[Bastille]

I’ve been going through a really rough time for the past two years, and I just can’t seem to get out of it. It feels like when you’re in deep shit, you just keep attracting more of it.

I lost all my savings because of a relationship — around €40,000. I had a burnout and depression, lost my job, and then my health because of the burnout. I had to sell my stocks, which could have made me a lot of money. I still have some savings in crypto, but everything crashed, and it hurts to sell at a loss. (2000€ now, for 4000€ invested in 2021).

I bought an apartment to live in with my ex, but now I can’t afford the mortgage anymore. I asked the bank to put the payments on hold, but they refused. It’s €850 a month just for the loan, not counting other bills, and my social benefits are only €580 per month.

Even though I have almost six years of experience as a technician, admin, and in cybersecurity, with certifications, I can’t find a job. I think the one-and-a-half-year gap on my resume scares recruiters — they probably assume something went wrong and don’t want to take the risk. I’ve sent out a bit more than 70 applications in a month and a half, and I live near the capital.

I even tried applying for short-term temp jobs as a support technician, but no luck there either. I’m now considering taking a minimum-wage job in a store, but I risk being turned down for being overqualified (they’ll think I’ll leave as soon as I find something in IT again — which I actually would...), or I might end up falling back into depression working a minimum-wage job when I used to make more than double that and after going back to school at 25 to study IT, studying during nights and weekend to progress while I was working. So much time wasted for nothing.

I’m not trying to compare myself to others or feel better by thinking someone has it worse — I just wanted to talk, and maybe reassure myself by hearing that things got better for others in similar situations.

I’ll admit I’ve spent the whole day drunk, sorry if this post bothers anyone — I’ll delete it if it does.

At least wine in France is cheap, 2€ for a bottle (2,32$), sometimes it helps.

[Puffballmayhem]

Yo, I'm new to posting here but man, that sucks and is rough as hell. I know sometimes life feels like its piling in more and more on you, but hang in there bro. It'll get better, it might take a bit but it will.

As for me, I had a homeless stint not that long ago where I remember everyone I had known seemingly abandoned me and i remember just living in some pipe under a bridge with a gun in my hand and a bottle of Jack Daniels that I stole and was really close to ending it. Only reason I didnt is because I remembered the good times I had while life wasnt shitty and eventually clawed my way out of that homeless stint. What sucks though is life isn't this thing where you fix your life and then you're good forever, I had some bullshit happen recently where i lost a job that looked like a lucrative career and without doxxing myself too hard here, I kind of really needed that job because it was an entry way into a career in a separate department that my bosses knew damned well I wanted to go which I'm fired and trespassed from their property now so that's never gonna happen now.

Despite the bullshit, idk it's like you gotta just roll with the punches life throws at you
and always try and move yourself forward. That's actually kind why I joined here because Ive know of this place for a long time but figured its time to get serious about learning cybersecurity

[DirtyIndian]

It does sound like you've fallen into a bit of a rut but there is always light at the end of the tunnel even if you're unable to see it from where you are currently standing. I was homeless for about 18 months and it was one of the hardest points in my life. I'm talking sleeping at the shelter every night, getting my meals from the soup kitchen, trying to stay dry on those rainy days while also trying to be productive. I honestly felt like I would never get back on my feet. The first 6 months I made zero progress basically chasing my tail. Long story short I was able to overcome all of that and now have my own spot and a steady job. Try and keep your head up and keep pushing forward. Maybe look for some type of online income if your normal means of work aren't panning out, nothing wrong with doing something different. Whatever you do don't give up

[RangoWorld]

Just a year ago. December 2024. I was in the lowest point of my life. My illness had taken over the last straw of my hope.

It had been months that I was knocking on the doors of one doctor and then another, then another. The meds weren't working. I was in so much pain. I was broke, didn't had a job, was depressed and the pain from illness was too much. I used to cry myself to sleep. Not all times it was because of life suffering but also because the pain was unbearable. I had thoughts about maybe ending my life. At that moment I just wanted nothing from life than from the pain to go away.

Nonetheless I held myself and figured that maybe I do not have the strength to move mountains. But I can start off by moving the rock near my feet. I did that. I found out the smaller things in life that were contributing to my stress level and I just started eliminating it so that I had more of a stress threshold remaining. I read some books. Spent a lot of time in nature. Trying to reset myself and regain energy. I got back into workout and fixed my diet.

Fast forward now. I finally found a doctor that has managed to control my illness and keep the pain at bay. I'm not as depressed and I have a purpose in life now.

I truly believe that I'm stronger now. "What doesn't kill you, make you stronger."

Don't lose hope. If you don't have the strength to move mountains. At least you have strength to move a pebble. Start with that. Always be moving forward. You can take a bit of rest but never quit. Never.

I will recommend you two books. "Meditations" by Marcus Aurelius and "Discourses and Selected Writings" by Epictetus. These are stoic books and they helped me a lot in my tough journey when I was in my lowest point in life. It put a lot of life's philosophy into perspective.

Stay Strong buddy! 💪

[Bastille]

Yo, I'm new to posting here but man, that sucks and is rough as hell. I know sometimes life feels like its piling in more and more on you, but hang in there bro. It'll get better, it might take a bit but it will.

As for me, I had a homeless stint not that long ago where I remember everyone I had known seemingly abandoned me and i remember just living in some pipe under a bridge with a gun in my hand and a bottle of Jack Daniels that I stole and was really close to ending it. Only reason I didnt is because I remembered the good times I had while life wasnt shitty and eventually clawed my way out of that homeless stint. What sucks though is life isn't this thing where you fix your life and then you're good forever, I had some bullshit happen recently where i lost a job that looked like a lucrative career and without doxxing myself too hard here, I kind of really needed that job because it was an entry way into a career in a separate department that my bosses knew damned well I wanted to go which I'm fired and trespassed from their property now so that's never gonna happen now.

Despite the bullshit, idk it's like you gotta just roll with the punches life throws at you
and always try and move yourself forward. That's actually kind why I joined here because Ive know of this place for a long time but figured its time to get serious about learning cybersecurity

Sorry to hear what you've been through, being drunk with a gun is definitely not a good thing. Yeah of course don't share personal info, I'll try to focus on good moments, and try to keep going, it's not easy every day especially to find the motivation.

I appreciated your answer man, definitely a good first post. Hope to see you around later, when things will be better.

By the way, if you have questions regarding cybersecurity, feel free to open a thread, I'll do my best to answer :)

It does sound like you've fallen into a bit of a rut but there is always light at the end of the tunnel even if you're unable to see it from where you are currently standing. I was homeless for about 18 months and it was one of the hardest points in my life. I'm talking sleeping at the shelter every night, getting my meals from the soup kitchen, trying to stay dry on those rainy days while also trying to be productive. I honestly felt like I would never get back on my feet. The first 6 months I made zero progress basically chasing my tail. Long story short I was able to overcome all of that and now have my own spot and a steady job. Try and keep your head up and keep pushing forward. Maybe look for some type of online income if your normal means of work aren't panning out, nothing wrong with doing something different. Whatever you do don't give up

I think that until you’ve actually lived on the streets, you can’t really understand what it’s like. I feel like a complainer compared to what you went through — congratulations to you for getting back on your feet. I’m starting to consider taking a minimum wage job in a store, stocking shelves and stuff. It’s not easy mentally, and it’ll make the gap in my résumé even bigger, but the main thing is to not lose my apartment. Thanks for taking the time to share your story :)

Just a year ago. December 2024. I was in the lowest point of my life. My illness had taken over the last straw of my hope.

It had been months that I was knocking on the doors of one doctor and then another, then another. The meds weren't working. I was in so much pain. I was broke, didn't had a job, was depressed and the pain from illness was too much. I used to cry myself to sleep. Not all times it was because of life suffering but also because the pain was unbearable. I had thoughts about maybe ending my life. At that moment I just wanted nothing from life than from the pain to go away.

Nonetheless I held myself and figured that maybe I do not have the strength to move mountains. But I can start off by moving the rock near my feet. I did that. I found out the smaller things in life that were contributing to my stress level and I just started eliminating it so that I had more of a stress threshold remaining. I read some books. Spent a lot of time in nature. Trying to reset myself and regain energy. I got back into workout and fixed my diet.

Fast forward now. I finally found a doctor that has managed to control my illness and keep the pain at bay. I'm not as depressed and I have a purpose in life now.

I truly believe that I'm stronger now. "What doesn't kill you, make you stronger."

Don't lose hope. If you don't have the strength to move mountains. At least you have strength to move a pebble. Start with that. Always be moving forward. You can take a bit of rest but never quit. Never.

I will recommend you two books. "Meditations" by Marcus Aurelius and "Discourses and Selected Writings" by Epictetus. These are stoic books and they helped me a lot in my tough journey when I was in my lowest point in life. It put a lot of life's philosophy into perspective.

Stay Strong buddy! 💪

Thanks for sharing your story, and the time you took to reply mate, I really liked this sentence : "maybe I do not have the strength to move mountains. But I can start off by moving the rock near my feet."

I'll try to apply this, and even if I have to start from the bottom again with a meaningless and low-paid job, at least I'll keep my apartment to not make the situation worse.

Thanks for talking with me, it helped :)

[SIM-4331310]

I’ve been going through a really rough time for the past two years, and I just can’t seem to get out of it. It feels like when you’re in deep shit, you just keep attracting more of it.

I lost all my savings because of a relationship — around €40,000. I had a burnout and depression, lost my job, and then my health because of the burnout. I had to sell my stocks, which could have made me a lot of money. I still have some savings in crypto, but everything crashed, and it hurts to sell at a loss. (2000€ now, for 4000€ invested in 2021).

I bought an apartment to live in with my ex, but now I can’t afford the mortgage anymore. I asked the bank to put the payments on hold, but they refused. It’s €850 a month just for the loan, not counting other bills, and my social benefits are only €580 per month.

Even though I have almost six years of experience as a technician, admin, and in cybersecurity, with certifications, I can’t find a job. I think the one-and-a-half-year gap on my resume scares recruiters — they probably assume something went wrong and don’t want to take the risk. I’ve sent out a bit more than 70 applications in a month and a half, and I live near the capital.

I even tried applying for short-term temp jobs as a support technician, but no luck there either. I’m now considering taking a minimum-wage job in a store, but I risk being turned down for being overqualified (they’ll think I’ll leave as soon as I find something in IT again — which I actually would...), or I might end up falling back into depression working a minimum-wage job when I used to make more than double that and after going back to school at 25 to study IT, studying during nights and weekend to progress while I was working. So much time wasted for nothing.

I’m not trying to compare myself to others or feel better by thinking someone has it worse — I just wanted to talk, and maybe reassure myself by hearing that things got better for others in similar situations.

I’ll admit I’ve spent the whole day drunk, sorry if this post bothers anyone — I’ll delete it if it does.

At least wine in France is cheap, 2€ for a bottle (2,32$), sometimes it helps.

I want to tell you my story..but I fear that time has not come yet..I really do hope 2 see France one day tho....

[Bastille]

I want to tell you my story..but I fear that time has not come yet..I really do hope 2 see France one day tho....

No worries man, thanks for taking the time to post in my thread by the way, I wish you to be able to come in France one day 😊

[SIM-4331310]

No worries man, thanks for taking the time to post in my thread by the way, I wish you to be able to come in France one day 😊

Appreciate you for this..not sure if that's going to be the case if you have the woman I'm coming for 😉....

[Axelyn]

I really felt this post. When life starts falling apart, it’s strange how everything seems to go wrong at once. I’ve been there too. Lost a relationship, burned through my savings, and spent months trying to feel normal again. You start questioning yourself and everything you worked for.

What helped me get out of that place wasn’t anything big. It was small steps. Fixing my sleep schedule, cleaning my space, learning a new thing each day, even if it was just a few minutes of focus. Those small wins build momentum. Eventually you start feeling like you’re taking control again.

You shouldn’t be too hard on yourself for where you are right now. The fact that you’re still showing up, applying for jobs, and being honest about what you’re going through already says a lot. Most people give up completely when things hit that level.

Keep sending applications and maybe work on a small project or something that shows your skills. It gives you something to talk about in interviews and helps fill that resume gap. You’ve already put in the work and gained experience. This chapter doesn’t erase that.

Things eventually turn around, even when it feels impossible. I respect that you shared this, because it’s not easy to open up about that kind of pain. It takes strength, and it shows that you’re still fighting.

[RangoWorld]

Thanks for sharing your story, and the time you took to reply mate, I really liked this sentence : "maybe I do not have the strength to move mountains. But I can start off by moving the rock near my feet."

I'll try to apply this, and even if I have to start from the bottom again with a meaningless and low-paid job, at least I'll keep my apartment to not make the situation worse.

Thanks for talking with me, it helped :)

I realize this now that while you start from bottom even if you have to. But you don't really start from bottom. All that experience come into play. It's like once the ball gets rolling you automatically know how to climb quicker than all newbies. Fascinating how our brains make use of experience.

[Bastille]

I really felt this post. When life starts falling apart, it’s strange how everything seems to go wrong at once. I’ve been there too. Lost a relationship, burned through my savings, and spent months trying to feel normal again. You start questioning yourself and everything you worked for.

What helped me get out of that place wasn’t anything big. It was small steps. Fixing my sleep schedule, cleaning my space, learning a new thing each day, even if it was just a few minutes of focus. Those small wins build momentum. Eventually you start feeling like you’re taking control again.

You shouldn’t be too hard on yourself for where you are right now. The fact that you’re still showing up, applying for jobs, and being honest about what you’re going through already says a lot. Most people give up completely when things hit that level.

Keep sending applications and maybe work on a small project or something that shows your skills. It gives you something to talk about in interviews and helps fill that resume gap. You’ve already put in the work and gained experience. This chapter doesn’t erase that.

Things eventually turn around, even when it feels impossible. I respect that you shared this, because it’s not easy to open up about that kind of pain. It takes strength, and it shows that you’re still fighting.

Thanks for your motivating post, I actually cleaned up my apartment when I started reading your post, I've been drunk for few days now and things have been quite messy at home can't lie ...

I'm currently working on LPIC-1 (Linux certification) to pass the exam and improve my résumé. Hope it will help but the exam is around 350€ (176€ for exam 101 and 176€ for exam 102, I need to pass both to get the certification). I already have the MS-500 and the Security+ exam, which should help but don't really work so far ...

Yeah, it's not easy especially with people you don't know but I've been on HF for 7 years now, I remember when I registered I just started as a helpdesk tech.

Thanks again for posting, it helps not feeling alone, welcome on HF by the way, hope to see you around 😊

I realize this now that while you start from bottom even if you have to. But you don't really start from bottom. All that experience come into play. It's like once the ball gets rolling you automatically know how to climb quicker than all newbies. Fascinating how our brains make use of experience.

Yeah, if I have to work again as a helpdesk tech it would be very very easy to me, the problem is the salary, I earned more than twice the minimum wage back in the days, going back to the minimum wage is definitely hard, but at least I wouldn't loose my apartment.

[RangoWorld]

What helped me get out of that place wasn’t anything big. It was small steps. Fixing my sleep schedule, cleaning my space, learning a new thing each day, even if it was just a few minutes of focus. Those small wins build momentum. Eventually you start feeling like you’re taking control again.

This part is so universal and true man. I have told even my friends when they were doing nothing in life that you start by fixing your sleep schedule, then diet and workout. It's a slow and painful process at start but the momentum will take you forward.

Progress in life is like a snowball.

[SIM-3257834]

I can't really say that I had a low point in my life so far. I thought it was when I learned Aircraft maintenance wasn't for me, I'd cry in my car driving home. Went back to college a few months before covid pop, sometime around 2021 I switched into IT with just Sec+. Started at the client systems tech role, moved to the help desk, and then later 2 years later a help desk Supervisor/System Admin role. Left that for an entry level network engineer role, pay is trash and it's honestly boring work but my coworkers are great and the hours are the best in the industry. Bought a house a year later, something my age group no longer can achieve. Yet the moment I turned 30, something clicked. I'm bored and sometimes lonely, I hope I'm not those type of people who just grind all day at work where they just don't bother having a loving relationship. Looks like the start of my 30s is realizing I want someone in my life and some excitement.

[Jamika]

I’ve been going through a really rough time for the past two years, and I just can’t seem to get out of it. It feels like when you’re in deep shit, you just keep attracting more of it.

I lost all my savings because of a relationship — around €40,000. I had a burnout and depression, lost my job, and then my health because of the burnout. I had to sell my stocks, which could have made me a lot of money. I still have some savings in crypto, but everything crashed, and it hurts to sell at a loss. (2000€ now, for 4000€ invested in 2021).

I bought an apartment to live in with my ex, but now I can’t afford the mortgage anymore. I asked the bank to put the payments on hold, but they refused. It’s €850 a month just for the loan, not counting other bills, and my social benefits are only €580 per month.

Even though I have almost six years of experience as a technician, admin, and in cybersecurity, with certifications, I can’t find a job. I think the one-and-a-half-year gap on my resume scares recruiters — they probably assume something went wrong and don’t want to take the risk. I’ve sent out a bit more than 70 applications in a month and a half, and I live near the capital.

I even tried applying for short-term temp jobs as a support technician, but no luck there either. I’m now considering taking a minimum-wage job in a store, but I risk being turned down for being overqualified (they’ll think I’ll leave as soon as I find something in IT again — which I actually would...), or I might end up falling back into depression working a minimum-wage job when I used to make more than double that and after going back to school at 25 to study IT, studying during nights and weekend to progress while I was working. So much time wasted for nothing.

I’m not trying to compare myself to others or feel better by thinking someone has it worse — I just wanted to talk, and maybe reassure myself by hearing that things got better for others in similar situations.

I’ll admit I’ve spent the whole day drunk, sorry if this post bothers anyone — I’ll delete it if it does.

At least wine in France is cheap, 2€ for a bottle (2,32$), sometimes it helps.

Sorry for ur suffer, but u need to get over this , and stop alcohols , consider everything as a new start , good luck man in your next days