[ᴧᴌᴘᴏ]

Hello HackForums.

I've been feeling like I'm a failure for quite a while now, I'm 17, soon to be 18. I've never been employed despite trying, I have nothing currently so show for anything I've done. I've currently no income so my parents pay for the necessities currently, but I've also spent money on computers, clothes, car, insurance etc. that I need to pay back about £1500+ and no matter how hard I try I can never get anywhere. I've tried the various money making methods on here and have never had any luck, partly because I have no money to invest I imagine.

Not only do I have money problems, but I'm also alone for 99% of my daily life. I'm currently in my second year at college and don't really have any friends at college so sit alone during my free time. I barely have any friends that I regularly speak to online either. Maybe one conversation a week, if that. I was also bullied a lot through school and didn't really have any friends at school either.

I've also spent a lot of time gaming through my life, I've been gaming a lot since I was about 6 years old and have never really stopped. I have a few friends online on Xbox, but I'm mainly just there for when they need help with something they can't do and that'll be it. I'm starting to not really find it that enjoyable anymore. I used to absolutely love Halo, I remember constantly playing Halo 2 when I was young and remember being somewhat good at it for 11ish years old. I was kind of excited for the H2 Remake, but I'm not going to be getting because I wouldn't be able to afford it. I'm thinking of selling all my games and consoles, accessories, etc. I currently have a Halo:Reach Xbox 360, A PS3 Slim, with about 60 physical games on 360 and 5 on PS3. That might get me about £200 to pay back to my parents, but nowhere near what I need.

I've also spent a lot of time with computers and electronics just as a hobby as such. I've put effort into my Twitter profile which now has 45K followers, but not one of them would actually miss me as a person, it'd just be my Tweets they'd miss, because they're comedy based Tweets.

My only other hobby is/was drumming, I hoped to make a career out of it, but haven't really been able to practice due to lack of equipment and having no place to practice. I've got my drum kit at home but people have moved in so I can't use it and haven't been able to for about a year.

I recently met a girl who I really liked and she was local to me. She was perfect to me, but she's decided that I'm not right for her and just doesn't speak to me anymore, which really hasn't helped my situation. Apart from her I've not really met anyone local to me that's really made me happy.

I know there's a lot of people that have it worse than me out there, but I can't help feeling like this. Also, sorry if this is badly written or a bit scattered at parts, I've been crying whilst typing this and still am.

[hugsyou]

I am so sick of people telling me their suicidal.
Listen, you're not even 18. It gets worse when you're 18 and so on.
Finish fucking college, get your fucking life together and I promise you'd look back at this pathetic shit and laugh.

What you're feeling is because you're not happy.
To change yourself, you have to be sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Are you sick and tired enough?

[Mаtt]

What hugsyou is saying is rather on point, but I wouldn't state it as harshly as that.

Something I can suggest to you is to simply not focus on the downsides of your life and understand that someone out there has it way worse than you and will continue on with their life as if it's another day. Your current situation isn't that awful, but it's your own mind that portrays it to be. Don't ever resort to ending your own life because even though you may think that no one cares about you, someone does and even if it's just one person or one hundred people, that's still someone that cares. You have family and you have friends and that's all that matters in today's life. In order for someone to appreciate the good in their life, they must also endure suffering because if we lived in a life filled with happiness only, then appreciating it would be non-existent.

Please don't go down the road and kill yourself since you're far from being a failure and far from the edge to jump off. Take yourself a couple steps back and write down a list of every little thing you're grateful for including the clean water you're able to drink, the fact that you're actually in college whereas many can't afford it or have the motivation to go.

Get your work done and worry about the girls after college since most are really looking for a couple months / years of fun then dump you for someone else that fits into their own career path and it sucks to think that but it's very common. Relationships aren't a source of happiness, but more satisfaction. You'll be just fine on your own as it'll make you more dependent and you'll do much better down the road in life rather than having to rely on someone else or something else.

I don't know you that well but from what I can tell based off your thread is that you're very intelligent and you have a lot to offer someone, someday. Don't waste your talent on death but instead, live and do it with prosperity.

[hugsyou]

You thought life was gonna be a breeze? The bitch will throw fastballs at you all day. You gonna get fucking nailed in the face all day or bang them outta the park?

[Mаtt]

You thought life was gonna be a breeze? The bitch will throw fastballs at you all day. You gonna get fucking nailed in the face all day or bang them outta the park?

Good analogy hugsyou. You always have a fierce, but honest way of putting things.

[Confusing]

First thing you need to do is get your attitude straightened out. Also think of it like this. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, once you make that choice you're fucked. Just think of your family and all the people you would be leaving behind. Whether it's a troll thread or not, suicide is never the answer. I'm 19 and still unemployed but am a full time college student and meet new people all the time. Maybe you just need to think more positive and put forth more effort into school and meeting people. It's never too late to turn things around :)

[Grand Pootis]

Good analogy hugsyou. You always have a fierce, but honest way of putting things.

100% guaranteed that fierce and honest won't help a suicidal person

[deiski]

100% guaranteed that fierce and honest won't help a suicidal person

I would rather hear the bare honest truth than a sugar-coated lie.

[Mаtt]

100% guaranteed that fierce and honest won't help a suicidal person

If you read my post, you'd see that how he words his posts is not how I would exactly word it. I agree with you, but sometimes a little bit of honesty can straighten someone out regardless of their mood. Most state they are suicidal because they are looking for that help. Those that actually act on it are the ones that don't seek it or have sought it for "too long."

---

I would rather hear the bare honest truth than a sugar-coated lie.

As would I. Some can't handle the truth at first which is why it's alright to ease into it rather than lay it all down at once.

[Grand Pootis]

I would rather hear the bare honest truth than a sugar-coated lie.

That's good for you, you should write a book on that

If you were literally about to kill yourself, I don't think you would love hearing anything to make you feel even worse. There's a place and time for that, but not then

[Zura]

Stop worrying and study for a good job fuck dem games and study. U will earn it back within a month and then ur parents are so proud of you that they even dont want the money back (:

[Sasaki Haise]

Work on yourself. You acknowledge that people have it worse than you, so make something out of it. You just have to find something you'd like to grow on and enjoy. I always feel the way you do, never know what's the best path to take until you're at the end with regrets.

Yeah people will laugh at you and tell you not to do things that are worthwhile, but as long as you hold onto something, it'll keep you going.

[hugsyou]

I, for one, think thinking about suicide can be a healthy phase. One must go down into the valley to know how to climb up the mountain correctly.

Someone call hallmark for me pls

[Snipist]

Feeling suicidal because you think you have it bad? Guess what, someone else has it worse and is just happy to be living.

[Auxil]

Alright, I will talk to you constantly now. I will PM you for your Skype, and we will chat forever.

I understand life is hard, and damn it is hard to get a job at a younger age. Trust me, I have tried 10 different places in the last month, but alas, I am 17.

I'll PM you now.
I understand your situation. :)