[Hydra]

April Fools Cancelled
Turns out Hack Forums won't have an April Fools event this year. Lower your guards people, no need to be cautious. >>Source

Omniscient Retiring
Shortly after posting about cancelling April Fools, it's come to our attention that sometime Fall 2017, Omniscient will retire and transfer Hack Forums ownership over to Factor8™, an ex-administrator of Hack Forums. This is a shock to all of us, wish the best for Omniscient! >>Source

Hack Forums News is Going Live
We'll keep it short but we have signed a 2-year agreement with Fox News and its affiliates to broadcast hacking and security news on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights. To learn more, visit our website. >>Source

Group Announcements

• In an effort to comply with the new Provisonal Group Information Act, all group information will now be public with posting ability only reserved for group members. All information non-compliant with the Mother Board of Congress will be immediately reprimanded.
  

Group Changes

• New user group Power finally announced. Some features include unlimited thread junking, hidden status and more. >>see thread
  
• All buy-ins to be removed from their groups. In compliance with the PDA due to showing too much love.
  

Group Programs

• [Official Group] Notorious - Apprenticeship Program | Join and Learn!
  
• Join Royalty - [ Ethical Hacking STUDENT PROGRAM ] - Official Group

Group Recruitments

• Aequitas | Recruitment | IT Security | Programming | Malware Removal
  
• [Official Group] Baka - WallFlower Sector Recruitment #3
  
• Dawn - Innuendo Recruitment
  
• Dawn - Student Recruitment
  
• Echo | Lounge recruitment
  
• [ LEGENDS RECRUITMENT ]
  
• [OFFICIAL] MightyAssassins-Gaming Sector - Recruitment
  
• [Official] Royalty
  
• Think Into Royalty [Official Group] #4
  
• [Official Group Royalty] Recruitment to New Sector! Ethical Hacking
  
• Royalty Official - Pentesting Club
  
• Official Gaming Group - Skill - Recruitment #1
  
• The Brotherhood | Official Recruitment #1
  
• The Brotherhood | RuneScape Sector Recruitment
  
• The Marketers - Recruitment [Official Group]

Informational and Buy-in Threads

• Aequitas - Information
  
• [OFFICIAL] Dawn Sector --- Dawn Innuendo || Information Thread
  
• [Official] What would you like to see out of Illuminati?
  
• Marketers - General Information
  
• [Official] The Brotherhood is Back || Information Thread
  
• [Official Group] The Order | Purchase A Group Spot
  

User News

• Hexicidal reached 24,000 posts.
  Bull™ reached 2,000 reputation.
  Orgy reached 40,000 posts.
  - Sam - finally got Ub3r!
  

Bans*

• #Programmer was banned for complaining about HF policies.
  Crow was banned.
  

Vacations*

• Deadbeat took a 6-month vacation.
  

Closures

• Cylow was closed.
  

Rep Kills

• Deadbeat was rep killed.
  

Awards

• fuckthesystem has received the DaBomb award for this post.
  sonex received the Genius award for this thread.
  

*As of the Sunday prior to release.

• Announcement Threads
  • April Fools Cancelled - Omniscient
    Omniscient has posted publicly that April Fools this year is cancelled for Hack Forums. Bummer.
    
    Minimalist Demoted - Omniscient
    Minimalist has been demoted from staff for hating weebs.

• Informational Threads
  • Descriptive Guide on How to Hack a Deli - Night Fury
    Night Fury goes over the basics of how to hack a deli using a calculator.
    
    Exclusive Method on How to Debate Against a Tree - Intelligent Sin
    If you have ever wondered, "Damn I wish I knew how to beat that oak.." Well, now is your chance thanks to Intelligent Sin!
    
    How to dress like the Terminator - Armada
    Ever wanted that flashy terminator look? Slick lookin' leather jacket? Nice shades? The boy Armada got the hookup just for you.
    
    If we missed your thread in this edition, please report it in our Weekly Reports thread!

• Entertaining Threads
  • Coming out confession.. - Views
    Let us all give a round of applause to the member, Views, for opening up about his sexuality!
    
    I like to fuck blowup dolls. - Shutdown
    If you ever thought the member base of Hack Forums was weird.. Wait till you see this thread.
    
    I'm secretly a fed.. - Mr. Robot
    Mr. Robot opens up to the Hack Forums community that he is indeed a fed.
    
    No One Showed Up to My Birthday Party WTF? - Black Shadow
    Black Shadow made a thread in the lounge explaining that he was throwing a party at his mom's house. No one had shown up despite inviting all of Hack Forums.
    
    I'll draw you like a French girl - Novica
    Novica decided to doodle some naked women for ya'll.

• Member Feedback Threads
  • I am addicted to HF and Porn - Mαxim
    Feedback from Maxim explaining his recent addictions.

• Miscellaneous
  • How big is your cock? - 'Slade
    If you have a bigger male anatomy than Slade, he will award you $100.

[Hydra]

We publish the HF News every week yet we have aged members who don't even know we exist! Wear any of the signatures listed below to support us and spread the word about HF News, HF Wiki, and Writers altogether.

Support Signatures (Click to View)

-1-

Code

[align=center][url=http://bitly.com/1FnhESq][img]https://i.imgur.com/pdoOihY.png[/img][/url][/align]

-2-

Code

[align=center][url=http://bitly.com/1FnhESq][img]https://i.imgur.com/VTs6K6A.gif[/img][/url][/align]

-3-

Code

[align=center][url=http://bitly.com/1FnhESq][img]https://i.imgur.com/hkLhk6f.gif[/img][/url][/align]

-4-

Code

[align=center][url=http://bitly.com/1FnhESq][img]https://i.imgur.com/ceUBlwQ.gif[/img][/url][/align]

-5-

Code

[align=center][url=http://bitly.com/1FnhESq][img]https://i.imgur.com/pdoOihY.png[/img][/url][/align]

-6-

Code

[align=center][url=http://bitly.com/1FnhESq][img]https://i.imgur.com/oowqdqM.gif[/img][/url][/align]

-7-

Code

[align=center][url=http://bitly.com/1FnhESq][img]https://i.imgur.com/KssvPNL.gif[/img][/url][/align]

Sorry for The Delay
I keep publishing the edition a day or two late. We're making changes to stop this delay. We'll now publish the edition incomplete on Friday and continue to add in sections as they're complete up until Tuesday. Hope that sounds better, thanks!

Weaboo Virus Continues to Grow
As antibodies and antiviruses have been applied throughout the years, a specific form of weaboo has proven resistant to all attempts to eradicate it from the Earth, continuing to evolve. Commonly referred to as 'New Ebola' the effects of this virus include various forms of binging, weirdness and obsession with Japanese culture. The CDC has announced that typical signs include obscure Japanese names, nonsensical anime references and major obsession with something referred to as Senpai. If anyone should come across "Senpai", it is highly advised to avoid it at all cost or you too will suffer from Weaboo.

Time Travel Now Possible
After years of tachyon study and attempts to discover new particles through use of the hadron collider under the Swiss-French border, time travel has finally had a breakthrough and found to be currently possible. Studies have shown that while it is impossible to move backwards in time, we are currently able to move forward through time. Scientists say that in order to perform this leap through time, one must simply do nothing. A great example can be expressed through the very reading of this paragraph which has approximately taken you about 10-20 seconds which can be attributed to the fact that you are still reading and have actually moved forward that same 10-20 seconds. While further studies are being done to increase this leap forward through time, we must first utilize other means of energy such as the fingers used to type this and waste another 5 seconds of your life thus increasing the initial 10-20 seconds to 15-25 seconds further proving that advancements in time travel are being made.

Sozin's Comet Soon to Reach Earth
Sozin's Comet, also known as the Great Comet is a celestial object that passed by the earth every one hundred years. The year 1917 was the last report of the comet passing by the Earth. Every time that the comet year happens, it will enter the upper atmosphere just skimming the surface of the earth. Nothing that would harm us. The father of Prince Zuko and Princess Azula, Fire Lord Ozai said that the comet offered great powers. Ozai called it, "the power of a hundred suns". A lot of people from the fire nation grow stronger as the comet approaches and a few notable names like Aang, the Avatar gain a tremendous amount of fire energy that could be problematic if used in the wrong way. But sadly the Avatar Aang was nowhere to be found and the Fire Nation attacked. >>Source

Terrorist Attack in Antarctica
A recent and tragic terrorist attack has occurred in Antarctica. On March 30 a group of penguins had flocked towards the continent and taken over the oceans surrounding it. A group of scientists noticed glaring red eyes in the distance coming towards their igloos and were unsure of what these entities were. As time went by, the penguins soon came over and swarmed the scientists' igloos. One survivor of the attack made it safely to the other side of the continent where he was able to call for help. The Navy Seals arrived and it was a full on penguin and seal battle that lasted for two days, and thanks to the Navy Seals everything is okay. >>Source

Creepy Fox Spotted Around the World
All across the globe, from the United States all the way to Ireland there have been reports of creepy, red foxes spotted outside of people's homes. Now you might be wondering, "what is so scary about these foxes?" Well an eye witness to these foxes had a little story to share. His name is Alex Wright from North Dakota. He states that on his way home from McDonald's he had spotted something following him. He had no idea what it was and he was pretty freaked out. Alex decided to go an alternate route home in order to get rid of whatever was following him. To his knowledge that had gotten rid of whatever was chasing him. It is pretty creepy when something is following you, so it is not strange at all that Alex did this. Alex had heard from people in his small town about reports of a weird fox that has been spotted not only in his area of North Dakota but around the world too. The sun was setting and Alex was almost home. As he got near the street to his house he felt the strange presence following him from before. He turned around and noticed something following him. He thought nothing of it and continued walking. As Alex got to the driveway of his house, he still had that feeling that someone was watching and as he turned around he noticed a very cute furry fox girl who shouted out, "NOTICE ME SENPAI". >>Source

Google's Parent Company, Alphabet, Hacked
On Tuesday, Alphabet released a public statement notifying its investors that they had been hacked. The breach allowed access to the companies financials and employee database. Some analyst believe the exploit can be used on other websites like Facebook, Twitter, and even Google. Alphabet has yet to reveal how the hack happened and if they have patched it. >>Source

Snapchat's New Filter: XXXTentacion Filter
Now you're able to yell lyrics using this filter and it will turn it into XXXTentacion's style of music with distorted bass. Snap, Inc. has stated this will only be active for the next week so make sure to check it out before it is gone! Here's what the filter turn your snaps into: sample. >>Source

The Live-Action Death Note Movie Gets A Trailer
The live-action movie in the making by Netflix of the anime series Death Note has gotten a lot of hate from fans. Many people have said that the movie is "whitewashing" and that the presence of no Japanese people are going to ruin the anime. It will be interesting to see if the creators over at Netflix will leave any of the plot out considering it is a movie rather an a TV series. Either way the movie looks not so great but only time will tell. >>Source

SAO Brings in More Than 2 Million Yen in Japan
Since the release of the movie Sword Art Online: Ordinal Scale on Feb 18, the movie continues to stay on the charts of the top 10 most purchased tickets. In Japan alone it was estimated around 1.4 million people went to go see this movie. Worldwide it was estimated almost as much as the japan screenings with sales of over 0.7 million people. The sales of the movie in Japan earned 2 billion yen which in U.S. dollars is equal to $17,957,360, while worldwide the movie earned 600 million yen which is $5,387,208. If you are lucky enough to go to the sixth and seventh week of the anime you will get the chance to get two original cardboard posters from the character designer of the anime. Depending on the week you go, will determine which poster you get. The 6th week viewers get a Kirito and Eiji poster while the 7th week viewers get Asuna and Yuna! >>Source

Dubbed or Subbed?
Popular debate in the anime community is whether or not you liked dubbed anime or subbed. Two very popular streaming services for anime fans is Crunchyroll and Funimation. Crunchyroll showcases animes usually in their raw Japanese form with subtitles, while Funimation has dubbed versions of your favorite anime. The reason this is being brought up is the fact that the anime creators put so much time and effort in what you do, that when you purchase these streaming services you are helping the animators and developers tremendously. Both services offer free services where you need to watch ads before watching the full series and then they also over premium services. No the HFNT is not a sellout! We are not forcing you to purchase these subscriptions. Just know that dubbed anime is not that great and anyone that says it is better than subbed needs to go to a doctor. Like seriously. if you do not watch subbed then why do you call yourself an anime fan. Go back to Cartoon Network you pleb. (There are some cool dubbed anime do not hate me thanks.) >>Source

Why You Need Nico in Your Life
Ever wondered what to do in life? Ever wondered if there was a person or thing to motivate you and get things going? Well that one thing should be the marvelous, beautiful Nico Yazawa. It is a great thing knowing how interested you are in knowing about our lord and savior Nico. Well to keep it short...

Spoiler (Click to View)

>>Source

[Hydra]

[Mαxim]

First mehe. Giving it a read during breakfast later.

Edit: Nice one lol. Dibs for taking over HFN when you get banned.

Edit (2): Fuck me this is a good edition lmao.

[Saltpeter]

Great job guys, I love the Onion and this reads just like it.

[test]

Even though I knew it was an April Fools thing, I still clicked every single one of the source links. God damnit.

[Cheese Doober]

Never seen so much april fools be4

[Lauren Southern]

Wow this is some high quality b8

[rsx]

Couple little April Fools jokes in there that got me lmao

[♦ [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅1000)̲̅$̲̅] ♦]

Hahaha loved it
Clicked every link for the hell of it

April fools

[Gustav.]

lmao I am fucking dying. Best edition, ever.

O wait: https://hackforums.news/ LOL

[Zexo]

Can vouch miniboy hates weebs should be d33moted.

[Mαxim]

lmao I am fucking dying. Best edition, ever.

O wait: https://hackforums.news/ LOL

Missed the completely LOL

Armada and Mr. Robot go way back when they had teamed up with Brian Krebs (Krebs on Security) and worked with him to bring exclusive news. There was a short fallout between Armada and Mr. Robot however we paid both a hefty salary for them to work with HF News, Inc.

[Steve]

Missed the completely LOL

LOL "Armada and Mr. Robot go way back when they had teamed up with Brian Krebs (Krebs on Security" I'm dying 🤣

[minimalist]

Please be fair to me 😠