Feb 14, 2019 05:53 AM
Trigger Warning ---> A depressed teen expressing his life
Spoiler (Click to View)
I'm in a constant rage. Everything I consider doing I fail like shit. I'm 18 years old and I don't know what to do with my life. I'm trying to read some books about how to get rich (Poor Dad, Rich Dad) and stuff, that's probably because I'm really lazy and tries get the easy way, as I've been told to. My mother abandoned everything in our poor country 7 years ago so we can come here in France to let me expand. Get smarter and a better outlook on life. She's spending nearly half her paycheck to pay personal teachers to learn me better maths, french and stuff, but I still fail. I make her cry and disappoint her, because I'm lazy and don't want to do anything but playing video games and watching Netflix. I'm trying to focus to learn my lesson but I can't, even if I tried going to the town's library to learn there. I tried to make some money by myself, through dropshipping or e whoring, but I fail. I can't find a job at the moment cause I have school. I hate school. Being kind to others, and you're still lonely. I share opinions with no one. Just small talks, the small fucking useless talks. I'm in love constantly. Every year I propose to one girl at least, and I've done that 7 years. I got rejected 7 times, but still I manage to gain confidence after each rejection. People tell me that I walk with confidence and stuff, but what they didn't tell me is that I lose confidence when I'm starting to talk. A hot chick in my class seemed interested in me at the beginning of the year, you know that moment when you know nobody so you don't talk much. She thought my confidence is sexy. I started to open up a bit to the people and started talking. At that fucking very moment, she turned off. Now I'm the only in love with her and she seems uninterested. Great. One time, I remember, I was so fed up talking to people, that I faked a loss of voice. I'm between the constant need of attention, but I hate when I only get small talks. I'm sure you understand what I mean. A depressed tee... or young adult. I'm writing this at my school library, lost in thoughts, browsing on HF between about funny stories on the Lounge and money making methods, still undecided of what I m going to do in the future. I'm writing this maybe because I'm looking for attention, and I don't know how to get it, or just maybe I'm not okay in my head.
I don't need your ''you gonna make it, just keep grinding'', or ''follow this course to get more socially succesful'' or even the ''go to the gym'.
I appreciate the advices, but I don't feel they help me.
Spoiler (Click to View)
I'm in a constant rage. Everything I consider doing I fail like shit. I'm 18 years old and I don't know what to do with my life. I'm trying to read some books about how to get rich (Poor Dad, Rich Dad) and stuff, that's probably because I'm really lazy and tries get the easy way, as I've been told to. My mother abandoned everything in our poor country 7 years ago so we can come here in France to let me expand. Get smarter and a better outlook on life. She's spending nearly half her paycheck to pay personal teachers to learn me better maths, french and stuff, but I still fail. I make her cry and disappoint her, because I'm lazy and don't want to do anything but playing video games and watching Netflix. I'm trying to focus to learn my lesson but I can't, even if I tried going to the town's library to learn there. I tried to make some money by myself, through dropshipping or e whoring, but I fail. I can't find a job at the moment cause I have school. I hate school. Being kind to others, and you're still lonely. I share opinions with no one. Just small talks, the small fucking useless talks. I'm in love constantly. Every year I propose to one girl at least, and I've done that 7 years. I got rejected 7 times, but still I manage to gain confidence after each rejection. People tell me that I walk with confidence and stuff, but what they didn't tell me is that I lose confidence when I'm starting to talk. A hot chick in my class seemed interested in me at the beginning of the year, you know that moment when you know nobody so you don't talk much. She thought my confidence is sexy. I started to open up a bit to the people and started talking. At that fucking very moment, she turned off. Now I'm the only in love with her and she seems uninterested. Great. One time, I remember, I was so fed up talking to people, that I faked a loss of voice. I'm between the constant need of attention, but I hate when I only get small talks. I'm sure you understand what I mean. A depressed tee... or young adult. I'm writing this at my school library, lost in thoughts, browsing on HF between about funny stories on the Lounge and money making methods, still undecided of what I m going to do in the future. I'm writing this maybe because I'm looking for attention, and I don't know how to get it, or just maybe I'm not okay in my head.
I don't need your ''you gonna make it, just keep grinding'', or ''follow this course to get more socially succesful'' or even the ''go to the gym'.
I appreciate the advices, but I don't feel they help me.
![[Image: fpZ5a5g.png]](https://i.imgur.com/fpZ5a5g.png)
![[Image: M1B6j3l.gif]](https://i.imgur.com/M1B6j3l.gif)
![[Image: E0PaFmi.gif]](https://i.imgur.com/E0PaFmi.gif)