[King Cin]

The Empire - Anonymous Life Counseling
by 'Cinnamon & Marcellow

What is this?

This thread, could be seen as a help desk. There's one main problem with help desks that are about people's personal life, anonimity. On this thread, I'll post my advice, everyone can see it, but no one will know that you were the one who told me about your problem, nor will I know who sent me their problem.

How does this work?

It's very simple. All you have to do, is visit this link, and describe your problem. I will get notified of the submission, and will do my best to reply asap, and to the best of my ability.

What can you ask me?

You can ask me anything related to your personal life. It doesn't matter if it's about your family, love, or sexuality. Everything related to your personal life will be answered. If I think you're trolling, I may skip your problem, but I'm doing this assuming we're all mature enough not to troll.

[Szeretlek]

This is a great thing you're doing and I really like the idea that you're using email to get anonymous chatting, I also love how that you get notified about it because you may not always be on so the fact you get the email and you can have it linked to your phone or whatever that's a good idea.

Will most likely use this if anything occurs, bookmarked the thread.

[Rigel]

Just letting people know that I am a part of this and available to help you out. 🤝

[Bugatti]

I love this idea. This will make more people open up.

[Justin Timberlake]

Good luck with this Marcellow and Taylor Swift, looks like we're not the only ones!

[Roger Waters]

This sounds like a great idea and a cool concept too. Just curious, how would the person receive their response if all they do is write whatever they need to write in the box and not an email or anything along with it?

[labroca]

I'm sure people will find this helpful, especially because of all these new doxing websites and services.

[Vibe]

This sounds like a great idea and a cool concept too. Just curious, how would the person receive their response if all they do is write whatever they need to write in the box and not an email or anything along with it?

I'm assuming they can just comment the response on this thread, anyways great service!

[King Cin]

This sounds like a great idea and a cool concept too. Just curious, how would the person receive their response if all they do is write whatever they need to write in the box and not an email or anything along with it?

I get a copy of their response in my email account. After that I post my response on this thread.
I'll check my mail later, just woke up and not on a PC yet.

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Thanks for all the emails.

Questions & Answers by me:

I've been with my gf a little over three years. She was originally about two hours away. Last year she came down here for college, partly so she could be about 20mins from me and we could see each other more often.
Since then, I've "fallen out of love" so to speak and have thought a lot about ending things... but I don't know how, or if I should.

I know if I do, she would be devastated and wouldnt know what to do. Her whole family knows me, my whole family knows her, I feel like it would be messy to break up, but I'm not the happiest at the moment.

Try to wait things out and make them better, or end it and move on for the time being?

If you two are talking about breaking up a lot, then the time has come. You'll feel sad for a while, but it'll pass over time. You shouldn't try to extend a relationship that has come to an end, it'll end up worse.

I feel lonely every day, I don't know if this is really annonymous, I don't care, I am right now sitting alone behind a computer screen, thinking about how my future would be if I would have some more friends. I go to a hard highschool and I am fit, I look good but I have never had a girl friend. I don't know why, I've been told I look good but a girl never likes me. I get told people like me, that they want to be friends with me, that they ARE friends with me, but I never felt it. i always want to help people and I always will do it, but I never get helped my self.
I just don't get it . . .

Confidence! You need confidence. Judging by your response, it seems that you're very insecure about yourself and others. I'm pretty sure you're a great guy, but it seems like you're keeping people away from yourself. I think others think it's hard to approach you, I suggest going to someone yourself instead of waiting for them to come to you.

I sometimes feel like if I was gone, It wouldn't make a difference and no one would care. I believe I've helped many but, then again, if I think too much, I bring myself down. I am a very pessimistic person, and to challenge that I try not to think about things so much, I believe that's why I'm always listening to music.... ALWAYS. I thinks it's just me being a little b* but I also believe there's someone wrong with me, with my mentality. Any advice?

There's nothing wrong with you, but being pessimistic won't help you in this case. If you have any close friends, you should have fun with them. I used to think like you, but when I met some people in my life, and experienced fun with them, I realised I was wrong all the time.

Hello. I have a problem that is making me very depressed.
I can't be around people. When I am, I feel like I want to die or just disappear. I avoid absolutely EVERYTHING that means I have to meet / talk to people etc.. I do have friends, but I never hang out with them because of this..
Why is this happening to me? What is it? :c

I don't think you're anti-social, because you do have friends. But how did you make them?
I think it may be fear of being abandoned. Question yourself why you have that feeling, and try to find the answer.
When you have the answer, you can solve the problem.

Alright man so basically, i was going out with this girl for around 8 months, but on july i fucked up, so when we just started i told her i was a virgin because all i wanted to do is fuck her, although that wasnt true, but then we started dating and i really got in love with her, i was just her 2nd guy, alright so to make things short, we got rlly in love but in july, she asked me nicely,

"well if u have touched and fingered other girls why would you never ended up fucking? what happened they didnt wanted with you or what?"
i really just dont know why i said "lol ive done shit with 3 of your friends" i know plain stupid. I called her and she was crying etc, and i was out of town, so i couldnt do anything else, i tried talking with her the other day after i tried so much but she just said, "we will talk when you get back here, thats all i have to say" then i couldnt hold it anymore, i arrived, her parents dont let her go out too much, so she had to escape everytime at 2 am .
the day i arrived we were waiting for her parents to fall asleep but then she was the one that ended up falling asleep,

so next day she apologizes and shit, and she says that she will come to my house on tuesday, her day off work, so monday we talk on whats but shit is going wrong, on tuesday she tells me her parents didnt let her,

(main reason her parents were like that with her is because they found out that she was still escaping and shit, and they found a box of the emergency pill empty) so i called her and made her tell me everything she wanted to talk in person, she didnt wanted but in the end she did, she said that what i said destroyed her and changed all the way she views me differently and that i killed all her feelings etc, i literally cried to her on the phone, was sentimental as fuck, she said maybe in the future and all that, that she wont change her mind etc.

1 week later she posted on instagram picture with some dude, earlier she was texting me to get a conv going but i was being all cold or not replying, 3 weeks after she talked me again and this time i was being a bit more friendly,

she asked me about my projects and stuff and then ended up saying oh alright, well i was just doing my weekly check, and i said, weekly check? she was like yea last week i also txtd you, so 3 days later, (yesterday) she talks to me again, we get conversation going but then after a bit i tell her, "you know what? im going to be honest, i dont like this shit of ending up as your friend", she said so you do not want to talk to me? i said well, i justdont feel comfortable talking to you in this way, she said thats how we used to talk before, so you dont even want us to be friends then? i said well i told you why, i dont feel good talking with you this way, she was like okay, i respect your decision, but talking to you for me turned out as a necesity or something, i said yeah sure, she said okey dont believe but its true, then she said random stuff from college and conv ended.

Next day (today saturday) i see her at party, she says hi to me and eeverything, i kiss her normally on the cheek, then she said what a miracle to see you, i said yea and turned around, later on i see her sitting with a guy that wasnt the one of the old instagram pics, because oh btw, she mentioned she told him to fuck off, so she was with this new one sitting, later i see them kissing, but its just that, for me, it didnt feel that bad anymore, just my instinct was telling me that i would have done something else if it was like same week we broke up, but no, i was just there staring, so now idk what to think, honestly ive found out that what hurts me the most is just thinking about her soon fucking other dude...

I think she's not over you to be honest. I think she's trying to fill up the hole with another guy.
Nonetheless, if you don't have feelings for her anymore, don't attempt a relationship with her again, but be friendly. No need not to talk to her and such, it may be uncomfortable for you, but she may really appreciate it.

Okay, this is my second time writing this since my computer crashed near the end of my message last time.

So, last year I was a freshman in high school. I didn't really know how to socialize, so in the mornings and at lunch, I would just talk to my sister and her friends, and I didn't feel totally 'out', but I didn't have any friends of my own, and I felt like I was just being annoying to them, although I really have no idea. I did okay in school, C or higher every class, all honors/AP. Anyways, I switched schools for my sophomore year to a school I know my best friend went to. Big mistake on my part, I guess. I have absolutely nobody to talk to. My best friend kind of changed, and we don't talk so much (he's a jock now, I've always been a computer type of guy). Well, really not at all. Just once, and I felt really awkward because I didn't know what to talk about and he didn't know either, and when I brang up something I did online recently, he said "Yeah, that's cool man.", which honestly, I felt like I was annoying him and I didn't want to do that, so with nothing else to say we didn't talk anymore. In all of my classes, I find no way to socialize with anyone. I have problems starting conversations with people. My mother says it's my anxiety (she's getting a therapist for me, if I feel like you two are helpful, I'll give an update on that), I really am starting to think that I'm a very anxious person and that it's all leading up to my problems in school/social environments. I don't think I look bad, I'm not too fit, but I'm not fat either. Maybe a bit pale, but I don't have any insecurity issues about my looks.

I don't know how to start conversations with people. I feel like if someone said something to me and kept a conversation going, I might be able to do so, but otherwise I have no idea how to do it. My sister and mother have told me several times that people might find me unapproachable and that I need to start conversations with others, and I understand that, I just don't know how to. I socialize fantastically on the web, I guess it's just easier since when you're on the web, you are sharing information with people that share interests with you.

Now, I don't think my main problem is my social anxiety. I think it's my anxiety about failure in school. I am doing horrid. I feel as if I am failing every class and I can't do anything about it. I can't motivate myself and push myself to do the work or study, and I really wish I could. Last year, I pushed my self so hard, and I did well, now I just can't find it in me. I think it's because of the social issues I'm having, which is why I talked so much about them. I think that with all the social anxiety piling on, I can't focus on my work/learning. In a class, the only thing I ever can focus on is my anxiety, about how I'm failing so hard and that I should be focusing harder on studying and doing the work, and that I should be socializing but I'm going to end up a failure without doing the school work. I get into mini anxiety attacks and go nuts in my head because I can't stop the damn thinking. People tell me to control my nerves, I don't have that power.

So with that, I could really use some advice. There is one other thing I'd really like your opinion on: I've been thinking about switching to a virtual school. I feel like I'll be more comfortable working at home and even though I have been forewarned that the workload is a bit bigger (3-4 assignments for each class each week is mandatory, however you can do more and work either on pace, or faster), I think it's the best step for me. I am in honors classes and I have done so good that I just cannot let my future fall like this, right in front of my eyes. I think that virtual school will be better for me because of not having to be in a social environment. I've talked to my mother about this, and she is against it, but says that she would be optimistic about it if the therapist I'm getting thinks it's the right idea. I just want an opinion and some advice here, do you think it could be a good thing for me, why/why not? If you think it is an alright idea, then how should I tell my mother that I think it's necessary? I don't want to 'convince' or guilt trip her into switching me into it, I just want to know what to say.
If you don't think that's the right idea, what are your suggestions for me to do better in school. I really can't use the old 'push yourself', as I've been given that advice too much and I never find it in me to do so.

Thanks for the free service, I hope to read from you soon :)

As for starting conversations, you need to find out what others like. See if any have similar interests. If they don't, which is rare, you should talk about the school subjects. It's easy to see who will be helpful in class, there's always one guy or girl that's easy to talk to. You should find that person and ask some things related to classes. Ask them if they have any idea on how to study better, after that, you can ask about the things they like and so on.

As for virtual school, I'm against that idea. It will just be you running away for your social problems, you have to fix them, not avoid them.

[Rigel]

Letting you guys know that I'm available to give advice so fill out the form above.

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I might lack confidence with talking to girls, but I'm young so I don't search for girls. ( At my age how ever, everyone has a GF, fucked up world ) I am insecure, but you know, I can't really help it, I always want to lose weight, all thought I am perfectly normal for my age, but I want more and more, with everything I do it is the same. I do taekwondo, I want more. I train MORE and that fucks up my school, but I want MORE at school which then again wont work with taekwondo/violin, I want to reach the best and be the best at everything I do and I will not stop till I have that. However, I think you did not understand me at my last post, I have friends, yes, I'm populair ( how ever you spell that ) but I just don't FEEL like they are my friends, I don't feel any love. from no one, not my bestfriends, not my mother, father, brother, or anyone. That's why I sometimes seek someone to love me. But always fail and get my head back on what is more important.

I am told I am a very nice guy, good looking but then again I am somehow agressive, and brutal, while I wouldn't hurt a fly or a person and I would never want to fight. ( Unless it's taekwondo for training, that's a diffrent story ) I don't get it you know, I always try my best to give, to help, to make other people happy, but when ever I am in need of help, or ask for a drink cause I forgot my money and I am tired as fuck, it's a no, then when I don't share I get called greedy or something... I just don't get it :/

Confidence! You need confidence. Judging by your response, it seems that you're very insecure about yourself and others. I'm pretty sure you're a great guy, but it seems like you're keeping people away from yourself. I believe others think it's hard to approach you, I suggest going to someone yourself instead of waiting for them to come to you. Also, I think you need to tone down the competitive nature you have going on.

It's great that you strive to be the best but it's detrimental to your personal growth if it's really getting in the way of your social life and you end up being resentful towards it. If you want things to change, you have to make it change because it won't change on its own. And don't worry about dating girls, it's really not all it's cracked up to be and if it happens, it happens. This is a time for you to explore your interests and make lasting friendships, not to be tied down to a girl. There's a saying that it's lonely at the top; we are social creatures and even if you lack confidence, you can always fake it until to you make it. Trust me, that helped me a lot because I can assure you, I was not a social butterfly back in high school. Far from it.

[King Cin]

Letting you guys know that I'm available to give advice so fill out the form above.

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Confidence! You need confidence. Judging by your response, it seems that you're very insecure about yourself and others. I'm pretty sure you're a great guy, but it seems like you're keeping people away from yourself. I believe others think it's hard to approach you, I suggest going to someone yourself instead of waiting for them to come to you. Also, I think you need to tone down the competitive nature you have going on.

It's great that you strive to be the best but it's detrimental to your personal growth if it's really getting in the way of your social life and you end up being resentful towards it. If you want things to change, you have to make it change because it won't change on its own. And don't worry about dating girls, it's really not all it's cracked up to be and if it happens, it happens. This is a time for you to explore your interests and make lasting friendships, not to be tied down to a girl. There's a saying that it's lonely at the top; we are social creatures and even if you lack confidence, you can always fake it until to you make it. Trust me, that helped me a lot because I can assure you, I was not a social butterfly back in high school. Far from it.

To add to this, love is a thing that isn't meant to be searched for. Love comes to you.

[Rigel]

Typing on my phone atm, you said in your response that i should be making long lasting friendships, and that love isn't a thing to search for but that it comes to you, I have never "searched" for love. I, however, always dream about being loved.

I can and i have made long lasting frienships ( longest 9 years now ) but still I sometimes ( late night thoughts ) feel like I don't have friends, I don't know why, maybe I look at other people too much and see how happy they are and that makes me sad because I never am really happy anymore...

I am good friends with the guys/girls that are kind to me but I am also "friends" with the ones who hate me, I could not accept anyone disliking me or being dissapointed in me, nor have I ever really dissapointed anyone yet.

You can say you don't need everyone to like you, I know, but it just doesn't feel right that some people would be sad/angry/NOT happy about my existence. Because I would have dissapointed them or had an argument with them. I try and try to be the best that I can be in nearly everything..

Sometimes, I don't even feel alive. It's a very weird feeling, I kind of lose control and everything just happends. I know what I am doing but I don't KNOW what I am doing ( hard to explain ) I feel light-headed and I feel like a robot. It goes away after a second or 2.

My point after giving you a bit more depth of my "story":
I am insecure about my looks, my personal stuff, but not about anything els, people know almost everything about me , which is not always good, and I know I have friends, not gonna repeat everything again but I feel like I don't have any. I don't feel loved..

This sounds like depression with very high expectations for the world (perfectionist even) and that's something you have to stop having because it's not realistic. No matter what you do or who you are, there's always going to be people who don't like you, who don't value you, who just don't appreciate your existence. Look at all those celebrities out there: they are adored yet there are naysayers out there trying to bring them down but celebrities just ignore them and take all the love they can and try to spread it. The point is to ignore what naysayers tell you, believe and focus yourself. This might be something that's beyond the scope of what we can do for you since we're not there physically there and that we don't know the situations so if it's possible, I suggest seeking a therapist to help.

[King Cin]

This is still available, just visit the link and you can reply.

[VYKTOR]

This is a great service.
I hope members will have benefit from this.✌

[Rigel]

Me again, at school atm now and on my phone.
I wont seak at therapist since im too young for that ( in my opinion ). I don't think I'm depressed cause my problems are shit compared to others.

I know you can not do too much for me cause you don't really know my situation but I just want to talk to others about my problems cause that has been teached me from my parents.

I know people would always hate me and trust me, every night I tell my self I will not talk to them and not give them things and not be nice to them, but then again the next day at school my kindness takes over, and I fail again.

Well, lessons are starting, might post more later.

You sound like you're in high school; that's not a young age since I had therapy when I was 6 and didn't stop until I was 12 due to a speech problem. Depression can take many forms and how you perceive situations to be problems are subjective to yourself, not how others think of them. If that's what your parents taught you, then all the more reason to seek a therapist because what you're telling us needs a lot more attention than we can give you and we can talk to you all we want but if you're not willing to change it (ego sytonic) then its all for nothing and you're going to keep feeling resentful. It is a vicious cycle and things won't just happen like that, you need to make it happen for yourself and that rings true for anything in this world.

I have a best friend who's been with me for 14 years.
I think I know she's the girl I want but I can't tell her straightaway because I am afraid my 14 years of friendship could just be gone in a few minutes.
It's like she knows almost everything about me & I also know a lot about her.
We are close & she says that I am her best friend.
Sometimes I get this feeling that I have been friendzoned but then I also don't want to lose her either.
I am just happy that she is in my life.
At first neither me nor her were too much inclined about this relationship because we were kids.
She hasn't had any relationship uptil now but is 19 years old while I have had one relationship which got broken due to her courtesy of telling me straightaway that she would never talk to me if I had my gf as my gf.
Pretty bad I know I had to choose her over my gf & it's still messed uptil now.
She acknowledges the fact that I need a girl but she won't come forward herself.
The other barrier is the distance between us.
I study in a college & so does she but I'm one year senior than her though I'm 18 & I am almost a 1000 kms away from her.
I talk to her daily & the conversations last upto 1 to 1.5 hours in which she speaks 70% of the time. I'm just like yes & no. SHe just goes on describing her whole day.
How do I make her mine?
She is partially mine but I don't want it this way.
I know she's the girl I want to spend my life with & be settled but how do I do it?
I can't flirt with her properly & she doesn't like other boys but I can't wait for that to happen as I'll die inside if someone else were to take her away from me.
I am not like those guys who would just be a great friend & think about her happiness if she loves someone else. No way, she is mine & I want her, I am willing to do anything for her & I have almost planned a secret trip to her college in a few months.
Enough said, hope you people understood the seriousness of the situation. I'm not desperate but I can't sit down & let somebody else take her away from me.
There's no one right now but someone will come. I want to be that someone.

Then you'd better get moving, won't you? In college, she's bound to turn a few heads and eventually start dating a guy. From the looks of things, she sounds like she's possessive of you, if not attracted to you except she isn't willing to admit it because she's in the same predicament as you of whether or not to risk the friendship. Unless the girlfriend you had was an awful person by shafting your best friend and making you spend less time with her due to jealousy.

Let me tell you that no risk, no reward. Sitting around hoping she'll make the first move is obviously not getting you anywhere so you might want to test the waters and start flirting with her (maybe even talk a bit about a girl you're interested in at college) next time you guys get together and talk if you're that scared of losing he friendship by directly asking her out. Then once you get a feel for her tone of voice and how she reacts to this, you may proceed from that point.