[1222vermtrue]

I believe I have lost about a couple friends because of the way I act. I act like a dickhead sometimes without knowing and I don't know what to stop or what they are feeling emotionally. I can't help myself but I do it sometimes even when it's fucked up. I feel like there is europhic effects when I get really engaged to someone but I can act like an ass hat and not when to stop and it "hurts" the persons feelings. I feel like I am very negative to people when I see them at first. I can't process when people are feeling emotions when I am in this state. They could be Sad, Angry, ETC. As a result, in the past months, a lot of people have stopped talking to me in text and IRL. ( Probably an overexaggeration, I just know they hate me)

I have OCD but it is completely unrelated.
I am now more aware and I probably could control my self better after finding it out.

[AsSaSs@iN]

True OCD sometimes is associated with Autism. People vary on the 'spectrum' of autism. Autism is a developmental disorder of variable severity that is characterized by difficulty in social interaction and communication and by restricted or repetitive patterns of thought and behaviour. People range from mildly autistic to severe autism where they become silent.

With that being said, you shouldn't focus on a 'diagnosis' of your personality. Maybe, instead of talking during interactions practice the act of self-restraint and listening. Make a point of actually thinking about what you're going to say before you say it. At first it may seem weird in your interactions but will become more natural for you to actually stop, process what the person has said, think about what you're going to say and how it may be interpreted. If you see a direct negative response from what you've said, address it right then and there. Don't remunerate on it. Saying something like 'I'm sorry sometimes I say stupid shit that I don't mean, I'm really trying to work on it, did what I say upset you?'. Don't fixate on the what you did. If they say no it's fine. Move on straight away. If they tell you something negative aboiut what you said, say 'Oh I'm sorry it came across like that, I didnt truly mean it.'

TBH i'm even probably somewhere along the 'spectrum' (mildly). To some degree I recognised the trait in myself where I don't actually think about what someone has said and what I'm about to say (and how it will make them feel). Hope that helps!

[XperienceMe]

Borderline personality disorder is a mental health disorder that impacts the way you think and feel about yourself and others, causing problems functioning in everyday life. It includes self-image issues, difficulty managing emotions and behavior, and a pattern of unstable relationships