Fight Your Temptations
Posted Sep 13, 2019 12:05 PM
Temptations can be the worst things in our lives and in our minds. They can make up impulsive, compulsive and self destructive. They can lead us down a path that leads to nothing but sadness or regret. But they can be beaten!Think about your main temptations, and what they are. Perhaps it's the desire to eat something tasty but unhealthy, you know you shouldn't do it but then you catch a whiff of it's delicious scent and give in to your temptation, only to regret it later on. Sometimes we get stressed and reach for the pack of smokes, or the vape, and get that sweet, sweet hit of nicotine, but wish we hadn't later in the day when we start wheezing or coughing. It could even be something as innocuous as biting your nails, something I used to do compulsively, which led to horrible looking fingers and the constant potential for infection or sickness.
What can we do to fight our temptations?
The first thing to do is acknowledge we have a weakness toward a certain trigger, that something is there nagging away at us and we want to satisfy that itch. For me, I had to accept that I was harming myself with my actions and was making myself look unattractive. Sometimes, you have to accept and realise that your actions are actively causing pain and problems, not that it's just an inconvenience or something to be annoyed about. Then, we have to remove those things from our daily routine.
For me, I have to actively concentrate on not bringing my fingers to my mouth, and to keep my mouth busy. I figured I had an oral fixation, and needed to replace the act of biting. I started keeping a matchstick or a toothpick in my mouth, which physically stopped me from being able to bite my fingers because I was consciously aware of the stick being there. Every time I went to bite, I would either put the stick there instead, or be stopped by the presence of the stick, and was able to stop the action that led to pain and an unattractive appearance. Over the course of a week, I came to the realisation that I had stopped unconsciously biting my nails, and was already looking a lot better. Sometimes, we literally just need to find something to take our mind off the temptation to avoid it altogether. Much like the elastic band method, where you ping it on your wrist every time you have a tempting thought, so you eventually associate pain with the undesired action to avoid it, you can find something to replace the temptation and stop the thoughts that lead to the action.
Of course, stress makes me want to bite again, and I find that I've already bitten myself before I actively think about it and end up cursing myself for it. That's where we can trip over ourself and became irrationally angry, and give in to another temptation or even the one we were originally trying to avoid. Reminding ourselves that this is a temporary struggle, that this is a journey of sorts, makes the whole thing more manageable. We have to pick and choose the battles that lead to our goal, and fight them on our own terms, so that we can get to the finish line safely and with a real plan.
The main thing to remember is that all learned behaviour can be unlearned, and new methods can take their place, so the temptation you face today which may feel like a mountain, can soon become just a slight bump in the road you easily get over. Find your toothpick as it were, use it as a reminder that other things are available, that other options are out there, and focus on making a better you. That's the way to do it!
