[eXceptional]

Looking For Real-Life Parenting Advice

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Now that I have been blessed with my second child, I would really appreciate hearing from members who have experience raising two or more kids.

How did life change for you?
What were the biggest challenges in the early years?
Anything you wish you had done differently?
And any advice you would give to someone just starting this journey?

I am especially interested in learning how you balanced time, responsibilities, work, and family without burning out.

Thank you in advance to anyone willing to share their experiences. I believe real stories often help more than generic advice.

[R5N3T]

I have been blessed with three daughters. Since then, I no longer think only about myself, because my main priority is the future of my children and my wife. One important lesson I can share is the value of sharing responsibilities with your spouse, whether it’s household chores, your children’s education, or other daily matters. Taking care of children is not easy, and when everything falls on the wife, physical and mental exhaustion can affect the harmony of the family.

That’s why, even though I work outside the home, I always make an effort to help my wife when I get home, so her burden is lighter. Another crucial point is financial management. Having more than one child requires good money management for their future. We can no longer be wasteful or focus on personal desires; spending should be prioritized for the needs of the household, especially for our children and spouse.

I hope my story can be helpful to you 😁

[Yanix]

First, congrats on your growing family! Two kids definitely changes the rhythm, but it also doubles the love and laughter. Sane here, I got 2 kids as well a girl and a boy.

Biggest lessons for me: routines save your sanity, communication with your wife is everything and it’s okay to ask for help. The early years can be exhausting, stressful nights and days but they pass faster than you think—so enjoy the small moments. Also, the biggest challenge early on is balancing attention between both kids, but teamwork with your wife and letting go of perfection make a huge difference.

[eXceptional]

I have been blessed with three daughters. Since then, I no longer think only about myself, because my main priority is the future of my children and my wife. One important lesson I can share is the value of sharing responsibilities with your spouse, whether it’s household chores, your children’s education, or other daily matters. Taking care of children is not easy, and when everything falls on the wife, physical and mental exhaustion can affect the harmony of the family.

That’s why, even though I work outside the home, I always make an effort to help my wife when I get home, so her burden is lighter. Another crucial point is financial management. Having more than one child requires good money management for their future. We can no longer be wasteful or focus on personal desires; spending should be prioritized for the needs of the household, especially for our children and spouse.

I hope my story can be helpful to you 😁

This helps a lot. Thanks my friend. Financial stuff is something I have to take care for though my family financial background is strong but I'm a self made man so I'll make sure to take this advice and help my wife with with things.

Infact, me and my wife planned earlier that my wife will do Job, she was a house wife before, she'll get a good job I'm sure and we'll hire a nanny. I also have my parents living with me so that's a + for me.

First, congrats on your growing family! Two kids definitely changes the rhythm, but it also doubles the love and laughter. Sane here, I got 2 kids as well a girl and a boy.

Biggest lessons for me: routines save your sanity, communication with your wife is everything and it’s okay to ask for help. The early years can be exhausting, stressful nights and days but they pass faster than you think—so enjoy the small moments. Also, the biggest challenge early on is balancing attention between both kids, but teamwork with your wife and letting go of perfection make a huge difference.

Thank you bro. Definately something I need to learn. I'll try not to be perfect always. I'll let it go sometimes. Thanks again.

[Jamika]

Alright, I’ll tell you something… thank God, I have three children. I thought I wouldn’t be able to love the new child the same way I loved the previous ones. Believe me, you’ll find that your bond only grows stronger. Children also love encouraging each other to learn good qualities.
Just make sure to give them attention without spoiling them or giving them everything they want without limits. Also, be sure to take care of your older child as if they were the only one, so they don’t hate their sibling or feel that they’re the reason the attention was taken away from them.

[eXceptional]

Alright, I’ll tell you something… thank God, I have three children. I thought I wouldn’t be able to love the new child the same way I loved the previous ones. Believe me, you’ll find that your bond only grows stronger. Children also love encouraging each other to learn good qualities.
Just make sure to give them attention without spoiling them or giving them everything they want without limits. Also, be sure to take care of your older child as if they were the only one, so they don’t hate their sibling or feel that they’re the reason the attention was taken away from them.

Trust me I have the same feeling and thank you for sharing your experience.

[JoshAllen]

I do not have experience in this area, but I will be following and think this is a great discussion to have.

[eXceptional]

I do not have experience in this area, but I will be following and think this is a great discussion to have.

Real life experiences always help. First child experiences were shared from friends but since it's my 2nd baby boy I need more experienced advices which is why I felt this is the best place to share and gain experiences.

[PISTONZ]

Alright, I’ll tell you something… thank God, I have three children. I thought I wouldn’t be able to love the new child the same way I loved the previous ones. Believe me, you’ll find that your bond only grows stronger. Children also love encouraging each other to learn good qualities.
Just make sure to give them attention without spoiling them or giving them everything they want without limits. Also, be sure to take care of your older child as if they were the only one, so they don’t hate their sibling or feel that they’re the reason the attention was taken away from them.

This is good advise. 👍

[Fallenour]

I have six kids. The best thing you can do is be the best person for yourself first and foremost. The improvements you make in yourself will directly reflect in them in the long term.

Have patience, practice patience, and be fast on restraint, slow to anger. What you do, how you do, and in what way you do will become learned behaviors and patterns for your children.

Teach them kindness over cruelty, and mercy over malice. Be kind to your wife, to your kids, and teach them to be kind & gentle with each other.

Make investments early into their 529K, ROTH, and UTMA/UGMA accounts. Open them and fund them, even if its just 100/kid in ETF accounts. The compounding effect matters with time.

Understand that your goals matter, but should be shaped and focused towards your families success, and not just your own. Your goals will change to focus on your family, whether you realize it or not, as things slowly evolve over time, and they begin to matter more and more to you.

Find solid mentors in your life, because your overall outcome will be and become their foundation to build upon, not just for their lives, but for their childrens lives as well.

Max out your own Roth, 401K, HSA if you can, and set up taxible brokerage accounts that have solid positions in ETFs and dividend paying stocks. Maximizing for your financial future maximizes for theirs.

Expect to support your kids for many years after they move out to some extent. Some more than others, and some not at all. Know which ones are too willing to ask for help, and which ones are too willing not to. Protect them from their pride, itll be their downfall if you dont, and theyll secretly blame you anyways.

Understand at some point, they will disappoint you. How, and in what way, that remains to be seen. What you do when that time comes will matter more than most other moments in their lives. How you treat them when they succeed, and when they fail, will directly affect how well this moment goes.

Understand that failure will be the rule, not the exception, but understand that failure by our standards is success by theirs. They are still growing, and their best outcomes are based on your ability to extract their best efforts from themselves. Motivate them to always try, even when you know theyll fail. Help them succeed by showing them the path to success after you allow them to fail first. There is more knowledge in defeat than victory.

Create an environment where truth and transparency is rewarded, and where dishonesty and treachery is crushed with an iron fist. Teach them both. Teach them everything you can as a matter of fact. Live your life by the philosphy "There is no such thing as forbidden knowledge, just forbidden practices".

When it comes to your wife/fiance/girlfriend/etc, understand that it wont ever be 50/50, and youll be lucky if it averages 60/40. Some days itll be 80/20, sometimes 20/80. Meet them at whatever middle they can reach, and when times require it, allow them to go the extra mile to meet you at short middle.

Raising kids is a marathon that takes your entire lifetime, and its still too short a timeframe to run the full race. Its the beauty of it really. Knowing that we leave the world with the torch never crossing the finish line with us, but with those we leave behind.

[eXceptional]

I have six kids. The best thing you can do is be the best person for yourself first and foremost. The improvements you make in yourself will directly reflect in them in the long term.

Have patience, practice patience, and be fast on restraint, slow to anger. What you do, how you do, and in what way you do will become learned behaviors and patterns for your children.

Teach them kindness over cruelty, and mercy over malice. Be kind to your wife, to your kids, and teach them to be kind & gentle with each other.

Make investments early into their 529K, ROTH, and UTMA/UGMA accounts. Open them and fund them, even if its just 100/kid in ETF accounts. The compounding effect matters with time.

Understand that your goals matter, but should be shaped and focused towards your families success, and not just your own. Your goals will change to focus on your family, whether you realize it or not, as things slowly evolve over time, and they begin to matter more and more to you.

Find solid mentors in your life, because your overall outcome will be and become their foundation to build upon, not just for their lives, but for their childrens lives as well.

Max out your own Roth, 401K, HSA if you can, and set up taxible brokerage accounts that have solid positions in ETFs and dividend paying stocks. Maximizing for your financial future maximizes for theirs.

Expect to support your kids for many years after they move out to some extent. Some more than others, and some not at all. Know which ones are too willing to ask for help, and which ones are too willing not to. Protect them from their pride, itll be their downfall if you dont, and theyll secretly blame you anyways.

Understand at some point, they will disappoint you. How, and in what way, that remains to be seen. What you do when that time comes will matter more than most other moments in their lives. How you treat them when they succeed, and when they fail, will directly affect how well this moment goes.

Understand that failure will be the rule, not the exception, but understand that failure by our standards is success by theirs. They are still growing, and their best outcomes are based on your ability to extract their best efforts from themselves. Motivate them to always try, even when you know theyll fail. Help them succeed by showing them the path to success after you allow them to fail first. There is more knowledge in defeat than victory.

Create an environment where truth and transparency is rewarded, and where dishonesty and treachery is crushed with an iron fist. Teach them both. Teach them everything you can as a matter of fact. Live your life by the philosphy "There is no such thing as forbidden knowledge, just forbidden practices".

When it comes to your wife/fiance/girlfriend/etc, understand that it wont ever be 50/50, and youll be lucky if it averages 60/40. Some days itll be 80/20, sometimes 20/80. Meet them at whatever middle they can reach, and when times require it, allow them to go the extra mile to meet you at short middle.

Raising kids is a marathon that takes your entire lifetime, and its still too short a timeframe to run the full race. Its the beauty of it really. Knowing that we leave the world with the torch never crossing the finish line with us, but with those we leave behind.

I'm sure you have 6 kids. Feels like you still haven't completely shared everything you could.

I'll make note of evert thing you said in this post.

Thank you for sharing the experience and guiding me.