I'm being able to control it more by using a more mindful approach. Oh and alcohol too — though I’m proud to say I’m over one month clean now. Social media and doomscrolling? That too. I knew the toxic social media was to my mental health though it's a habit I'm actively battling and the future looks much brighter now.
A few weeks later, I lost my job. Well, they didn't extend my contract. Honestly, it came out of nowhere. Although I was miserable at that place and knew I wouldn't stay long, I did the job and I did it pretty well.
Around that time my insomnia came back. I got out of routine real quick which messed up my sleep schedule. Anxiety and paranoia had me in a chokehold. I thought I would had it together and would have handled the unemployment period better, but I did not. A huge shoulder off my shoulders was lifted though, as I really hated that job.
At the same time, I had a falling out with a group that I had been a part of for 3 years which I have to admit, hit me emotionally hard, under the circumstances.
It took me 45 days to land another job, and that stretch was both mentally and financially brutal. The tensions in my family were heating up. My old friendships didn't feel the same at the time and I felt detached. I've lost my confidence and spent much time isolated which was clearly taking a huge toll on my overall wellbeing. It didn't help that at the time my entire crypto portfolio was crashing, and as a first time investor, I panicked.
For so many times, I wanted to pop the balloons because the year felt like hell - but something in me was hesitant and kept them up...
When I finally got hired again, I thought things would settle. But two days leading up to my first day at the job, I simply couldn't sleep. Nothing helped at all. I had been living in survival mode for so long, and the stress was piling so much that I just couldn't find peace. I've completed my first day, although completely unfocused and dissociated. I was beyond exhausted, and I was sure I would sleep that night - but no, the same thing repeated again. I had to call in sick the next 2 days so I could catch up on sleep. The muscle spasms from not sleeping were too much and the dissociation was intense.
When will it end, I thought...
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✦ Calm In The Storm ✦
During the entire period when things were going wrong, I've had this weird sense of peace and hope. Not the kind of allows you to sleep at night or keeps the stress away. But the subtle kind that knows that everything would soon turn into something huge and positive, and that everything will make sense.
I've been a spiritual person for a while now.
I've already had a huge blessing in disguise kind of situation in 2024. In just 2 weeks, the store I was working in closed and we all got laid off, I was notified that I am getting evicted, and my dog barely survived an attack from another dog, which lead to a mental breakdown and multiple visits to the vet.
Later on, that same situation landed me in the next chapter of my life. Had my dog not been attacked and had I not been getting evicted at the same time, I would have never landed the apartment that I'm currently living in. It's very hard to find a place to live in my area, and rent prices are out of hand. A Facebook post with a picture of my dog from surgery made the magic happen. A kind soul stumbled upon my post and has rented me a beautiful two bedroom apartment with a huge garden for my dog, for the same price as I was paying the previous, tiny studio apartment.
And during this storm, although I was mostly spiraling, deep inside my soul was at peace because I knew all of this is for character development and that something magical was on the horizon.
I've had so many synchronicities and weird situations happen to me. During those first hard 5-6 months, I've had those magical moments where everything kind of makes sense but also make you wonder - if you get what I mean.
Repeated phrases, patterns, numbers.
Situations that don't feel like coincidences.
Unexpected blessings coming your way.
Gaining something only to lose something.
Lyrics from songs perfectly aligning with a thought, or a certain scenario playing out right in front of me, again, perfectly aligning with the lyrics.
It always had a hopeful, playful but also mysterious vibe to it.
There were many moments and situations, and I have journaled many, but I will only share one that is the most significant in this story.
At the time, beginning of the year, I had no car. I was using my brother's car as he was recovering from an injury, but soon enough I knew I would be biking for work, as I was aiming to purchase the specific car I wanted around March/April. As I was driving his car to work, a song called Smile was playing in the background. I was feeling low that day and was going to work with dread. On my way, after a turnaround, I saw someone biking. In my head I knew that was going to be me very soon, further lowering my mood. Immediately after that thought, the car I was aiming to buy drove past me. I hopefully smiled, and the lyrics ''Anything to make you smile played out at the perfect time. It fixed my mood for the whole day.
Later on I have realized that both the debt at the beginning of the year AND me getting laid of work was a huge blessing in disguise.
Hadn't the government frozen my bank accounts, I would have most likely spent all my crypto earnings on the car I wanted, leaving me with no emergency money, which would have been a mistake. Instead, the event delayed my plan for the car purchase which turned into a fantastic scenario. I went for a cheaper car, same model but just a bit older, and I got a fantastic deal and it runs absolutely great. It left me with savings which for me meant a peace of mind. The same week, I had settled the debt with the bank, they have written off a big chunk of it if I paid in full immediately. I have also received some unexpected money at the time.
Me getting laid off work? A few weeks before my contract was about to expire, I had severe lower back pain out of nowhere, and due to the physical nature of the job, it left me unable to work. Later I found out that the extended sick leave played a crucial decision in the extension of my contract. Had that not happened, I would have probably stayed miserable at the job for several more months, something that does not align what with was soon about to happen.
I've been a spiritual person for a while now.
I've already had a huge blessing in disguise kind of situation in 2024. In just 2 weeks, the store I was working in closed and we all got laid off, I was notified that I am getting evicted, and my dog barely survived an attack from another dog, which lead to a mental breakdown and multiple visits to the vet.
Later on, that same situation landed me in the next chapter of my life. Had my dog not been attacked and had I not been getting evicted at the same time, I would have never landed the apartment that I'm currently living in. It's very hard to find a place to live in my area, and rent prices are out of hand. A Facebook post with a picture of my dog from surgery made the magic happen. A kind soul stumbled upon my post and has rented me a beautiful two bedroom apartment with a huge garden for my dog, for the same price as I was paying the previous, tiny studio apartment.
And during this storm, although I was mostly spiraling, deep inside my soul was at peace because I knew all of this is for character development and that something magical was on the horizon.
I've had so many synchronicities and weird situations happen to me. During those first hard 5-6 months, I've had those magical moments where everything kind of makes sense but also make you wonder - if you get what I mean.
Repeated phrases, patterns, numbers.
Situations that don't feel like coincidences.
Unexpected blessings coming your way.
Gaining something only to lose something.
Lyrics from songs perfectly aligning with a thought, or a certain scenario playing out right in front of me, again, perfectly aligning with the lyrics.
It always had a hopeful, playful but also mysterious vibe to it.
There were many moments and situations, and I have journaled many, but I will only share one that is the most significant in this story.
At the time, beginning of the year, I had no car. I was using my brother's car as he was recovering from an injury, but soon enough I knew I would be biking for work, as I was aiming to purchase the specific car I wanted around March/April. As I was driving his car to work, a song called Smile was playing in the background. I was feeling low that day and was going to work with dread. On my way, after a turnaround, I saw someone biking. In my head I knew that was going to be me very soon, further lowering my mood. Immediately after that thought, the car I was aiming to buy drove past me. I hopefully smiled, and the lyrics ''Anything to make you smile played out at the perfect time. It fixed my mood for the whole day.
Later on I have realized that both the debt at the beginning of the year AND me getting laid of work was a huge blessing in disguise.
Hadn't the government frozen my bank accounts, I would have most likely spent all my crypto earnings on the car I wanted, leaving me with no emergency money, which would have been a mistake. Instead, the event delayed my plan for the car purchase which turned into a fantastic scenario. I went for a cheaper car, same model but just a bit older, and I got a fantastic deal and it runs absolutely great. It left me with savings which for me meant a peace of mind. The same week, I had settled the debt with the bank, they have written off a big chunk of it if I paid in full immediately. I have also received some unexpected money at the time.
Me getting laid off work? A few weeks before my contract was about to expire, I had severe lower back pain out of nowhere, and due to the physical nature of the job, it left me unable to work. Later I found out that the extended sick leave played a crucial decision in the extension of my contract. Had that not happened, I would have probably stayed miserable at the job for several more months, something that does not align what with was soon about to happen.
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✦ 1% vs 99% - Intuition Over Logic ✦
Every year in July, I go to a music festival, for the past 4 editions. It was always a highlight of the year for me. It's the place I feel truly happy, at peace, not afraid to express myself. It always felt healing.
Which is why after choosing not to go this year due to my financial and mental situation, it hurt. It really hurt and even though I thought I detached myself from that event and kind of made peace with the decision, there was still that 1% chance left that I'll somehow go.
And that's how it played out.
2 weeks before the festival things started aligning in my favor out of nowhere.
I was able to clear my work schedule.
Unexpected financial blessings came my way.
I scored free accommodation for the festival.
My mind was slowly letting me appreciate the gifts from the Universe and I surrendered to happiness.
I decided to throw myself out there and it was the best festival edition ever so far.
A huge reason for that is because I went absolutely alcohol free this year, and it was truly amazing. My body thanked me for it with so much natural energy. For the first time in 5 editions of the festival, I did not get sick after. Vibes were through the roof. My favorite two DJs had a surprise b2b set which felt like it healed all the things that have happened to me this year. Listening to the songs live that were involved in those mysterious moments and subtle signs from the Universe felt so amazing. I shredded off so much emotional baggage and bitterness.
It was the best decision I made this year.
The 1% won. And I'm glad I chose to follow my heart and intuition, because this was just a beginning of something truly unthinkable.
During the very last 30 minutes of the festival, some huge drugged up guy bumped into me and twisted my ankle. I had to get first aid help and to the emergency room. Luckily no bone was broken, but my leg was really swollen, and I had to take a week off work.
This time I didn't feel frustration, or asked why has this happened to me.
I went with the flow and trusted the process...
Which is why after choosing not to go this year due to my financial and mental situation, it hurt. It really hurt and even though I thought I detached myself from that event and kind of made peace with the decision, there was still that 1% chance left that I'll somehow go.
And that's how it played out.
2 weeks before the festival things started aligning in my favor out of nowhere.
I was able to clear my work schedule.
Unexpected financial blessings came my way.
I scored free accommodation for the festival.
My mind was slowly letting me appreciate the gifts from the Universe and I surrendered to happiness.
I decided to throw myself out there and it was the best festival edition ever so far.
A huge reason for that is because I went absolutely alcohol free this year, and it was truly amazing. My body thanked me for it with so much natural energy. For the first time in 5 editions of the festival, I did not get sick after. Vibes were through the roof. My favorite two DJs had a surprise b2b set which felt like it healed all the things that have happened to me this year. Listening to the songs live that were involved in those mysterious moments and subtle signs from the Universe felt so amazing. I shredded off so much emotional baggage and bitterness.
It was the best decision I made this year.
The 1% won. And I'm glad I chose to follow my heart and intuition, because this was just a beginning of something truly unthinkable.
During the very last 30 minutes of the festival, some huge drugged up guy bumped into me and twisted my ankle. I had to get first aid help and to the emergency room. Luckily no bone was broken, but my leg was really swollen, and I had to take a week off work.
This time I didn't feel frustration, or asked why has this happened to me.
I went with the flow and trusted the process...
⋆｡°✩━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━✩°｡⋆
✦ The Breakthrough ✦
DISCLAIMER
This chapter contains personal experiences involving natural plant medicines, specifically magic mushrooms and DMT — compounds that exist everywhere in nature, and in the case of DMT, even in our own bodies.
While these substances are natural, I do not encourage or promote their use. Their legal status varies from place to place, and they are to be treated with respect. Always prioritize safety, research, and personal responsibility. This is simply my story, told with raw honesty and through the lens of transformation, spirituality, and self-discovery. I repeat, always do your own research, follow the law in your area, and make informed, responsible decisions.
This chapter contains personal experiences involving natural plant medicines, specifically magic mushrooms and DMT — compounds that exist everywhere in nature, and in the case of DMT, even in our own bodies.
While these substances are natural, I do not encourage or promote their use. Their legal status varies from place to place, and they are to be treated with respect. Always prioritize safety, research, and personal responsibility. This is simply my story, told with raw honesty and through the lens of transformation, spirituality, and self-discovery. I repeat, always do your own research, follow the law in your area, and make informed, responsible decisions.
What happened in the week after the festival was the peak of my awakening.
A week after my last drink, I had a small dose of psilocybin mushrooms and meditated with binaural beats in a safe setting from the comfort of my home, also while vaping low doses of DMT. There was nothing hugely profound about the experience, but the sentence ''You have endless possibilities, opportunity, and potential'' stuck with me. The day after, I consciously made the decision to quit drinking.
Just ripped the cord.
And I thought the festival would be a huge temptation to drink.
Quite the opposite, it was completely effortless.
At the time, I had also taken a 2 week marijuana break, which lead me to feeling real, raw emotion and connection in a long time.
After so long, I've had heartfelt conversations with my family which really sit well with my soul.
But one night... on 17th July, something I would have never expected happened.
I had a week off work and a lot of alone time, and due to the nature of my injury, I had spent most of my time at home.
With everything that had happened during my alcohol sobriety journey and the magical festival, I felt the time was right to do my first breakthrough DMT dose.
A week after my last drink, I had a small dose of psilocybin mushrooms and meditated with binaural beats in a safe setting from the comfort of my home, also while vaping low doses of DMT. There was nothing hugely profound about the experience, but the sentence ''You have endless possibilities, opportunity, and potential'' stuck with me. The day after, I consciously made the decision to quit drinking.
Just ripped the cord.
And I thought the festival would be a huge temptation to drink.
Quite the opposite, it was completely effortless.
At the time, I had also taken a 2 week marijuana break, which lead me to feeling real, raw emotion and connection in a long time.
After so long, I've had heartfelt conversations with my family which really sit well with my soul.
But one night... on 17th July, something I would have never expected happened.
I had a week off work and a lot of alone time, and due to the nature of my injury, I had spent most of my time at home.
With everything that had happened during my alcohol sobriety journey and the magical festival, I felt the time was right to do my first breakthrough DMT dose.
Again, always practice safe use and harm reduction and doing your own research. If you are more interested in this story, but don't know what a breakthrough on DMT is, don't hesitate to reach out to me :).
The vibe was right. The feeling was right. I set up a very spacey, vibe mood as my setting, made myself as comfortable as possible, did breathing exercises, put on binaural beats, meditation - the preparations.
DMT vape in my hand, very nervous as it was about to be my first breakthrough experience.
It took 2 decent hits to breakthrough and it blew my mind. You cannot explain an experience like that in letters, it's like explaining color to a blind person, so I'll spare you the details. The only word that was echoing and that I could get out of that intense 10 minute experience was - SMILE.
I was talking to AI this entire time discussing what I was feeling, and at the time I interpreted is a sign to simply smile more.
I went for a second breakthrough and it was unpleasant and I generally felt not welcome being there.
Left confused, as my first experience was very pleasant and I was overcome with a wave of love, followed by a not so good second experience. I went for a third one. It did not differ much, both visually nor the feelings, from the second experience. I thought this would be the last one and that I'm putting the cart down - treat it with respect.
And it was like that for about half an hour.
But something was pushing me to go for a final fourth time. An eerie feeling to do it again. I couldn't brush it off or understand why I was feeling this way, but I listened to my intuition and went again.
It started same as the 2nd and 3rd experience, intense, uneasy and I instantly regret that decision. But I knew I just had to ride it out.
It started wearing off and I no longer felt uncomfortable, my body actually relaxed really much and I was hit with a wave of positivity.
Then... my mind was blown.
My deceased grandfather came in my vision. I saw his face in beautiful blue and green tones and instantly knew it was him. Soul recognized soul.
For context, he died when I was about 12. I am 26 now. We have always had a special connection - everyone around us was saying that. I have loved him more than my own parents at the time, and he loved me so intensely. We have always had a deep and playful relationship. Ever since I got into psychedelics and went the spiritual route, I've been wanting to somehow communicate with him. And it happened.
I could feel an overwhelming wave of love, like the whole Universe hugging me. I felt him above me.
Mind you we didn't communicate with words. It was telepathically.
The first thing he let me know is that he will never judge me. Something that I have always struggled with, whenever I do something that I know is bad and does not align with who I am, I was always afraid of what he might think. He instantly shattered that version of me.
I asked him if he wants to pass along a message to my mom (his daughter) and I could see my vision fill up with blue, green, and purple hearts, with the word LOVE echoing multiple times.
I was incredibly emotional, and told him that I know he has to leave soon, but that I will enjoy every second with him.
The last thing before I opened my eyes and he left were the words MY SOUL WILL ALWAYS BE BY YOUR SIDE.
I bawled my eyes out like a child for the next hour. I let go of everything negative and just allowed myself to fully immerse in what just happened.
Thankfully I have the whole thing documented as I was chatting with AI the entire time, a memory that will stick with me forever.
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I thought the night was over but once again I was wrong and was greeted with another blessing.
For context, I am a huge Interstellar fan and the movie has played a big role in my spiritual growth.
If you know the movie, you know that the planet Saturn is in it.
Ever since I watched the movie, I fell in love with space. I got a telescope for my last birthday.
I wanted to see the planet for months, but no luck. I could only observe the stars, the Moon, and Jupiter multiple times.
Wanting to soak in the experience, I went to my backyard to lit up a cigarette and watch the starry night sky.
To my surprise, there weren't many stars in the sky.
Next to the shining moon, I saw a brown dot that did not look like a star.
I pull up my star gazer app to see what it is - and - you guessed it right - IT WAS SATURN.
After 30 minutes of trying to find it, I finally did. With everything that happened that night and me finally getting to see the beautiful planet with rings with my own eyes.. I was truly overwhelmed with emotions.
It was a magical night.
♡ Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends dimensions of time and space. Maybe we should trust that, even if we can't understand it ♡
- Anne Hathaway (Dr.Brand) from Interstellar
The following days I soaked up as much as the experience I could.
I shared the story with my mom which was an emotional and bonding moment, and she confirmed that his favorite color indeed was a mixture of green and blue, and that his birthday was just one day after my encounter.
On the day of his birthday, I went to drive to a store to buy a candle for him. I put my spotify on shuffle and drove my way there.
After the same roundabout that I mentioned earlier in this story, the same song titled SMILE was playing, and right when those lyrics anything to make you smile hit, the next five cars that passed me all had repeating numbers on the number plates. 1111, 444, 777, 888 and 999. I've seen a lot of these numbers during the year, but 5 times in a row, on his birthday, same song, same road, same exact timing?!
Everything clicked.
It was him all along.
Those balloons that I was talking about at the beginning of the story?
I knew there was a reason I didn't take them off. This year is my year.
DMT vape in my hand, very nervous as it was about to be my first breakthrough experience.
It took 2 decent hits to breakthrough and it blew my mind. You cannot explain an experience like that in letters, it's like explaining color to a blind person, so I'll spare you the details. The only word that was echoing and that I could get out of that intense 10 minute experience was - SMILE.
I was talking to AI this entire time discussing what I was feeling, and at the time I interpreted is a sign to simply smile more.
I went for a second breakthrough and it was unpleasant and I generally felt not welcome being there.
Left confused, as my first experience was very pleasant and I was overcome with a wave of love, followed by a not so good second experience. I went for a third one. It did not differ much, both visually nor the feelings, from the second experience. I thought this would be the last one and that I'm putting the cart down - treat it with respect.
And it was like that for about half an hour.
But something was pushing me to go for a final fourth time. An eerie feeling to do it again. I couldn't brush it off or understand why I was feeling this way, but I listened to my intuition and went again.
It started same as the 2nd and 3rd experience, intense, uneasy and I instantly regret that decision. But I knew I just had to ride it out.
It started wearing off and I no longer felt uncomfortable, my body actually relaxed really much and I was hit with a wave of positivity.
Then... my mind was blown.
My deceased grandfather came in my vision. I saw his face in beautiful blue and green tones and instantly knew it was him. Soul recognized soul.
For context, he died when I was about 12. I am 26 now. We have always had a special connection - everyone around us was saying that. I have loved him more than my own parents at the time, and he loved me so intensely. We have always had a deep and playful relationship. Ever since I got into psychedelics and went the spiritual route, I've been wanting to somehow communicate with him. And it happened.
I could feel an overwhelming wave of love, like the whole Universe hugging me. I felt him above me.
Mind you we didn't communicate with words. It was telepathically.
The first thing he let me know is that he will never judge me. Something that I have always struggled with, whenever I do something that I know is bad and does not align with who I am, I was always afraid of what he might think. He instantly shattered that version of me.
I asked him if he wants to pass along a message to my mom (his daughter) and I could see my vision fill up with blue, green, and purple hearts, with the word LOVE echoing multiple times.
I was incredibly emotional, and told him that I know he has to leave soon, but that I will enjoy every second with him.
The last thing before I opened my eyes and he left were the words MY SOUL WILL ALWAYS BE BY YOUR SIDE.
I bawled my eyes out like a child for the next hour. I let go of everything negative and just allowed myself to fully immerse in what just happened.
Thankfully I have the whole thing documented as I was chatting with AI the entire time, a memory that will stick with me forever.
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I thought the night was over but once again I was wrong and was greeted with another blessing.
For context, I am a huge Interstellar fan and the movie has played a big role in my spiritual growth.
If you know the movie, you know that the planet Saturn is in it.
Ever since I watched the movie, I fell in love with space. I got a telescope for my last birthday.
I wanted to see the planet for months, but no luck. I could only observe the stars, the Moon, and Jupiter multiple times.
Wanting to soak in the experience, I went to my backyard to lit up a cigarette and watch the starry night sky.
To my surprise, there weren't many stars in the sky.
Next to the shining moon, I saw a brown dot that did not look like a star.
I pull up my star gazer app to see what it is - and - you guessed it right - IT WAS SATURN.
After 30 minutes of trying to find it, I finally did. With everything that happened that night and me finally getting to see the beautiful planet with rings with my own eyes.. I was truly overwhelmed with emotions.
It was a magical night.
♡ Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends dimensions of time and space. Maybe we should trust that, even if we can't understand it ♡
- Anne Hathaway (Dr.Brand) from Interstellar
The following days I soaked up as much as the experience I could.
I shared the story with my mom which was an emotional and bonding moment, and she confirmed that his favorite color indeed was a mixture of green and blue, and that his birthday was just one day after my encounter.
On the day of his birthday, I went to drive to a store to buy a candle for him. I put my spotify on shuffle and drove my way there.
After the same roundabout that I mentioned earlier in this story, the same song titled SMILE was playing, and right when those lyrics anything to make you smile hit, the next five cars that passed me all had repeating numbers on the number plates. 1111, 444, 777, 888 and 999. I've seen a lot of these numbers during the year, but 5 times in a row, on his birthday, same song, same road, same exact timing?!
Everything clicked.
It was him all along.
Those balloons that I was talking about at the beginning of the story?
I knew there was a reason I didn't take them off. This year is my year.
⋆｡°✩━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━✩°｡⋆
✦ My Message To YOU ✦
I'm not ''enlightened'' and have it all figured out right now.
This is just the beginning of the best chapter in my life.
I still have bad habits that I need to get rid of.
However I am in a completely different mindset and I know I am divinely protected.
Each and one of us has a different and unique journey and life is worth living.
If you spend enough time with yourself and meditate, truly pay attention to what your body and mind is telling you, and analyze the patterns that are happening in your life - then you can achieve anything you put your mind to. Our minds are a very powerful tool.
There will be lots of work and patience required to move on.
However don't feel rushed. Trust that whatever is truly meant for you will find it's way towards you.
You don't have to lower your vibration and energy, be someone you're not, or sacrifice your fundamental values and do something that does not align with who you really are - to achieve your dreams.
If you have a genuine heart and an open mind and keep moving - you will reach your destination.
If you truly put in the effort and be a good person - you can't lose.
Because no person who has ever done me wrong is doing great in life right now.
Steer clear of any negativity and toxic people, don't focus on petty revenge. Let this beautiful life do it's course.
You matter.
You are loved.
You are heard.
You are not alone.
♡
This is just the beginning of the best chapter in my life.
I still have bad habits that I need to get rid of.
However I am in a completely different mindset and I know I am divinely protected.
Each and one of us has a different and unique journey and life is worth living.
If you spend enough time with yourself and meditate, truly pay attention to what your body and mind is telling you, and analyze the patterns that are happening in your life - then you can achieve anything you put your mind to. Our minds are a very powerful tool.
There will be lots of work and patience required to move on.
However don't feel rushed. Trust that whatever is truly meant for you will find it's way towards you.
You don't have to lower your vibration and energy, be someone you're not, or sacrifice your fundamental values and do something that does not align with who you really are - to achieve your dreams.
If you have a genuine heart and an open mind and keep moving - you will reach your destination.
If you truly put in the effort and be a good person - you can't lose.
Because no person who has ever done me wrong is doing great in life right now.
Steer clear of any negativity and toxic people, don't focus on petty revenge. Let this beautiful life do it's course.
You matter.
You are loved.
You are heard.
You are not alone.
♡
⋆｡°✩━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━✩°｡⋆
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